Husband 30M says I do nothing as a SAHM 29F and I’m not sure what to do?

A stay-at-home mom (29F) finds herself struggling after her husband (30M) dismisses her contributions, claiming she “does nothing all day.” Juggling household responsibilities, part-time work.

And the challenges of parenting a 10-month-old, she’s facing financial stress and emotional strain. Now, she’s seeking advice on how to support herself and her child while navigating this difficult marital dynamic. Read the full story below.

‘ Husband 30M says I do nothing as a SAHM 29F and I’m not sure what to do?’

My husband 30m and I 29F recently got into an argument about money and bills… during that argument he mentioned that I “do nothing all day” as a stay at home mom and that I should get another job (I already work part time). I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me tbh. I was so hurt by this.

All day I do everything but “nothing” all the cooking, cleaning, household management, and I’m a mom of a 10 month old. My minimal free time is spent trying to make money online. I hate our dynamic, but this is it…

he pays the mortgage and I pay everything else (utilities, groceries, my own phone and car insurance, my medical bills from having a baby) and I stopped working after having my son because I couldn’t make enough to cover childcare. My salary and childcare would cancel out.

Until recently I started working for my old boss seasonally, but that’s almost over. But I’ve been living the past 10 months off of my savings, and now it’s gone and I can’t even afford my son’s first Christmas. Truly heartbroken and stressed, I’m just not sure what to do for money as a sahm.

I know it’s my own fault for not having a proper “career” but I’m willing to put in the work however possible. Can anyone give me any options? I can’t rely on family for childcare and can’t really afford much childcare… I have experience in blogging and web design but no degree. I’m on fiverr and LinkedIn… I’m just lost. Someone help 😭 am I screwed?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

trayC-lou −  “I Can’t afford my sons first Christmas”. Girl you sound single not married What the actual fk!!!!! You might as well be single if that’s all that he contributes!

AtmosphereOptimal795 −  Sounds like you take care of the household and pay for more expenses than he does. He only pays the mortgage. You’re stuck with everything else. That’s not even close to fair.

cressidacole −  A very odd financial dynamic. How long did you agree you would be a SAHM and what was your economic plan for that time? Why wouldn’t he also be contributing to childcare? You say he pays the mortgage – is your name on the mortgage and the deed?

barnstablepearl −  No one should ever be a stay at home parent without full access to the money earned by the partner working outside the home. Your post is a great example of why.

You are providing tremendous economic value to the household, enabling him to work, and you’re essentially paying him for the privilege??? No no no. I don’t know how he convinced you to accept this, but it’s time to make some big changes.

OutlandishnessOk790 −  Divorce, child support for childcare, full-time job. If the bills he covers weren’t an issue for you, really what else does this man bring to the table for you?

Kay_369 −  Start doing exactly what he says you do, NOTHING! Besides what you do for your baby & you. He comes home wonders why the house is a mess ask what you did all day, say what you told me I do NOTHING.

He don’t have any clean clothes if he ask why say remember I do nothing. You don’t cook dinner if he ask why say , I am just doing the nothing you claim I do.

HoshiJones −  You are being financially abused. Do you have any family who could help you get away from this a**hole?

Antique-Working6064 −  Stop doing the cooking and cleaning of his stuff. Try to save up your money etc. is this really the man you want to be with for the rest of your life? One that views your work at home as nothing?

Just-Spirit-552 −  I’m confused why you’re “SAHM” but are paying bills? He should be paying for everything if your job is a SAHM and if he can’t afford that then he should be working with you as a team to figure out how to move forward.

Not taking it out on you and accusing you of doing nothing. The audacity of that man to have you as a SAHM but still expect you to pay bills

Quiet_Village_1425 −  Go back to work. Tell your husband he has to pay for daycare.

Being a stay-at-home parent is an often undervalued but demanding role. Do you think her husband’s perspective is rooted in misunderstanding, or is there a deeper issue at play? What advice would you give to someone balancing parenting, financial strain, and marital tension? Share your thoughts below!