AITA for telling my Best friend I don’t wanna watch her kid anymore ?

A Reddit user, 31, shared their dilemma about telling their best friend, who has been like a sister to them, that they no longer want to watch her child. For five years, the Redditor has been caring for the child, but the demands of the job, the strain on their mental health, and the lack of backup support from their friend have taken a toll.

The friend was shocked and hurt by the decision, but the Redditor feels it’s time to prioritize their well-being. Read the full story below to see how this unfolded.

‘ AITA for telling my Best friend I don’t wanna watch her kid anymore ?’

I 31f have been helping watch my nephew since the day he was born. His mother and I have been best friends for over 10 years, at this point she’s more like a sister to me.

When she found out she was pregnant she offered me the position to help her watch her kid, at the time I was living in a s**tty situation and I needed out. In the beginning it was easy, fun most of the time. But little things started to make it harder. She has an autoimmune disease so we all avoid going near her if we have the sniffles.

That means the kiddo as well. If she’s sick I watch him, if he’s sick I still watch him. And if he and I are both sick I still watch him. I’ve been helping for 5 years now, and it’s been a strain on my mental health. She before has offered for me to stop doing this, multiple times but each time I hesitated.

My room is rent free so long as I’m watching the kiddo. She no longer lives in my roommates house, she moved out when she got married. For a short period in time when I wasn’t watching him, my roommate made a few comments about me not watching the kid, and I got scared I would be kicked out.

He reassured me that wouldn’t happen but I still have my fears on it. This past year was especially difficult. My failed relationships, falling out with family members, and the stress of having to watch a kiddo with special needs.

Recently my schedule changed, I’m at her place Sunday night- Thursday night and I go home the following Friday afternoon. I do his home schooling, take care of him, try to help with the house while his parents are at work. I love him with all my heart but.. I couldn’t take it.

He and I are both sick, and I blurted out to my friend I can’t do this anymore. She was shocked, angry, hurt and felt betrayed. She told me she would have never taken the job if I had told her I wanted to quit. She and her husband want to move out of the place they’re renting to get a place of their own.

I do feel terrible for doing this at this time, but I don’t feel it’s solely my fault, during the time I have been taking care my nephew she could have been trying to find back up plans, or other people to help. I feel like she’s put it all on me.

And I do appreciate the faith she has in me to help raise her baby boy, I don’t think it was fair she relied on me as much as she did. I have had to cancel plans, dates, because she needed me. My last relationship ended because she felt bad I had alot on my plate and didn’t want to divide my time. I gave my friend till the end of May or mid June till I want to be done. Basically till he’s done with the school year. AITA for quitting?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

andrew21photo −  NTA.You’ve done so much for your friend and her son for years, and it’s okay to step back when it’s affecting your mental health. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your shoulders, and it’s not fair that she relied so heavily on you without a backup plan.

It’s understandable that she’s upset, but you’ve given her time to adjust and figure things out. You’ve done more than enough, and it’s okay to take care of yourself now.

StAlvis −  INFO. I’ve been helping for 5 years now. My room is rent free so long as I’m watching the kiddo. Have you been doing nothing else but watch this kid, for just a roof over your head, and no proper compensation, for **five years**? Do you have a primary job aside from this?

Quiet_Village_1425 −  Sounds like you’re in indentured servitude. Leave and don’t look back.

Cheddarbaybiskits −  NTA, but YTA to yourself by letting this go on so long. Your ‘friend’ is taking advantage of you and if you’re in the US, you’ve been cheated out of several years of SS work credits. You should have been compensated much more for the services you are providing.

Alwaysorange1234 −  You sound like you are the parent. Remind her he is her child, not yours. And don’t be afraid to take a step back. She may end the friendship, but tbh, she is using and taking advantage of you. Be strong, and put yourself first for a change.

holden4ever −  NTA. “And I do appreciate the faith she has in me to help raise her baby boy,” That’s exactly why she wants you around. She doesn’t have to do it if you are. She’s married now so that job just became his.

starbaby87 −  You’re not being paid enough for all this homeschooling and child care.. NTA.

iDontRememberCorn −  WALLOFTEXTDEARGODWHY?

Gemethyst −  NTA. And she has plenty of time to find a solution.

CarlaQ5 −  Not your responsibility. Move on with your new life, and let her figure out her childcare issues. You’ve been her caregiver far too long and for too little in return.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in stepping away after so many years of responsibility, or should they have kept going out of loyalty to their friend? How would you handle a situation where you feel overwhelmed by a commitment, especially when family is involved? Share your thoughts and let us know how you would have approached this delicate decision!