AITAH for refusing to pay for my wife’s “emergency” surgery because she spent our savings on her friend’s boob job?

A Reddit user shares a heated conflict with his wife after discovering she secretly used their savings to fund her best friend’s cosmetic surgery. Now, when an urgent (but non-life-threatening) medical bill for his wife arises, the user refuses to dip into the remaining savings and suggests she ask her friend for help. This has led to backlash from her family, with accusations of him being heartless. He’s left wondering if his decision was fair or overly harsh. Read the full story below…

‘ AITAH for refusing to pay for my wife’s “emergency” surgery because she spent our savings on her friend’s boob job?’

My (34M) wife (32F) and I have been married for 7 years. We’re generally good with money, but we’ve been saving for a long-overdue home renovation. Last month, I found out that my wife secretly loaned $10,000 of our savings to her best friend for a boob job.

She didn’t tell me until after it was done, saying it was a “gift of kindness” and that I’d understand because her friend was depressed. I was furious but let it slide because the money was technically still in the family account, and I figured we’d rebuild.

Fast forward to last week, my wife had a medical issue requiring immediate surgery. It wasn’t life-threatening, but the doctor said it needed to be addressed quickly. When the bill came, she assumed we’d pay out of our savings, but I told her I wasn’t using the rest of the account for this since she had already decided what that money was for. I suggested she ask her best friend to help with the bill. She called me heartless and said I was being petty and punishing her over something unrelated.

Her family is furious with me, saying I’m prioritizing a renovation over her health. I told them they’re free to pitch in, but I’m standing my ground. She’s staying with her mom now, and I’m starting to question if I’m being cruel here.. Like AITAH?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Turbo_Homewood −  It doesn’t sound like your wife is “generally good with money” at all.

lirudegurl33 −  NTA. Had a coworker recently divorce his wife for some similar dumb s**t. I would never in a million years loan a friend that much money without consulting my partner. If anything your wife is the AH and let her pay her own medical bill.

beansnchicken −  NTA. Saying it was a “gift of kindness”. Is it a loan or a gift? Is this woman going to be paying you back that $10,000 or not?

lookingformiles −  NTA. Also, your marriage is over.

LillithHeiwa −  ESH. I would be furious if my husband gave, or loaned, $10k without speaking to me. How the f*ck that makes it where your wife’s health isn’t a marital concern is beyond me.

Glum-Bet-9895 −  She gave away 10k without consulting you? She might aswell have robbed you. This is grounds for divorce.

crazymastiff −  B**lshit.

EvaaJadie −  You’re not definitely wrong for being mad especially since she took that money without discussing it with u .. but her surgery is a health issue and it sounds like a really tough situation to navigate I get why she might see it as a betrayal but she should’ve thought about the long term consequences before spending that money.. maybe both of u need to sit down and r really talk about money and boundaries before it gets worse it’s not about the surgery or the renovation it’s about trust.

jiminak46 −  Get a divorce. Sell the house. Use the renovation fund on penis enlargement surgery. Send the ex-wife photos. Out.

YvyLyn −  I get why ur mad cuz $10k isn’t small change and she made a big decision without u .. but holding back on her surgery feels extreme even if it wasn’t life threatening.. that’s her health and yeah she fked up .. but marriage is about handling those mistakes together.. maybe talk about how to rebuild trust instead of letting this blow up everything.. otherwise this feels more like punishment than a solution.