My (20F) boyfriend (21M) didn’t listen during s** and wouldn’t let me go home. Why would he act so weird?

A 20-year-old woman recounts a troubling experience with her boyfriend (21M) during intimacy. When she asked him to stop due to pain, he ignored her request, later minimizing her feelings and blaming her for not being clearer.

Afterward, she felt hurt and began crying, which seemed to alarm him. He apologized and insisted she stay overnight, even asking her to stay the next day, leaving her confused about his behavior. Her friend suggested he might be worried about being reported, but she struggles to make sense of his actions.

‘ My (20F) boyfriend (21M) didn’t listen during s** and wouldn’t let me go home. Why would he act so weird ?’

We were in the act of being intimate and it started to get painful randomly so I asked him to hold on for a second and he kept going. I asked again and he said he’s almost done and wait. I got upset after because the situation made me feel weird.

I told him I was annoyed and he said it wasn’t that big of a deal because it wasn’t a long time and if it really bothered me I should have made it more clear to him instead of complaining about it after. His reaction made me feel miserable to be honest.

It felt like a slap in the face. I started crying because I just felt hurt. I think I shocked him because I don’t cry often and he tried to comfort me and said sorry. After a while he said he was starting to feel scared and I asked him why and he said because I was crying.

He asked me to spend the night so I did and the next day he said he wanted me to stay again, he didn’t want me to leave or go home. I told my best friend the whole situation and that he didn’t want me to leave and she said he might have been scared I’d report him for a**ault?

I wouldn’t even do that, this sounds insane and kind of far fetched. But why else would he not want me to leave? I asked him and he just said he missed me.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

commonman54 −  That’s SA. The moment you said stop and he didn’t he was violating you. You have complete autonomy over your body, not him. Who cares if he’s “almost done”. He has no respect for you.

keldawgz −  I had an ex do this. I said stop increasingly louder and finally used my hands to push him away. He got offended and proceeded to say matter-of-factly that I was “making him feel like a rapist”. It sounds like your bf and my ex have a lot in common.

ClubGlittering6362 −  I should have made it more clear to him You did. You told him to stop. It doesn’t get more clear than that.

LawPrestigious2789 −  So you asking him to stop is revoking your consent to what is going on, he didn’t stop, he violated you, in essence, even if it was for 10 seconds, those were 10 seconds of rap*.

He saw how much it hurt you, that he betrayed you, so now he’s flipping the script and making YOU feel bad for HIM, it’s a manipulation tactic, he wants his “fear” to outweigh his betrayal, you’re with a m**ipulative boyfriend and should go home and take some space away from him

1adyCr0w −  OP this is s**ual a**ault. Use the coffee analogy. You can say yes to a coffee and decide not to drink it. You can start drinking a coffee and decide you don’t like it so you stop. No one is allowed to force you to finish the coffee… no one should be forced to drink ing you to continue s** if you’ve said stop.

aninternetsuser −  this sounds insane and kind of far fetched It’s not. I’m sorry OP, but he did assult you. The minute you withdrew consent and he continued it became rape. There is no excuse for this. You need to speak to your friends and anyone trusted to help you with this.

What he did was disrespectful, hurtful and in that moment he put his own pleasure over any concern for your physical or mental wellbeing. There’s lots of reasons he may have wanted you to stay. It could’ve been an attempt to patch up the bad thing he did with good things.

That is a common abuse tactic and exactly why a lot of abuse victims stay. I’m really sorry, but given this I think you need to find your support system and seriously reconsider your relationship. These events are never one offs

Maleficent-Bottle674 −  He was scared you’d report him. You can still report him. Make sure to look up recording laws and get him on record stating you told him no two e and he chose to continue both times. he said it wasn’t that big of a deal because it wasn’t a long time.

Unfortunately this is a common mindset among men which is why they don’t see SA as a big deal. They’re go to mindset is she’s lying, she enjoyed it but regretted it, or it’s not that serious for a man life to be ruined. Remember men will have more empathy for a man who went on a date and didn’t get laid and they will for a woman who was SAed.

metsgirl289 −  So you can’t report him for a**ault and have an exam done in time.

Previous-Sea-9660 −  Yeah he SA you and he was scared you was going to report him.

Eyupmeduck1989 −  This is rape. You withdrew consent and he continued. It is a big deal