Apparently, I’m(26F) too perfect for someone like him(28M). Was this the best shutdown ever or is he really that insecure?

One person from Reddit shares the story of a long-time friendship that has grown into something more, after an accident where the poster was injured and their friend became increasingly affectionate and attentive.

However, things took an unexpected turn when the friend expressed that the poster is “too perfect” for him and that he isn’t good enough. Was this a sign of insecurity or disinterest? Read the full story below to understand the situation better.

‘ Apparently, I’m(26F) too perfect for someone like him(28M). Was this the best shutdown ever or is he really that insecure?’

8 years ago I was on a vacation on the other side of the world and met a guy from my town. There was this instant, intense connection. We agreed to go on a date the next day but it never happened. Hours after we met something terrible happened to him.

I witnessed a friend die in a similar situation, hearing what had happened triggered my PTSD so bad that I cut my vacation short and switched 4 flights to get back home asap. I didn’t know if he was even alive and dreaded finding out but he never left my mind.

1 year later I finally dared to look him up on social media and we reconnected. We chatted for months and then started hanging out irl, we became very close friends.. ​He was jumping from relationship to relationship, we both happened to be single at the same time some 3 years ago and I caught feelings.

At first I thought it was just convenience, he was here, hot and single. By the time I realized I’m actually in love, he was already with someone else. 2 years ago he was going trough some hard times, lost his job, his girlfriend left him and he crashed at my place.

He was in a terrible mental state and I was his soundboard, all I could do was listen and make him hold on to the positive thoughts when he had one. I encouraged him to go back to his old hobby and he started making pretty good living out of it.

Now he’s back to his old self, says he’s happier than ever and gives me full credit for pushing his life in the right direction. We kept living together cause it worked for us. We still do, we click very well, organically share chores (or shared, more on that later) and it’s generally a lot of fun.

He started changing, at first it was gradual, nothing huge or shocking but it eventually picked up pace. It started with random compliments, then random hugs and a month ago it went to full on pampering.. ​Few months ago I was his by a drunk driver, had head trauma and several broken ribs.

I spent weeks in the hospital, made full recovery and he never left my sight. My nose was badly broken and I was going to get it fixed somewhere down the line but he was begging me not to push that back. He has a facial scar from the incident 8 years ago and he opened up about it for the first time.

He had tons of repair treatments, now it’s barely noticeable but at some point it was very bad and he still sees it that way. It looks like a scratch on his chin and a slight discoloration on the side of his face which you can’t even see case he’s always had longer hair, and he calls himself disfigured.

He was begging me not to live with a disfigurement for a day longer than I have to. At first I thought he was projecting his insecurities on me but he really opened up about how he felt when he woke up with a new face and knew he had to live life like that from that point on.

I realized he has my best interest at heart, it was also the first time I realized how insecure he was.. ​After my accident, those tiny signs of affection started escalating much faster. He works from home, I rent a studio and maintain a work schedule to avoid being lazy and he started adjusting his schedule to mine.

Before the accident we would cook dinner together, go out or order in, maybe 2-3 times a months he would have dinner ready for me when I got home. For the past month it’s been every single day. The shopping is done, the pets are taken care of and the house is spotless, he never lets me pay when we eat out.

After dinner we usually binge some show, his arm is always around me and he constantly plays with my hair. He thanks me for saving his life, for being his friend, for being me… I started reciprocating and when I cuddle up to him he kisses the top of my head, things like that.

Cuddling with him is the highlight of my day but I’m begging him to stop pampering me like that, he says I deserve it.. ​Last night we were cuddled up as always. I raised my head and looked him in the eyes, it was a moment. I was going for a kiss but instead got the best shutdown ever!

He started talking like I’m some deity that should only be admired from afar. In a nutshell, I’m too perfect for someone like him. He saw where this was heading, nope, he’s not good enough for that. Took me some time to remember to blink, said I’m sorry he feels that way and got up.

I left early this morning and I still haven’t seen him but he texted me if I would want this or that for dinner. What exactly is his deal? Could he really be that insecure or he’s simply not interested? What is with all that pampering then?

He could be happy I’m alive and made a full recovery, but he was making advances long before my accident. He was never a hugger or a yesmam, he started becoming one 2 years ago and only with me..

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

[Reddit User] −  You claim you two are sooo close and connected, and yet here you are asking strangers what he is thinking instead of talking to him about it. GO ASK HIM!!!

dbd_mod_is_gaf −  He’s that insecure. Whatever happened changed his outlook on life and he was relationship hopping to try and find meaning, now he found it but doesn’t know what to do with it so he feels he doesn’t deserve it. Patience and honesty will go a long way with him if you want to pursue the relationship

Do you think his statement about being “too perfect” was a manifestation of his deep insecurity, or is there a deeper reason behind his sudden withdrawal? How would you handle someone who constantly praises you but also pushes you away at the same time? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/QNjQr