[Update] I [38F] think my marriage to my husband [42M] is over. I need help.

A Reddit user (38F) shared an update about her marriage to her husband (42M). After asking for a separation, they amicably transitioned to co-parenting and found happiness apart. While not the outcome she originally hoped for, it turned out to be the best decision for everyone involved. Read her reflective update below.

‘ [Update] I [38F] think my marriage to my husband [42M] is over. I need help.’

About a month after I posted, I asked him for a separation. He agreed. I moved out and I’ve got my own place now. I thought maybe moving out would be the wake up call that was needed to save the marriage, but it wasn’t. However, it turned out to be the best thing for all of us.

We share custody of our children, and they transitioned to public school and are doing very, very well. I’m doing pretty well, too. It’s been hard – and there have been a lot of ups and downs, but it’s been worth it.

We’re all so much happier now, and my ex and I are working really well together to co-parent our kids and we’re even friends. We’ll always be there for each other, but we’re better off apart. Not the happy ending that I was hoping for, but a happy ending nonetheless.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

SpooogeMcDuck −  Good for you. Happy endings are when people are happy, not necessarily staying together. Edit- Thanks for the gold anonymous benefactor!

mtweiner −  Speaking as a child of divorce: Happy single parents are better parents together than miserable married ones. I’m glad it turned out that the difficult choice was the right one for your family. Best of luck.

booksnpaint −  After reading your original post, I’m proud to hear that you made your stand and stood your ground. Many don’t. Here’s to you and to the world of possibilities you’ve opened up for yourself. Well done, ma’am. Well done.

kmbbt −  sometimes what you hope for isn’t always the best case scenario. i’m glad you’re doing well and i’m glad that it ended up all okay.

stinkyfootss −  Emotional abuse is definitely a thing. Someone who loves you should never be threatened by newfound confidence and empowerment. You’ve gotten through the hardest part, and now you can continue to do what has lifted you up recently, with no backlash from home. You are so strong!

SayWhut247 −  I read your previous post before commenting. I’m sorry things didn’t pan out as you hoped. But I’m glad that you and him both are at a better place emotionally now. He refused counselling and didn’t want you to be able to fend for yourself. Major ego issues.

You saved your kids from resenting their father fully. My folks tear into each other over the most minor of things. My mother has given up so much for us and he never appreciated it. We’re all grown. They are still together. We talk to him and have a relationship.

But we all on some level resent how he treats our mother. We all hope we never end up with people like him or become him. I wish you strength, inner peace, and happiness to brighten your days. You are an amazing person like my mother you sacrificed and did what was best. I hope he gets help for how he views things and works on himself at least for the sake of his own mental health if not anything else.

photoguy8008 −  Did you finish nursing school?

[Reddit User] −  I’m sorry, but I’m happy for you non the less. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us things… it can be super hard to know what that lesson is, i hope your happiness continues to blossom

HeartOfJacks −  At least you and your former husband are still friends. I can’t really say anything to console you, but I really don’t think it’s necessary. It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot better since it happened, and I’m happy that you’re doing better since the initial breakup.

tealparadise −  Just went back to read your first post… Hard to fathom that he couldn’t handle something so common as a wife who works/is active. How can he rationalize such a n**ty trait?

Sometimes, the hardest decisions lead to the greatest peace. Have you ever found happiness in an unexpected resolution? Share your thoughts or similar experiences below.