AITAH for refusing to pay for my stepdaughter’s wedding because I wasn’t invited?

A Reddit user shares their dilemma after discovering they weren’t invited to their stepdaughter Emma’s wedding—despite having agreed to contribute $25,000 to the event. Emma explained that inviting her stepfather might cause “confusion” since her biological dad would be walking her down the aisle, and his family wouldn’t be comfortable.

Feeling hurt and unwelcome, the user decided to withdraw financial support, sparking outrage from both Emma and their wife. They now wonder if they’re wrong for tying their support to being included in the celebration. Read the full story below…

‘ AITAH for refusing to pay for my stepdaughter’s wedding because I wasn’t invited?’

So, I (47M) married my wife (45F) five years ago. She has a daughter, Emma (24F), from her previous marriage. I’ve always tried to treat Emma well—helped her through college, co-signed her first car, and just generally been there for her.

Emma got engaged recently, and my wife and I had been discussing helping pay for her wedding. We agreed to contribute about $25,000, which is a pretty significant amount for us. Everything seemed fine until the invitations went out last week, and I realized I wasn’t invited.

When I asked Emma about it, she said since her biological dad is walking her down the aisle, she didn’t want to “create confusion” by having me there. Apparently, her dad and his side of the family wouldn’t be comfortable with me attending.

I told her it’s her wedding, and she has the right to invite whoever she wants, but if I’m not welcome, then she can’t expect me to help pay for it. Now my wife is furious, saying I’m ruining Emma’s big day and being petty. Emma is upset too, saying I’m putting “conditions” on my support and love for her. I don’t think I’m wrong here, but now everyone is acting like I’m some kind of monster for standing my ground.. AITAH?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

ThePhilV −  Emma sounds like a self entitled little b**t, and she’s trying to manipulate you by using emotional, pseudo-therapy speak on you. Telling you that you’re “putting “conditions” on my support and love for her”? No, she waited until she confirmed that you would pay for her wedding, and then decided that other people matter more. There is NO world in which anyone would be “confused” by her stepfather being there. Ugh, you’re NTA at all, but your wife’s reaction would have me, personally, reconsidering the entire relationship.

beansnchicken −  How much is the biological dad paying? You wouldn’t want to “create confusion” by taking over his role of paying for his daughter’s wedding.

TopAd7154 −  I’ve read this before…

Dued19871a −  NTA. Supporting someone financially, especially with such a significant amount, naturally comes with expectations of being included in the event. It’s completely reasonable to feel hurt and reconsider your financial contribution when you find out you’re not invited to the wedding. It’s not about putting conditions on your support but rather about mutual respect and appreciation.

If your presence at the wedding is seen as problematic, it’s fair to reassess your involvement in other aspects, like funding it. It’s important to have a clear conversation with both your stepdaughter and your wife about how this decision makes you feel and to discuss the boundaries and implications of financial support under these circumstances.

MikeReddit74 −  NTA. Since her “real” dad is playing the role of father of the bride, he can assume all the responsibilities that come with it, including footing the bill. That said, she’s telling you exactly what she thinks of you, and what role you have in her life: her ATM.

Any-Expression2246 −  That’s the most BS excuse. If she wants a wedding with her biological parents and exclude you, then she can get them also to pay for it.. NTA.

Popular_Stranger373 −  NTA. Asking for 25,000 then saying your not allowed to come is crazy, have her bio dad pay for it.

ChloeeBreeze −  You’re absolutely not the a**hole here.. It’s her wedding so she can invite who she wants. But it’s wild to expect u to drop $25k on an event you’re not even welcome at.. that’s not putting conditions on love..that’s basic respect.. ur wife should be backing u on this instead of enabling such a hurtful and entitled move.. stick to ur boundaries this isn’t petty about fairness.

Pixoholic −  $25000 is a lot of money to drop on a party you weren’t even invited to. If the thought of having that money taken away isn’t enough for them to rethink their plans and reconsider then that tells you all you need to know about your relationship.. NTA.

sabolaw123 −  NTA, honestly. Been there myself, and it’s rough. Stand your ground—you’re not an ATM.