I M27 am unsure if I’m making the right decision with my gf F26?

A Reddit user (27m) is questioning whether to stay with his girlfriend (26f) of 3.5 years. Despite their healthy relationship, her loyalty, and how well they get along, he feels uncertain about their future due to differences in communication style, habits, and values. While their issues are not dramatic, they’ve left him doubting his long-term compatibility with her. To delve into his dilemma, read the full story below.

‘ I M27 am unsure if I’m making the right decision with my gf F26?’

We’ve been together for 3 1/2 years but breaking up with her is something that I’ve thought about for months already. What makes this such a hard decision is the fact that this relationship has been healthy and she’s an amazing girl.

Pros: we never fight, s** is great, she’s loyal, she’s a kind person, my family likes her

Cons: she’s judgmental of some of my interests, she has a TikTok level attention span (can’t have a conversation without her texting or watching a video 15 seconds in and forgetting what I said), unhealthy eating habits (diabetic family), she’s very messy, our religious beliefs do not align, and I don’t like her family.

Now although my list of cons is longer, I know they carry less weight than loyalty, s**, or how we handle disagreements, which are on my list of pros. She does make me happy but I no longer see myself marrying her.

I’ve only seen couples break up because of arguments, infidelity, or long distance so being in a relationship where my issues might be very small to many people, I don’t know if I’m making the right decision. I’d be more than glad to clarify any pros or cons in more depth.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

sewerpsydoll −  What have you done to try to address the issues before thinking about breaking up?

whoredoerves −  I would break up for the fact your religious beliefs don’t align. That’s pretty important

taphin33 −  If you’re spending months thinking you should end it, then you should. Relationships aren’t about what’s good on paper. They’re about your feelings. If she was someone you should spend the rest of your life with or commit to in a major way. You wouldn’t be spending your free time thinking about ending it. They say “when you know you know” which also applies “if you don’t know then you don’t know”.

RealityHurts923 −  “She does make me happy”. You have more cons than pros and you don’t want to marry her and you come on reddit making a post about it. Bro, she does NOT make you happy. People who are happy don’t post in the relationship subreddit.

vivinozt10x10 −  I’ve been there, man. If you’re not feeling it, trust your gut and move on.

redflagsmoothie −  The religious beliefs is a big thing. If you don’t align in that way, you’re going to have some problems down the line (sounds like you already have?) I am not religious and would never be involved with someone who is, since I know there would be nothing but issues in that department.

Flaying_Mangos −  It sounds like you should have a super honest conversation with her. It’ll be super uncomfortable, but you need to tell her what’s been on your mind. You love her, and there are so many good things about your relationship that you enjoy, however, you no longer see yourself marrying her bc of xyz. It’s not fair of either of you to continue wasting time in a relationship that isn’t going to progress if y’all don’t want to.

She deserves to be in the loop, and you also deserve to move forward with your life if that’s what y’all decide. At this point, you’ve been thinking about it long enough that it’s not an impulsive decision

L0veConnects −  What looks good to society and what feels good to you are very different. Society also has conditioned us to believe we need to find the one partner that will outshine all others, we need to stay with that partner unless something horrible happens.

None of that is reality. You don’t sound like you are in love with her or those cons – would be secondary to how much you love her. Staying in a relationship where you aren’t happy isn’t fair to either of you. A relationship isn’t a failure if you learn a lesson from it.

Complete_Hat6078 −  Bad relationships don’t always come with a bunch of drama, cheating, abuse or anything like that. It can also just be this lingering feeling like this place you’re in is not your home. Having doubts is normal, once in a while as a fleeting feeling, but if it’s consistent it’s maybe not meant to be.

kreatorofchaos −  Hey man, sometimes relationships reach their peak and that’s okay. She could indeed be an amazing person but for someone else. I wouldn’t ever try to change anyone but acknowledging unhealthy habits and being unwilling to change is over the line imo.

Do you honestly think she’d be willing to change her bad habits on her own accord? Also when you say she’s judgmental of your interests, what kind of interests are they? Is it out of spite bc you dislike hers or just disinterest from her own pov? Also have you addressed these issues with her directly ?

Have you ever faced a situation where love and compatibility didn’t align? Do you think the Redditor should focus on improving communication and resolving smaller issues, or is it better to walk away when marriage no longer feels right? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!