I (26F) found inappropriate photos of my friends on my (26M) phone in a hidden folder lastnight?

A heartbroken woman (26F) discovered a hidden folder on her boyfriend’s (26M) phone containing inappropriate photos and videos of her friends—and even her sister—some of which were taken from her own devices.

The betrayal cuts even deeper because her previous partner did the same, and her boyfriend was aware of how deeply that affected her. Now, she’s left feeling disgusted, questioning everything, and unsure of what to do next.

‘ I (26F) found inappropriate photos of my friends on my (26M) phone in a hidden folder lastnight?’

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years, living together for most of that time. Last night, while setting an alarm on his phone, I stumbled across something that shattered me. I found a hidden folder filled with photos and videos of my friends—screenshots of them in bathing suits,

videos of them dancing and shaking their asses, and even inappropriate pictures of my own sister. Some of these were taken directly from my iPad photo gallery, making it even worse. To say I’m heartbroken would be an understatement.

What makes this even more devastating is that my ex did the exact same thing to me. I broke up with him immediately when I found out, and my current boyfriend knows that story. He knows how much it hurt me, and he still did this behind my back.

The timestamps on these photos make it even more disturbing. Many were saved late at night, between 1 and 5 a.m., while I was asleep in the same apartment. Some were taken just a couple of weeks ago—during a time when we were celebrating his birthday. Knowing he was doing this while I was blissfully unaware makes me feel sick.

I just got back from Christmas shopping for him and his family, and now I feel like a fool. This betrayal has left me questioning everything. I can’t look at my friends or my boyfriend without feeling disgusted. I can’t even begin to understand how someone could do this, especially to someone they claim to love.

Why does this keep happening to me? Why do some men see no issue with violating trust like this? I’m so lost, hurt, and overwhelmed. All I want is for this pain to stop.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Paramore96 −  I think you already know what you need to do in this situation. My guess is if you were going through his phone you already suspected something. It’s time to move on. You deserve better.. Signed, Someone who stayed in a relationship way too long and deserved better.

Champion_Flight −  You’re asking “why do men do this?” but babe, this isn’t a men thing – it’s a c**ep thing. Normall people don’t secretly collect photos of their partner’s friends and family for spank bank material (especialy at 3am while you’re sleeping nearby… like wtf???).

This is beyond a violation – it’s predatory behavior that impacts not just you, but your entire circle of trust (including your SISTER, which is next-level disturbing). The fact that he KNEW about your past trauma with this exact situation and still chose to do it?

That’s not just disrespect, that’s calculated betrayal. The timing sux and those Christmas presents are prob weighing on your mind rn. But you know what’s worse than breaking up before the holidays? Wasting another five years with someone who gets off on violating your trust and your friends’ privacy.

You’ve been down this road before, sis. You know exactly what needs to happen. Every day you stay is another day you enable this behavior. Time to take out the trash… again.

lady_kohaku −  That’s scummy of him. You didn’t deserve that.

Substantial-Ad108 −  Delete the photos and break Up with him but don’t tell him why, he’ll eventually figure it out

Ohmigoshness −  YOUR SISTER? omg. That’s not okay. What a c**ep to know that also and to still do it. No regard to you. It’s worst if he has any minors on it.

Pale-Finish7508 −  Girl i experienced almost the same and i am still struggling. I think i will also create a post bc i was always to afraid to talk about it but he recently broke up WITH ME because i am „sick in my head“

maxxx88999 −  If a girl did that to me I’d just end it and walk away. Better to hurt now than be hurt for years. Sear the wound now. This isn’t future material. My advice.

VivelaVendetta −  I’ll just keep saying it. Ladies, we need to stop telling guys how our exes disrespected us. A lot of these guys aren’t as emotionally mature as we would like. Its like they just see it as proof that our exs didn’t like us, and they wonder why they should.

In some cases, we are giving them ideas of ways they can be disrespectful. From now on, your ex loved you more than the moon and stars. He died saving kittens from a house fire, and he paid your phone bill. Some of us have some pretty traumatizing s**t we feel we need to share. Except we don’t.

Unless there’s a case pending or a guy might actually jump out of the bushes one night or like night terrors. We really don’t. Trust me. You can go through the craziest s**t and still give the most generic pg 13 version of it and still be ok. Or if you feel it’s a safe space, go for it. I don’t know your life.

I’m just saying. You can go ahead and leave the past in the past.

Traditional-Band-723 −  What did he say when you confronted him?

GraceOfTheNorth −  It hasn’t happened twice to you. It’s them. They are more deprived than we can ever imagine.