UPDATE: Apparently, I’m(26F) too perfect for someone like him(28M). Was this the best shutdown ever or is he really that insecure?
A Redditor shares an update on their complicated but ultimately rewarding journey with a long-time friend turned partner. After years of emotional ups and downs, misunderstandings, and insecurities.
They finally opened up to each other, leading to a heartfelt resolution. Read the original story below to learn how miscommunication almost kept them apart, and how talking it out changed everything.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/Nbzkv
‘ UPDATE: Apparently, I’m(26F) too perfect for someone like him(28M). Was this the best shutdown ever or is he really that insecure?’
I wasn’t going to bother linking the original post but I guess I have to. It only attracted the attention of 2 people, one of them probably has a lot of throaways judging by my karma. Still, it’s a happy ending and a teachable moment I would love to share with the world..
In a nutshell- I met a guy I liked, found out there was an incident involving him, ran away cause I lost a close friend to a similar situation and that was too much for me to handle. A year or so later I looked him up to see if he even survived, we got back in touch and became friends.
Over the years I caught feelings, he started yet another relationship. He went through a hard time and crashed at my place. We kept living together, he got better emotionally and started showering me with affection.
Then I got hit by a drunk diver and got off with no complication and very easy recovery (compared to what could’ve been in that particular situation). While I was in the hospital he told me the incident left him disfigured.
He fixed that, it’s barely noticeable, you literally have to know about the remaining scar to see it but he can’t stop seeing himself that way. Once I left the hospital, those tiny signs of affection got progressively bigger, to the point there wasn’t a moment without physical contact.
One night we were cuddled up on the couch and I went for the kiss, he shut me down by saying I’m too perfect to be wasted on someone like him.. The actual update- The next day I went to work, he pretended last night never happened, I was freaking out cause I wanted to have the talk but didn’t want to push it.
Had the talk anyway and now we’re together. We opened up about a lot of things. He had no idea why I ran away when I found out about the incident. He thought I knew about his injuries and didn’t want him like that. I haven’t spoken about my friend with anyone but a therapist, I finally told him and he understood.
He said he was jumping from relationship to relationship to numb his feeling for me cause he thought I would never be able to love him back. The night I tried to make the move, it was the kiss itself that freaked him out.
Turns out that sexy cheeky slightly crooked smile is nerve damage and an ex told him he’s the worst kisser in the world. He’s not. He’s also brilliant in bed. In that one night we became closer than in the past 7 years.
And I told him acting like my housewife/babysitter won’t fly no more and he toned it down but he still pampers me to an extent. Right now we’re like teenagers, glued at the lips, making up for lost time.
He was my best friend for so long and I know he’s the one for me. This felt like a relationship for months before it even started, now I got the good stuff on top of the perfect partnership we already had. So people, talk to your loved ones ffs! We wasted years beating around the bush, learn from our mistakes..
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
thepinkshoe − Yay! Always like a happy update! Hope you both are very happy 🙂
Vivaldist − Turns out that sexy cheeky slightly crooked smile is nerve damage. Oh cool I’m not the only person that has to deal with this lol. Congrats on taking steps forward with your relationship!
free_and_not_yet − u/dbd_mod_is_gaf from the original thread got it exactly right: He’s that insecure. Whatever happened changed his outlook on life and he was relationship hopping to try and find meaning,
now he found it but doesn’t know what to do with it so he feels he doesn’t deserve it. Patience and honesty will go a long way with him if you want to pursue the relationship. Also, this is a lovely update. Best of luck to you both.
Carbonfarmer − I love in your original post someone was saying “GO TALK TO HIM!”, and I was thinking the exact same thing! This is such a wholesome story! You guys sound perfect for each other.
Keep lifting each other up, keep up that communication, and keep up that lovey dovey teenager state of mind! It sounds like you have TONNES of ground to catch up on 🙂 Congrats btw!
Julescahules − This is the sweetest thing ever! I’m so happy for you two, glad you guys worked it out. It sounds like you both really care about each other, and even though you didn’t get to be together right away, you got a lot of time to know him as a friend, and that’s really amazing. Good luck to you!
Voleuse − You complain about the advice you got yet you give the same exact advice in your closing paragraph XD
swarleyknope − Oooh! I love this post. Congrats! And now I have to rethink my blanket “If someone tells you they don’t deserve you, believe them” philosophy.
MumboNo8 − Just make sure you keep up the communication going forward! It’s work to keep open lines with each other, but super worth it! Best of luck with future
Toxic_Planet − Oh s**t my eyes got watery reading the adorable update. Congratulations.
evacia − i thought he had a madonna complex for OP lol glad it worked out
It’s easy to see how years of misunderstandings can cloud a relationship, but it’s never too late to have an honest conversation. Have you ever held back from expressing your true feelings, only to realize later that talking things through was the key? Share your thoughts on this journey toward clarity and connection below!