My fiance ‘25M’ agreed to give his ex girlfriend another baby after I ‘23F’ said absolutely not. How can I forgive him for something so insane?

A Reddit user shared a heartbreaking situation where her fiancé, despite previously agreeing with her not to donate sperm to his ex-girlfriend, went behind her back and told his ex he would help her and her new fiancée have a child.

The user is devastated after discovering the conversation, which happened while they were on a break. Though her fiancé apologized and promised to change his mind, the user is struggling with how to move forward. To read the full story and see all the details, check it out below.

‘ My fiance ‘25M’ agreed to give his ex girlfriend another baby after I ‘23F’ said absolutely not. How can I forgive him for something so insane?’

My fiance (25 male) has an ex girlfriend that he has a 4 year old child with. His ex girlfriend is now a lesbian and engaged to a women, living in a city 7 hours away together with that child.

They called us over FaceTime 2 weeks ago and asked us the ridiculous question if we would be comfortable if my fiance (her ex boyfriend) would be comfortable donating his sperm to them so his ex and her new female fiance could have a baby together and it would be related to the child.

I’m obviously so uncomfortable with that an couldn’t believe they even asked that question an we respectfully declined. I told my fiance all the reasons I was uncomfortable with it and we agreed that it wasn’t going to happen. Fast forward to the past few days.

My fiancé and I have been fighting a lot and have decided to take a break. While we were on the break. One day after I left he called his ex girlfriend and told her he was willing to donate his sperm so they could have a baby behind my back.

He calls me the next day after their conversation (today) while we’re still on our break and tells me he said he told her he’s willing. I freaked out and told him we are officially over and he’s ruined everything.

And he said it was a mistake and he’ll call her and tell her he’s changed his mind and he’s not going to do it cause he doesn’t want to lose me over this. I just feel like the damage is done and I don’t know how to feel anymore. How can I forgive him for something so insane?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Much-Vanilla-7261 −  How can I forgive him for something so insane? I mean do you *need* to forgive him? The instinct to d**p him for good is the right one actually.

njx6 −  You are engaged and already taking a break. What more do you need?

deejayeggs −  you said it yourself, the damage is done. there’s someone out there for you who will respect your feelings, he is not that person.

Dont139 −  Why should you forgive him? He either did it to hurt you, or because he is really comfortable and willing. You took a break. Breaks in relationship are rarely anything else than pre-break ups. All the things that are wrong in your relationships won’t even be worked out, and you have to top it all off with? That’s too much. You deserve better than that. Leave him be in his drama

nintendoinnuendo −  Ignoring everything else, having to “go on a break” is not something you should ever be doing with someone you’re engaged to.. Just break up.

NYCStoryteller −  It’s not crazy to use a known sperm donor, or to want your children to be full biological siblings. It is a little bit messy for people to use a known sperm donor who is also the legal biological father of the elder child, but there are known sperm donor forms that can be filed to legally protect him from having to pay child support for the second child.

It would definitely not be okay if he actually had s** with her when she was ovulating vs doing an IUI or IVF. But it sounds like they would just be asking for his donor sperm.

But the worst thing he did here was to offer to do it when you were fighting with each other, knowing that for you, you weren’t okay with it. It’s reasonable to not be okay with your partner continuing to donate sperm, particularly to someone that’s an ex.

kimmysharma −  What the hell is he thinking? If his ex gets pregnant by anyone else her second child would be blood related to the first child. Why would he do this?

Pale-Cress −  He did this behind your back if he’s willing to do this what else is he willing to do. Ask yourself that

ItsAllKrebs −  If your relationship is going so badly that you guys “take a break” WHILE engaged? This is not a relationship worth being in.

FortuneWhereThoutBe −  So was he always going to sneak behind your back and give them a sperm donation, or did he agree to do it to spite you? And the massive flip-flopping to try and keep you , just wow. Either way, it’s unforgivable

Do you think the fiancé’s actions were irredeemable, or can trust be rebuilt after such a betrayal? How would you deal with a situation where your partner goes behind your back after agreeing on important matters? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!