UPDATE: AITAH for refusing to let my sister adopt my baby after she called me “unfit” for being a single mom?

Wow, I didn’t expect this much attention, but thank you to everyone who weighed in — even those who disagreed. A lot has happened since my original post, so here’s the update. First, please read my original post: https://aita.pics/KaQpH

‘ UPDATE: AITAH for refusing to let my sister adopt my baby after she called me “unfit” for being a single mom?’

After I kicked my sister out, she ramped up the drama. She started posting cryptic messages on social media about “selfish people” and “babies in the wrong hands.” Then, she went full tilt, outright claiming that I was neglecting my son and that CPS should step in. She didn’t tag me, but everyone in our circle knew who she was talking about.

I was furious but also scared, so I started documenting everything: texts, social media posts, and anything she said to other family members. I also spoke to a lawyer to make sure my rights were secure and to prepare for any crazy moves on her part.

Then came the final straw. She showed up at my house unannounced with her husband, claiming they just wanted to “talk.” I refused to let them in, and my sister yelled through the door, “You’re ruining this baby’s life!” Her husband tried to guilt me, saying, “We’d give him a better future, and you know it.” I told them to leave or I’d call the police.

After that, I decided to go low contact with her and anyone who sided with her. My parents initially tried to mediate, but when I showed them all the messages and screenshots, they finally backed me up. Now, they’re furious with my sister, especially since she’s still spreading lies about me.

I also reached out to CPS preemptively to let them know about the situation, just in case she tried anything. They assured me there was no issue as long as my baby was safe and well cared for — which he absolutely is.
As of now, I’ve cut my sister out of my life completely. She’s still telling anyone who will listen that I’m “selfish” and “ruining her life,” but I’m done engaging. My focus is on my son, who’s happy, healthy, and exactly where he belongs.

Thanks again for the support — it gave me the confidence to stand my ground. For anyone else dealing with entitled family members, trust your instincts and protect your peace.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Due-Yoghurt4916 −  Move forward with a restraining order.  This is not done.

I_wanna_be_anemone −  No child should be subjected to that kind of unhinged, delusional and selfish behaviour. I guarantee she has a ‘perfect’ life planned out for her future baby (no matter who she has to rip the child from) and will emotionally/mentally abuse them for daring to deviate from her picture perfect parenthood fantasy. 

That woman isn’t safe. Her enabling husband feeding her delusion only makes her more dangerous. Congrats on taking defensive measures, keep documenting, hold her accountable when she continues to escalate. Understand that every milestone (first holiday, first birthday, first everything) is going to be a trigger for this woman

If you’re able to, set up a second social media account that’s set exclusively to private if you really need to post anything to your friends/family regarding baby. Make sure sister has no access to that account, ever. Pre-emptively block her. Keep your primary account active to monitor her slander as evidence she’s been consistent in her harassment (or continuing to escalate). 

Get door cameras in case she shows up again. Triple check if you’re using baby cams to ensure no one else can access the live video feed. Change your WiFi password in case you ever have your sister access to your network (because a lot of baby monitoring things these days connect via the home WiFi). If sister has ever had access to your house keys, change the locks. It may seem paranoid and over the top, but if you get it all done now then you’ll have peace of mind, with no fear of any regrets should she try something. Good luck.

Consistent-Primary41 −  You need a lawyer, stat. You need to sue her for defamation of character for the slanderous/libelous behaviour, and you need the guidance of an attorney to get an emergency RO against her.
The longer she’s allowed to explore this delusion, the more empowered she will be to harm you or your child. She needs to face IMMEDIATE consequences before this gains any momentum.

Quiet-Hamster6509 −  Unfortunately for you, you may have to advise your parents that this child cannot be in their care for any length of time if they’re even considering letting your sister visit/see him. They may go behind your back because “they feel sad for her”. While they’re on your team now, down the track, they may waiver. Stand firm, you’re being an amazing mother.

AffectionateCable793 −  Continue keeping track of her unhinged behaviour. If she ever tries to adopt, reach out to CPS again and raise your concerns about her being an unfit parent and possible manipulation of the birth mother to try to get a child.

magiemaddi −  Well maybe there’s a good reason the universe won’t give her a baby. She’s unstable and unfit to raise a child if this is how she behaves.. Sue for defamation.. Still NTA.

kikivee612 −  I was mortified when I read your post! I was in your sister’s shoes, and even though I was struggling from my own emotions, never once did I ever tell another pregnant woman that they were unfit. Never once did I ever think about trying to pressure anyone into giving me their baby!

Infertility is no one’s fault. It just happens and trust me, it’s debilitating at times, but that’s what therapy is for. There are so many options out there for people who want a child. The thing is that until she gets help with her mental health, SHE is absolutely unfit to be a mother. No one would let her adopt or foster a child.

You made the right call by cutting her out. She had the opportunity to be an amazing aunt to your child, but she permanently screwed that up with her own actions. She is not a safe person to be around your baby or any baby, for that matter.

Please protect yourself by getting cameras. Next time ste shows up, just call the police. Don’t give her the chance to leave, just call them. Don’t block her because you need to save any and all attempts to contact you. You never know if you’ll need to get an official No Contact Order. Congrats on your little squish! You will do an amazing job! Don’t let her get into your head. You got this!

nerd_is_a_verb −  You should make a SM post asking people to pray for your sister’s deteriorating mental health and letting everyone know she may be at risk of harming herself and others. Also post a copy of the restraining order you get against her and let everyone know they are not allowed to contact you or your family on the sister’s behalf.

aquavenatus −  I’m going to reiterate what I said in your initial post. Your sister and her husband will take you to court over their behavior. I’m glad you started the process of protecting yourself and your son, but this isn’t over yet!

Please draw up your guardianship and make it clear that you don’t want your child ANYWHERE NEAR THEM! And, contact the police so they have a file on what your sister and your BIL are trying to do! This way, god forbid they do try something, the police won’t hesitate to act. I’m sorry for imposing this way, but I’m afraid things will continue to escalate.. UpdateMe!

VioletBlisssy −  Honestly u handled this like a boss.. ur sister crossed so many lines and the way u documented everything and got ahead of any CPS drama was smart as hell .. she’s showing her true colours by spreading lies instil respecting ur boundaries.. ur son is lucky to have a mom who’s putting him first.. keep focusing on him and ur peace and let her keep screaming into the void.