Update 2: Girlfriend found out she can’t have kids and is pushing me away

A Reddit user shares a heartbreaking update about his relationship ending after three years. His girlfriend, who struggled with the devastating news of infertility, ultimately decided to move on.

Citing unresolved resentment from their past. Despite his efforts to change and be there for her, he’s left grappling with self-blame and heartbreak. Read the emotional update below.

For those who want to read the previous part: Part 1: https://aita.pics/HBGxE

Part 2: https://aita.pics/mIzsz

‘ Update 2: Girlfriend found out she can’t have kids and is pushing me away?’

This is a sad one guys. I’ve been there every step of the way. What turned from a break due to her not being able to have kids but the decision turned out to be more definite. She resents me. I screwed up a lot during our relationship. I didn’t love her the way she needed to be loved then.

It took the breakup to realize what I lost. And for me to change. To actually be there. But it’s gone now. She resents me too much she went on a date with someone new and told me. We are done now forsure. I’m shook to my core. I know I wasn’t the best boyfriend, but was I the worst.

No, just bad enough for her to resent. I hate myself. I wasn’t there when it mattered which would’ve changed the course of today. I couldn’t get one more chance at all. I know you guys said words to me that I’m so strong for being there for her, but I’m f**king broken right now.

How, can this happen. I have been there everyday since she found out the news. She didn’t want me to call so I didn’t. But I picked up everyone of her calls. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m broken. I don’t know what anything is. The girl who I love more than myself, has broken me.

3 years down the drain, yes I was slow. I didn’t call for 4 months into the relationship. But we started off long distance and I was hesitant. I realized that mistake and corrected it. From that point onwards, my not being able to spend more time, was the main issue.

Which I understand. I should’ve spent more time with her. I should’ve cared more about her then. But she never told me it was that bad. We never fought. I wish I knew all this before.

I love her so much and hope she gets the happiness my love could never give. I’m sorry guys that this isn’t the update you guys wanted. I truly am. This shouldn’t even be posted here but it is. I’m sorry to you all. I’m sorry for myself.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

time_drifter −  I’m going to be blunt. You’re 23, you don’t know the person you will be tomorrow. That isn’t meant as an insult in the slightest. At your age, you are still in the throes of defining the person you will become.

This was not three years down the drain, it was three years of a good relationship that ultimately didn’t work out. I know you may feel alone, but there are hundreds of millions who have been through the same and worse. You’re trying to analyze every little ‘mistake’ you ever made to justify why she broke up with you – **stop**.

You’re seeking an answer that only she knows and you will never get. Even if she told you, chances are it wouldn’t be a rational answer, causing further confusion for you. In life, you can do everything right and still lose. This is the reality of an imperfect system. Stop communicating with her.

Everyday you don’t reach out will make the next day a little bit easier. Contact at this point only serves to hurt you, She has moved on and you’re waiting in the lobby, hoping she shows up – it isn’t happening. If she wants to come back, it will be on her timetable and you have a duty to yourself to not wait on it.

Ultimately, you are 23. If I could turn back the clock, I would. Your twenties are an incredible time period, both socially and physically. You haven’t yet saddle yourself with obligations and can live relatively care free. Men physically peak around 26, so you’re still ascending toward that. There is literally _no better time_ to maximize life.

Don’t worry about her or even a relationship for now. Just live your life and the right woman will walk in at the right time – I promise you that. Head up, eyes on the horizon. Life is hard because the best things are never easy.

Ran0614 −  Sorry internet stranger. I wish you and your ex healing.

duelinglemons −  You’re going to be okay :). It didn’t work out this time, but you will get many more chances. I know it sucks and it hurts, but what you learned is pretty valuable. It’s annoying to hear, but it’s true.

If you can love the wrong person this much, imagine how much you’ll love the right one ❤️. I also felt the world was ending when I was going through a break up, but then I meet someone that made me glad it never worked out with the ones before

ed_lv −  I think you just need to stop blaming yourself. She’s blaming you for something she never communicated to you, and is probably just trying to find any fault in you that would make her feel less guilty.

And, you’re only 23. You’re not even supposed to be thinking about any serious long term relationships at this point anyway. You have your entire life ahead of you, and you need to move on and not put her on a pedestal, or you’ll ruin your future relationships. Just move on, accept that she was not the one for you and start living your life.

Equal-Experience6326 −  It’s a good time to reflect on yourself. Look up Dr. Sarah Hensley tiktok videos. She talks about attachment styles and how they affect our relationships. You might be DA or even FA. This relationship is gone now but it’s up to you if the next one will be the same or different.

decaturbob −  – she broke with you….so now you move on….

Salty-Sprinkles-1562 −  That’s sad. What a weird reason to break up with someone. I’m doing IVF right now, and they can work around almost any problem. She can absolutely carry a baby and be a mom. It may just take awhile to make embryos, or she may need donor eggs.

There are also lifestyle changes and supplements that can improve egg quantity quite a bit. If you guys ever get to the point of trying to make it work, it’s worth exploring your options. But if not, just take it one day at a time. I never feel more alive than when I am thick of a breakup.

Do you think the user’s self-reflection and accountability are steps toward healing, or is he being too hard on himself? How do you think unresolved issues from the past impact relationships during tough times? Share your thoughts below!