I (24m) don’t want to come off as weird to my apparent guardian angel (40m)

A Reddit user shares a deeply personal story about the profound impact a barber has had on his life. After struggling with a lack of direction and purpose, the user was guided by this man to become a barber, providing invaluable support both personally and professionally.

Now, having completed barber school and found success in the profession, the user wants to express his gratitude but fears coming off as too intense or uncomfortable. Read the original story below to learn how this “guardian angel” changed his life.

‘ I (24m) don’t want to come off as weird to my apparent guardian angel (40m)?’

Most of my life after high school has been me skipping from job to job, either because of my inability to perform the job, laziness, or just plain rudeness on my part. This probably all has a lot to do with a lack of a good relationship with my father.

I have struggled, even in childhood, to find anything I’m passionate about. Often when I try something new I will get really excited about it and then be done with it after a week or two. This pattern has lead to severe depression, and terrible relationships in most parts of my life.

I have a few friends who are close and supportive, but they are so keenly aware of how untrustworthy I am, just because I change my mind about who I am, and what I believe so often. About a year and a half ago, I went to get my haircut at a barbershop near my house.

I had recently become miserable in my latest endeavor: teaching music. I had never met the barber, and he had never met me, but he asked me a few questions, and I grudgingly answered. He stopped cutting my hair, looked me in the eye and said. “You just need to be a barber.”

I laughed, and he reiterated, “No, I’m serious, there’s a school right down the street. You need to be a barber.” Flash foward a year and a half. I’ve graduated barber school, and I have a job cutting hair. I’ve never been more excited or passionate about anything in my life (aside from getting married).

The process of getting to this point has been insanely difficult, but also extraordinarily fulfilling. I’ve never felt this way. It’s like no matter how much life sucks, I always have comfort in knowing that I am on a road to becoming a better barber.

To put it simply: this is the first time I’ve stuck with ANYTHING for more than 8 months, and I feel like I’m just scratching the surface!
During every step of the process of becoming a barber, this man has been like a guardian angel.

He not only directed me to the school, but somehow got my tuition rate lowered by speaking with the school owner without my knowledge. He encouraged me every time I felt unsure or afraid, and let me stand next to him for hours on in at his shop and taught me everything I didn’t get to learn at school.

Tricks of the trade, and his special secrets that he’s learned over the years. My wife (I know unbelievable that I’m married given my background right?) was ready to divorce me, and break up with me, but this man AND HIS WIFE counseled us, and helped us make it through the year of barber school.

As the icing on the cake, he secured a job for me, cutting right next to him, at his brothers barbershop. This is just a sampling of the pure graciousness this person has shown me. Every time I’m around him, I want to express to him how thankful I am, and how I want to make him proud. It’s like he’s the father I never had.

But for some reason, I’m afraid that he will be put off if I thank him? I’m not sure what it is. I feel like I owe this man everything that I care about. If it weren’t for him I’d be working in Macdonalds, single, and probably suicidal. (no hate for McDonalds workers, it’s just not for me).

I just want to show him that his grace has NOT been taken for granted. I want to make him proud. I know this is probably really l**e for this sub, but… it’s so hard for me to wrap my head around how to repay him, or thank him without coming off as weird.

He has a son of his own, and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable by making him feel like \*I\* look at him like a father figure? I don’t know if that’s wrong or not. Any advice is welcome…. please!.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

jessie_monster −  You’ve explained it really well here. Have you thought about writing him a note just like this and giving it to him with a bottle of wine/booze, if he drinks.

You might feel more comfortable with that extra step of separation instead of telling him verbally. I doubt that someone that has gone above and beyond like he has will interpret this as weird on your part.

[Reddit User] −  You could write a letter to him expressing everything you’ve just described in this post. That’s usually what I do when I want to express my feelings to the people I love the most. I think letters are sincere and expressive because they usually contain a lot of thought.

Writing a letter sounds cliché or effortless, but I assure you, someone like your guardian angel, someone whose helped you for years and encouraged you while expecting nothing in return, would be deeply moved by how grateful you are, even if you express it through something as simple as a letter.

(I saw writing a letter as a suggestion in the comments, but I wanted to express to you how much a letter could mean, especially if you pour your heart and soul out in it.)

buffal0gal −  Expressing gratitude is a skill like any other. You have had a pretty rough go of it until recently, so you probably haven’t had much practice telling people in your life how much they mean to you.

Don’t feel self-conscious. Just show your mentor this post or write him a heart-to-heart letter. He will treasure your words, no matter how awkward you may think they are.

eloise___no_u −  This story is lovely. I can guarantee he is already incredibly proud of you. You seem like a naturally humble and grateful person.

And ‘Today you, tomorrow me’- there will probably be a time when the opportunity naturally comes when he himself will need your help. Better yet, pay it forward! Look out for someone to mentor/ a charity or scholarship fund to donate to?

LeverandFulcrum −  To be honest I think you should show him or tell him everything that you just wrote here. This man obviously saw some really great potential in you, and you’ve been proven him right every single day since.

this was what he was hoping to see: you becoming the best version of you, so I think you should give him a heartfelt thank you, maybe a gift if that’s the type of relationship you guys have, and just continue killing it at life. I believe if he gets to watch you thrive and become better every day that’s the best gift you can give him

librarylady1980 −  This is such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing. I was a high school teacher for many years. The “gifts” from my former students that mean the most to me, that I still have and look at, are the letters in which they tell me I made a positive impact in their lives. I cherish those letters.

So, as many others suggested here, I also suggest you write this man a heartfelt letter. Be vulnerable and tell him exactly what’s in your heart. It will mean so much to him. This man sounds like someone who was put on earth to do exactly what he did for you.

And he probably doesn’t even need any thanks, it sounds like it is just who is…gracious and kind and loving…but telling him what you feel will be a wonderful gift to him and will help you on this journey you’ve undertaken to improve yourself.

Also, you might want to think about paying it forward…be open to another young man who needs a guardian angel. Be that angel for someone else like this man was/is for you. That would make him incredibly proud of you.

CharlesIngalls47 −  Giving a compliment or gratitude can be awkward when you’re not used to giving it. I was like you 5 years ago where I went from job to job and my attitude was the cause of it all. Then I changed the energy i was putting out into the world. Stopped hating everyone and started looking for positives.

Then I started telling people about those positives and let me tell you the response I have received is amazing. I used to look forward to confrontation because my ego used to be huge and I would love the chance to put someone else down.

Now whenever I see someone do something that deserves praise its like I wanna burst until I give them the compliment. My suggestion to you is be real. Tell him where you would be without him,

soecifically highlight the things he has done for you and the effect they have had and then just literally day “thank you” this dude will have so much pride in not only you but himself that there will be absolutely 0 awkwardness. Just love.

weezerluva369 −  Just a thought: have you seen a psychiatrist about ADHD? Your difficulty in getting and staying motivated, getting hyperfocused for a short time on a new subject and then losing interest, are all common presentations of ADHD.

_galen −  probably the cutest s**t i’ve ever read on reddit. you go, man! you go and have a happy life!

SuperlativeLTD −  I thought this story was going to be a lot more sinister. You are showing your gratitude by thriving under his guidance- he can tell you are thankful but you can show it in small ways- food for his family, bringing him a coffee, a thoughtful birthday gift, helping if he moves house etc.

Do you think the user’s desire to show gratitude is a reflection of genuine appreciation, or is he overthinking how to express it? How would you go about thanking someone who played such a pivotal role in your life? Share your thoughts below!