My boyfriend (20M) found me (20F) asleep in my twin brother’s bed. How do I talk to him about this?

A 20-year-old woman is concerned about a situation where her boyfriend found her asleep in her twin brother’s room. She and her brother have a close relationship, often spending time together when they can, and following a tradition of watching his games and wearing his jerseys.

However, the boyfriend’s reaction has been distant since the incident, and the woman is unsure how to approach the situation and explain herself.

‘ My boyfriend (20M) found me (20F) asleep in my twin brother’s bed. How do I talk to him about this?’

So I (20F) have a twin brother who is a professional athlete. We used to play the same sport together until I aged into the girls division. He officially moved out of our parents house when we were 18 But when we were 16 he moved to Finland for his sports career, so I only got to see him for a few months in the summer.

I still live at home with my parents. We were always pretty close growing up and we talk as much as our schedules allow. Somewhat important note: I wear my brother’s old hand-me-down sweaters as my ‘comfy clothes’. My boyfriend knows this and has never said anything to make me think that he finds it weird.

Sometimes when I miss my brother and I can’t talk to him I’ll hangout in his room. I usually play video games on his old Xbox or read. 2 days ago I was watching one of his games on the tv in his room, and I fell asleep.

My brother and I have a superstition that we always stick to, every time I watch one of his games I wear one of his jerseys and he does the same for me. This time was no different. My boyfriend decided to come over to my house to surprise me and take me out on a lunch break.

Because I was asleep, my younger brother (18M) answered the door and told him where I was. According to my brother he brought my boyfriend to my brother’s room where I was asleep. My boyfriend asked him why I was there, and my brother told him “she hangs out here a lot.”

My boyfriend left and my brother woke me up and told me what happened. Since then I have been texting with my boyfriend, and he’s been distant. He keeps telling me he’s not feeling well and that’s why I can’t come over.

He hasn’t mentioned anything about what happened but I know he’s upset. I don’t know how to bring up the topic of conversation with him. How do I talk t him about this?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

House71 −  As long as your names aren’t Jamie and Cersei it should be fine.

NeedleworkerIll2167 −  Reading the title I didn’t think you were alone in his bed. I don’t see what the big deal is. Your bf is being weird.

divorcedbp −  “I have a problem with the fact that my girlfriend has a healthy, positive, close relationship with her twin brother, and clearly loves him very much” said absolutely no well-adjusted mature man, ever.

nowhereright −  I mean maybe he’s really not just not feeling well and s**t at communicating? Otherwise it means he’s uncomfortable with your closeness and attachment to your brother – which unfortunately would mean he’s probably jumping to some absurd Lannister-ish conclusions.

People get weird about twins man. Thanks pop culture/porn. Anyway. All you can do is just say it plainly. Hey you’ve been distant and it seems like you’re upset with me, can we talk about what’s bothering you? If he denies it or avoids the conversation then there’s not much you can do beyond badgering him about it which probably won’t help.

GameboyPATH −  “Hey, I feel like conversations have been awkward between us, lately. You mentioned that you’re not feeling well, but you won’t give me any further detail, and I’m worried if there’s other issues on your mind. Is there a time for us to meet up and talk sometime soon?”

BeltalowdaOPA22 −  Talk to him about what? You didn’t do anything wrong, and your boyfriend is being ridiculous. There is nothing wrong about being close to a sibling, particularly with twins. If your boyfriend thinks that you are having an incestuous relationship with your brother, he is probably not a guy you want to be dating.

No_Ad_770 −  Am I the only one who noticed that boyfriend has done nothing to confirm that he’s bothered? There’s a lot of inferring that he’s distant because of this one scenario. He said he’s not feeling well, maybe it’s as simple as that.

Greg554 −  Does he really think you want your brother? Seems immature to me..

steelergyrl30 −  I have an identical twin sister. No one will ever understand the bond that you have with your twin. Let him make excuses that he’s sick. He’s too immature to have a conversation with you. I would move on and find someone else.

sweetdudesweet −  I’m sorry I couldn’t make it through your whole post because I couldn’t stop wondering what the point was to create a throw away account to post such a specific story? Like he’s gonna read this and be like “Huh, that’s crazy that some other guy found his gf sleeping in her twin brother’s bed too!!!”

How would you handle a situation like this? Should she reassure her boyfriend about her close relationship with her brother, or is there something more she should address? Share your thoughts on navigating relationships and misunderstandings!