Update – is it worth it to try to work things our with my boyfriend, ho is jealous of my stepbrother?

A Reddit user (21F) updated her story about navigating her boyfriend’s (BF) jealousy over her close bond with her stepbrother (SB). After trying to communicate and set boundaries, her BF’s accusations and demands escalated, ultimately leading her to end the relationship. While the breakup was painful, she feels a sense of relief and stands firm in her decision. Read the full update below.

‘ Update – is it worth it to try to work things our with my boyfriend, ho is jealous of my stepbrother?’

After I posted, I took some time to read the comments and form a plan. I texted BF, telling him essentially that I needed a bit of space to take a breather and reevaluate. I made it clear that I didn’t want to break up, but felt like I was always being monitored and I wanted to make a game plan to have healthy communication through this pandemic.

He called me super upset and accused me of choosing SB over him. I told him that it wasn’t about SB, it’s not like I chose SB, he’s literally just someone I get along with who I can hang out with during the pandemic.

I explained to him that it was not like I was spending every waking moment with him, I do my homework in the morning, we hang out in the afternoon, and my evening time is divided between the 4 of us (mom, stepdad, SB) and FaceTiming BF.

BF then accused me of doing special, “boyfriend” activities with SB. He told me that it was always his dream to teach me to drive (he doesn’t even have his permit. Am I supposed to wait around for him to get it?). Also apparently me teaching SB how to bake bread?

Which is stupid because I was going to make the bread to begin with, and SB “helped” by moving the heavy mixer, eating half the almond slices, and taking pictures for Instagram. He also screamed at me for not moving in, saying how all this would have been prevented if we were living together.

I told him that I have no interest in living somewhere that I’m not allowed to be. I can’t afford a fine from bylaw, and if I were to get kicked out, it would be more difficult to find my way home since I don’t drive.

In the end, I told BF that I would not give up my relationship with SB, who is part of my family and a genuinely nice guy, to ease my BFs insecurities and cater to his demands. I told BF that I needed time to cool down, and that I’d talk to him in a few days.

That was all on Friday, and today I reached out to see how he was. He was still pissed at me and accusatory, so I basically told him that this wasn’t working and I want to break up.

I did it over text and then blocked him, which probably makes me an a**hole, but I literally couldn’t deal with anymore of him yelling at me and insulting my family. Anyway thanks to everyone who commented. I’m really sad this is the outcome and I’ve been crying a lot, but I’m also kind of relieved.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Antichrust −  Good call. Your gut led you on this one. This sort of behavior would have found its way to something else, if you chose to dismiss it.. Sounds like some real LDE, though.

yepitskate −  Omg this is AWESOME. Good for you girl. It’s such a burden dealing with someone who is jealous and insecure. It’s refreshing when you don’t deal with them anymore

PotatothePotato −  Awesome job! You definitely made the right move here. It might be hard but he has sooo much growing up to do if he EVER wants to be in a relationship. And I just mean in general, I’m definitely not advocating you wait around for him. You deserve better!

cpx284 −  The fact that he screamed at you is a huge red flag. I would have serious reservations in moving forward with this boy. He feels threatened by your family for no apparent reason and him being possessive and wanting you to move in is a classic controller move.

[Reddit User] −  You are NOT an a**hole. You needed to protect yourself from the incoming onslaught of abuse and guilt trip he was going to throw your way and you did the right thing. Things would have only escalated if you kept in touch with him or worse if you did it in person. I’m sorry things are grim right now but thankfully life goes on and you will find someone who loves and respects you.

EvanWasHere −  Lolol.. his dream was to teach you to drive… But he doesn’t know how to drive himself.. Total and compete wackado

e_vil_ginger −  Sounds like the silver lining to this whole quarantine, it saved you a lot of time and emotional investment.

ham_tornado −  Good for you OP! This guy’s got some control issues, does he for real think you can only bake bread with him because it’s a “boyfriend” activity? What about making eggs? Too brunchy/morning after for him? G**damn, you couldn’t exist around your family if he had his way

TeeTeeRarr −  Congrats! Celebrate! You dodged a missile. Your ex bf is a toxic a**sive n**cissist! The fact that he wanted you to break the law to move in with him is INSANE! This pandemic exposed who he really was. Be thankful.

If he acted this way over your *family*, he would have accused you of sneaking around and having o\*rgies with his roommates. His tantrums might have turned physical. For your sake, I hope he remains an ex. ETA: you’re not an a**hole for breaking up via text. He’s a**sive and left you no choice. You did good.

CatastropheWife −  So glad you got out, this is the kind of guy who gets mad at his wife for breastfeeding the baby. Total c**ep.

Have you ever faced jealousy or insecurity in a relationship? How did you handle it? What advice would you give to someone in a similar situation? Share your thoughts or experiences!