Caught Between Love and Betrayal: Navigating Forgiveness After an Affair

A 29-year-old woman recently discovered that her husband, whom she has been married to for four years, cheated on her two years ago. The affair resulted in a child, but her husband has no contact with the child and ended the affair once the woman became pregnant.

Though her husband has expressed regret and remains a loving partner and father, the woman is struggling with anger and uncertainty about forgiveness, especially since the woman involved still works with him. She’s left wondering how to proceed in their relationship.

‘ Caught Between Love and Betrayal: Navigating Forgiveness After an Affair’

I (29F) just found out that my husband (32M) cheated on me two years ago, which resulted in a child. We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 4. He admitted to the affair a month ago, which lasted around six months and was with a coworker.

When she became pregnant, he told her he didn’t want to be involved in the child’s life, and he hasn’t had any contact with the child since. He still works with her, though.

At the time, I noticed a shift in his behavior, but I chalked it up to work stress. Since then, he’s been loving, attentive, and a great father to our 4.5-year-old son. I know he regrets it and is genuinely remorseful, but I’m so angry and hurt. I love him, but I don’t know how to move forward. I want to forgive him, but can I?

I’m currently a stay-at-home mom, and the fact that this woman won’t leave the workplace makes me uncomfortable. I’m unsure what the next steps should be. Should I try to forgive him? What now?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Complete-Design5395 −  Genuinely wondering why you’d want to stay with a man that lies, cheats, and disowns his own child? Like… what possible redeeming quality does this guy have? “This woman won’t leave the workplace.”

Wow, this single mother won’t leave her workplace to make your husband and you more comfortable after your husband abandoned his responsibility to his own child? The nerve. /s

Commercial-Net810 −  Why did he confess the affair all of a sudden?

Shelby_the_Turd −  If he regretted it, he certainly took his sweet ass time after the affair. I’m sorry but I couldn’t over look that part since he seemed fine lying to his partner. Absolute scumbag.

RuthlessKittyKat −  How in the world can you trust him anymore?! And he’s a dead beat dad on top of it all?!

Migistat −  There’s a reason he’s coming clean. I wouldn’t be surprised if you find any child support court documents lying around.

ChickenScratchCoffee −  You have self respect and hand him divorce papers, sign up for child support, and get tested for STD’s.

Suitable-Concern-326 −  Get up off the floor and stop acting like a doormat. Get your finances in order and leave this clown.

WinterFront1431 −  Why would you want to be with a man who has absolutely no morals, so cheats on his wife and then abandons a child.. Have more respect for yourself

VitaSpryte −  “This woman won’t leave the workplace and I’m a SAHM, for right now atleast. I want to forgive him, but can I?”   You resent a single mother for keeping her source of income. Why didn’t you expect your husband to find a new employer? 

You don’t mention if your husband pays child support. If you encouraged your husband to emotionally and financially abandon an innocent child, I hope you have the life you deserve.

trilliumsummer −  Find a job. Leave your deadbeat father of a husband. Expect him to be a deadbeat to your child too.

Would you be able to forgive a partner after discovering a betrayal like this, or is it too much to move past? How would you handle a situation where the affair also involves ongoing contact with the other person? Share your thoughts below.