I (28F) found out my husband (29M) has been telling his coworkers that I’m his sister. What do I do? Please help!

A woman (28F) is shocked to discover that her husband (29M) has been telling his coworkers that she is his sister, not his wife. After several unsettling encounters with his colleagues, she realizes this is not a one-time misunderstanding and feels compelled to confront him.

Unsure of how to approach the conversation, she seeks advice on how to handle this bizarre and hurtful situation while preserving her marriage.

‘ I (28F) found out my husband (29M) has been telling his coworkers that I’m his sister. What do I do? Please help! ‘

My husband (I’ll call him Josh) and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4, and we don’t have kids. We have a really healthy and communicative relationship, we’re both pretty easy-going and I really love him.

He started working at a large accounting firm about 3 years ago, and from what he tells me he loves it there. He’s made a lot of friends through his job and he goes out with them for drinks and social events quite often, and I’ve been totally okay with that.

I’m quite introverted so I’ve never been interested in meeting his colleagues or work friends, nor have I asked to. I’ve got my own circle of friends and I’m fine with us having separate friend groups.

After what happened yesterday it only just occurred to me that he has never actually asked me if I’d like to meet any of them, or go to one of his work events, I guess that’s important context. Anyway, I’ll start with what happened a few months ago, that I had brushed off until now.

I was at a bar with some friends for a couple of Friday after-work drinks, and a guy approached me (he was there with some friends, too). He looked slightly familiar but I hadn’t met him before. He seemed friendly enough, and he asked me, “\[My name\], right?”

I think I must have just given him a confused look, because he followed up with, “I’m Jake, I work with Josh.” I realised that I recognised him from some photos on my husband’s phone (I don’t use social media except for a private Instagram,

so I’m not sure if he posted the photos anywhere – but we’ve got a very trusting relationship so I look in his photos sometimes – don’t hate me). This is where it gets a bit embarrassing. I’m a bit socially awkward and so I struggled to end the conversation,

but he just kept talking at me, I guess he was already a couple of beers deep. But while he was talking, he said something like, “It’s great that you guys are still so close. I haven’t talked to my brother in ages.” At the time I was like, huh? But I just assumed he was drunk and not making sense, so I ignored it.

He started to get a little flirty so I turned to my friends and we left shortly after that. I didn’t say anything to them about it and it didn’t seem like a big deal to me. I also decided not to tell my husband that I had met his coworker Jake.

Not to hide it, but because I figured the guy wouldn’t even remember talking to me, and I didn’t want to make it awkward for Josh at work by telling him his colleague tried to hit on me. I just thought no harm no foul.

But, yesterday morning, I was out walking our dog, Monty (he’s a cross between a few breeds and has very unique markings – this matters I promise) and was on my way to my regular cafe, which is in town. I was waiting in line to order, and the guy in front was an older man.

He got his coffee and turned around, but stopped and looked at my dog and goes, “Hello Monty!!!” Monty was super excited to see him, apparently, and so I guessed that the guy was another colleague of Josh’s, because Josh brings the dog to the office a couple of times a week.

I thought it was sweet, to be honest, so I smiled at him and said hi. He introduced himself (I guessed correctly that he was a colleague), but then he said something like, “aren’t you a good sister, walking his dog for him!”

I was so confused that I didn’t even know how to react at first, so I stumbled on my words and just said “it’s my dog.” I regret it but I genuinely couldn’t bring myself to correct him and say that I’m Josh’s wife and not his sister.

It was just too awkward, and I just wanted to leave because I think was suddenly dawning on me what might have been going on. He asked me something about “sharing a dog” but I was able to escape the conversation by being next in line to order my coffee, and he left.

I seriously don’t know what to do, because what the f**k????? Do I even ask my husband about this? Part of me is just assuming or hoping that it’s a mistake, that he doesn’t talk about me much at work and they assume we are related because we both have brown hair (???).

But the thought that he has been telling his coworkers that I’m his sister (and evidently they have seen what I look like, so they must have seen photos) makes my stomach churn. I don’t even know how I would broach the subject with him. I need some help – what would you guys do in this situation?

I have only told one friend what happened because it’s so weird and embarrassing, and she has jumped straight to “time to plot his downfall” (because she’s my ride-or-die, love her), but I don’t want to immediately assume the worst or ruin my marriage over something that could be nothing.

I’m sorry for the long and rambly post, but I would REALLY appreciate any and all advice!!

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

DocSternau −  Walk up to him and ask directly: “Why are you telling your colleagues that I am your sister?!” Sorry but this is nothing where you beat around the bush.

Subspaceisgoodspace −  I think you are underreacting here. There is literally no good reason he has told all his coworkers you are his sister. I am so sorry. You could choose for ask him why or you could just leave.

stuckinnowhereville −  So he’s either having an affair at work or keeping his options open. Neither good.

Piilootus −  You need to surprise him in front of his coworkers, give him the kiss of a lifetime and say you have the best brother ever. No but for real you need to sit him down and tell him you know he’s telling people you’re his sister and what the f**k is that about.

DevotedRed −  Does he not wear a wedding ring to work? Why does he need to hide the fact he’s married? Sorry OP, but this would send me into a tailspin. Find out as much as you can before confronting him.

Specific_Alps554 −  I’d be making a surprise lunch visit where I make sure to let everyone know “I’m jake’s WIFE. It’s so great to meet everyone.” and then seriously reconsider if this is the marriage you want. The marriage you’re proud of. He said it for a reason and it was so play single bachelor. You deserve better.

sourdough_s8n −  I couldn’t get through this post tbh but girl STAND UP. No self respecting husband that has such a good relationship (like you say) would be calling you his sister. Theres at least an emotional affair happening or he and all these coworkers like to go play single together.

You have two options: “Why the f**k do these people think I’m your sister?” Privately in your home. Or Go out with them, meet them, sit on your husbands lap, hold his hand, kiss him often! Tell everyone you two still sleep in the same bed after all these years and watch him try and crawl out of his lie in real time

WinterFront1431 −  I’d surprise him at work and give him a big romantic kiss in front of everyone. Then tell him not to bother coming home. Two reason he is saying what he is saying, and neither is good. He’s embarrassed to be with you or he is acting the single man and cheating.

Either way, I’d embarrass him at work with a nice kiss and tell everyone you’re his soon to be ex-wife. As you no long want to be married to your brother.

Fabulous-Possible-76 −  You should connect with the poster from last week whose husband was telling his coworkers her sister was his wife

chrisvai −  The fact that over the past 3 years, he has worked with these people everyday, hangs outside of work with them, they know your dog but they *DON’T* know you are his wife is a flaming red flag for me. 3 years and they believe you are his sister. 3 years of conversations where your so-called “husband” has never corrected them.

So it makes me wonder. What are they doing during these “hang outs”? The fact that one of his colleagues tried to hit on you because he thought you were your husband’s sister is *wild*. OP don’t go easy on this man, I would be FUMING if this was my partner.. The sheer audacity.