My (f19) friend (f19) wants me to get her another birthday present because she didn’t like what i gifted her
A Reddit user shares their frustration after their friend wasn’t satisfied with a birthday gift. Despite putting time and effort into a personalized gift, including her favorite foods and snacks, the friend felt it lacked thoughtfulness and personal touch.
Now, she’s asking for a redo. The Redditor is unsure if they’re overreacting and wants advice on how to handle the situation. Read the original story below…
‘ my (f19) friend (f19) wants me to get her another birthday present because she didn’t like what i gifted her’
For context, my friend’s birthday was last week, and me and my other friend decided to do a joint gift for her. we ended up spending ~$50 each, the gift included a jellycat sushi (one of her favourite foods), along with snacks and energy drinks she likes all colour coded to her favourite colour.
today, almost a week after she received the gift, she messaged my other friend saying she didn’t appreciate the lack of thoughtfulness and personalisation (her words) we put into her gift. she said it felt like a stab in the back since her love language is gift giving and she felt she put more effort into what she gifted us for our birthdays.
i’m a little bit hurt since both me and my other friend aren’t in the financial state to go all out on gifts, and we tried our best to work with what we had. considering the gift was almost $100 all up it feels unappreciative and relatively ungrateful since she looked past the things we did focus on and try to personalise.
i do see how adding snacks to a gift can seem lazy, but we specifically researched food she likes, and in her favourite colour. i went to 5 stores total to purchase specific items for her. even if the gift wasn’t anything crazy, we still took time out of our day to put together the gift, including a cute gift bag and card.
i’m slightly offended she only messaged my other friend and not me as well, i feel a bit cut since she didn’t ask me directly for a redo, but through a relay message. if this was really impacting her then i believe this conversation could’ve happened with both of us present.
is asking for a redo gift too much to ask or am i overreacting?
im upset that she wasn’t happy with what we gave her, but i also dont want her to feel like we dont appreciate her. i dont think i can afford anything else for her, and im also hurt by how she passively called us unthoughtful. i do love her and want her to feel appreciated, but im not sure how to go about this. advice please??
See what others had to share with OP:
shortandproud1028 − Holy crap. This is incredibly incredibly rude of her. I don’t even…
chickpeasaladsammich − Neither of you owe her a new birthday gift, and her “love language” doesn’t mean she gets to ask for new presents whenever she doesn’t like what she’s been given. You can say that you’re sorry you missed the mark and to please give you gift ideas… for next year.
cynzthin − Pfffft. Laugh in her face and find better friends
DiTrastevere − This is so beyond rude and entitled that I’d be asking her sincerely if she’s mentally/emotionally okay. That is, if this is actually out of character and not just a minor escalation of her usual behavior.
morgaina − “We spent almost a hundred dollars on it and put a lot of thought into it. If you’re going to be this n**ty and ungrateful towards people trying their best, maybe we should take a step back from the friendship. And if you hate the gift that much, feel free to give it back so we can use that money for groceries.”
Sabineruns − I would not want to be friends with this person.
anonspace24 − Just laugh and say no
poshill − “So sorry we missed the mark. Feel free to return or exchange the items for something you’d enjoy! Happy birthday!”
alternate_geography − Anyone who says that their love language is gift giving while they’re complaining about a gift they’ve received has lost the plot.
Love languages are a thing from some Christian relationship book, btw. She’s selfish, full stop. She has absolutely no idea how much effort you put in, she just sounds like she wants to brag about whatever she gave you.
Fragrant-Tomatillo19 − Saying that her love language is gifts is incredibly entitled. She also sounds stupid trying to use buzz words to justify her demanding behavior because she isn’t even using the expression correctly.
Saying that giving gifts is her long language means that’s how she personally expresses love to others; not how others express their love for her. I’d call it a good lesson to learn that some people are ingrates and then d**p her as a friend.
Do you think the Reddit user’s gift was thoughtful enough, or was the friend’s request for a redo justified? How would you handle a similar situation where your efforts weren’t appreciated? Share your thoughts below!