Caught my girlfriend (42F) making out with another woman—how do I move on?

A 43-year-old man is grappling with the emotional aftermath of seeing his girlfriend, 42/F, passionately making out with another woman during a night out. Despite being in a monogamous relationship, she claims she thought he had given his consent earlier in the evening.

The incident has left him devastated, questioning their relationship and his own adequacy. While she is remorseful and acknowledges the pain she caused, he struggles to move past the image and the feelings of betrayal, even though he loves her deeply and wants to work things out.

‘ Caught my girlfriend (42F) making out with another woman—how do I move on?’

Apparently she asked me if it was ok but I didn’t hear her or tell her it was ok. She made out with the girl in front of other people at the bar first and then went into a back room to continue making out with her (where I walked in on them). We are in a monogamous relationship and she means everything to me.

I am devastated and it kills me to replay the vision in my head of her being passionate with someone else. She has always said that I am everything she’s ever wanted and is obsessed with me. I’m now questioning if there is something that she is not getting from me.

I really love her more than anyone I have ever loved and she says that she feels the same way. Our relationship has been really great and we communicate and love and care for each other.

How can I get over seeing her being passionate with someone else and stop second guessing myself over what she is not getting from me so we can continue to be together?

Just to give some context, we have spoken about it at length over the past few days and she is filled with remorse and regret and understands that she would feel exactly the same way if it were the other way around.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

WishAdept −  You are in a monogamous relationship. She (your girlfriend) is not.

grneyedguy1 −  Personally, I’d treat it the same as if you saw her making out with a guy. Maybe you can try some couples counseling, but for me it would be over.

ThrowRA1234568 −  Here’s the wild part, she did that while you were in the vicinity. Imagine what she does when you’re not around.

[Reddit User] −  I’ve been drunk, and I’ve never felt the urge to cheat or make out with someone else when I’m in love with my bf.. You’re monogamous. She is not.

Friendly-Quiet387 −  Well, your GF just put you on notice that she is not monogamous and is at the least bi-curious. She also let you know that she has zero respect for you and the relationship. If these are deal breakers for you then kick the relationship to the curb.

Flaky_Two1872 −  Cheating is cheating, she’s not the “one”dude.

personguy −  My ex wife did this at a party in our own home. Made out with another woman in front of others. I never got over it. It was cheating and humiliating.
You decide what level of cheating you can forgive.

Aggravating_Pop2101 −  You don’t get over it. Move on immediately.

notplanter −  Why do you want to get over her cheating?

gonnagetcancelled −  Cheating is cheating. Sorry man.