Gf said that I am downgrade to her life but loves to spend time with me.
A Reddit user (24M) is struggling with his girlfriend (22F) who, despite expressing love for him and enjoying their time together, has told him that she feels he is a downgrade to her life. She feels unappreciated, crying about how she doesn’t feel special and deserving of more.
While he feels he is making an effort to show his love by balancing work and time with her. The user is confused and hurt by her mixed signals, especially when she also appears to enjoy her time out clubbing with friends. Read the original story below for more details on their ongoing emotional struggles.
‘ Gf said that I am downgrade to her life but loves to spend time with me.’
GF (22 F) and I (24 M) are in relationship for 1 and half year. We are in sort of LDR, 2 hours ride apart, but we see eachother almost every weekend. She came to my house 2 days ago, and she looked very sad and even cried. I asked her why is she crying.
She said that she thinks I am downgrade to her life because we spend our time mostly in the house. I said to her that in last 2 months we went 5 times to different trips to other countries. But then she said that I am acting weird, she doesnt feel special with me.
I said to her that I am working a lot, and I make space in my schedule just to see her, working 10 days in row just to make space, and make more money that we can go on different dates… I am the one who comes to her more then she comes to me.
She then cried and said she deserves better. 2 hours later she hugs me and kisses me but I didnt know what to do, I was stuned and dissapointed in her. Similar thing happened 2 weeks ago and prior to that 2-3 times.
In between she can be very nice but more often than not she cries in front of me and acts depressed. She goes out in the club with her friends 2 times in a week, and I know that she is very happy when she is out in the clubs.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Marlowe_Eldridge − Lol. She’s going to leave you as soon as she finds her upgrade.
Dzov − 5 international trips in 2 months. “We never get out of the house!”
gendouk − She’s either playing games trying to get you to ‘step up’ and do more things for her or she’s already looking for your replacement and is feeling guilty about it. Neither is a good look. Either way, *you* are the one who deserves better.
Oznewbie − F**k that noise man.. Total disrespect. Rarley I say this, as I think most things can be worked on, but get out 👋
decaturbob − – so why are you keeping this person around? Nothing healthy about this at all. – end it and move on to some one who is actually deserving of you as she is a BIG NO on that
UnusualPotato1515 − Nothing will be good enough for this person, so d**p this ungrateful b**t & tell her to get her upgrade. I bet you she will cone running back when she realises its not as easy to find someone who puts in as much effort as you do.
Particular_Sock_2864 − This woman sounds like trouble. Saying she doesn’t feel special with you is hard to hear I guess but honestly her saying she deserves better must be a kick in the nuts.
From what I’ve read I’m leaning towards you deserve better. Now I don’t know fully what’s going on there but it sure sounds like you try a lot and d**p a lot of money onto a person that’s ungrateful, entitled, arrogant, m**ipulative and disrespectful.. Uhm… find someone else.
MollyRolls − Sounds as though she enjoys looking for a partner more than actually having one. And she’s not exactly bringing joy and sunshine to *your* life so, like, at this point what are we even doing here?
tmchd − It doesn’t sound good, OP. You’re kind of a ‘placeholder,’ someone to have around until the next one (an upgrade, possibly) shows up. This is not good at all. Is it worth trying? Not at this point, she already believed you’re not a ‘plus’ to her life. She’s ‘on the way out’ right now, for real.
Blue-eagle-23 − Nope, stop wasting your time and money on her. She is using you for the money you can spend on her. Time for you to upgrade to a nice person because she is clearly the downgrade.
In relationships, balancing effort and expectations can be tricky, especially when emotional needs are mismatched. Do you think this relationship can work through these emotional challenges, or is it a sign of deeper issues? How would you navigate a partner’s conflicting behavior? Share your thoughts below!