AITA for telling a guy that his time management was his problem, using his language?

A Reddit user shares an experience at a local supermarket where a fellow customer, frustrated by the understaffed store and a brief wait, began using offensive language toward the staff. When the situation escalated, the Reddit user, feeling emboldened by an older man’s support, responded with insults of her own, mirroring the angry customer’s behavior.

Afterward, her boyfriend expressed concern about the potential risks of escalating the situation. The Reddit user is now questioning whether she was in the wrong for using the same harsh language to put the angry customer in his place. Read the full story below to see what happened!

‘ AITA for telling a guy that his time management was his problem, using his language?’

Yesterday I (late 20s F, if relevant) went to a local supermarket (think convenience store sized) about 10 minutes from where I live to pick up a couple of parcels I’d had delivered there.

It was fairly busy when I went in so it was a few minutes before I got to the counter. It was also clearly understaffed, I saw two staff members dealing with everything which even for a smaller shop is still stressful when it’s busy and there are queues. The frazzled lady behind the register said no problem, but would you mind waiting 5 minutes for my colleague to come over with the scanner, she’s just dealing with a customer first. I say sure because whatever, it’s 5 minutes and I am not in a rush.

The guy behind me in line – Angry Guy – also has stuff to pick up, so he gets the same message. But he kicks off. This shop is f**king stupid, no wonder you’re all on minimum wage if you can’t even read my name, are you this re***ded at home, etc. Vile stuff with expletives. An Older Gent in the queue (bless this guy, honestly) says “You think effing and blinding like this makes you a real man? Shut up and show some respect.”

Angry Guy gets louder and in Older Gent’s face, and says “I have a f**king train to catch in less than 5 minutes and I’m going to miss it because of this f**king re***d who can’t read my name without a f**king scanner?”
At this point I blurt out “Sounds like a you problem!”

Angry Guy whips his head round and I panic, but decide to double down and ask “Why did you choose to pick up a parcel so close to your train time?” He’s quiet for a second so I get bolder (I think this is where the AH behaviour comes in) and say “Is it because you’re too much of a f**king re***d to read the timetable?”

Older Gent starts laughing loudly and Angry Guy starts on me asking me what my problem is. At this point I’m emboldened by Older Gent’s cackling and respond with “Just depressed at the f**king re***dation I’m witnessing today” At this point the cashier arrives with the scanner, I grab my stuff and Angry Guy has gone quieter. Older Gent continues laughing. Cashier looks frazzled still but also vaguely amused by Older Gent, but I can’t be sure.

I told my BF later and his response was that the guy was clearly a tool but fighting slurs with slurs wasn’t the best way to handle the situation, and what if he’d gotten violent and I’d gotten hurt, and what if he verbally abused the cashier even more in frustration after I’d left. Which are valid points that counteract the fact that I felt I’d put this guy in his place and that it felt good at the time. AITA for throwing this guy’s language back in his face to make a point?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Peggy-Wanker −  NTA sometimes you have to wallow in the mud with the p**.

theeed3 −  NTA, fighting fire with fire is always fun.

JuneJuneJune_Bug −  I would say a partial a**hole. Using that slur was unnecessary. Everything else, I agree with. The little s**t deserved it.

nylonvest −  NTA, personally the language doesn’t concern me very much. Angry Guy was being a**sive towards the retail workers and I applaud you for standing up for them.

Over-Appointment-630 −  Lol, I had a good laugh.

Rattkjakkapong −  Then everyone clapped and I was hailed as a hero of the people.

Admirable-Koala-1715 −  NTA! And thank you and the older gent for calling this complete tool of a dude on his obnoxious behavior. Throwing his offensive words back at him doesn’t bother me that much. Maybe it’ll bother him more.

fly1away −  NTA. He got a taste of what it feels like to have that language used on you. Well played.

DrPsychGamer −  I wish we could all agree to do with the wording of “you problem”. It’s awful. It’s not like “your problem” is any longer.. Also, using a slur is gross.

Weekly_Permit5678 −  NTA good for you standing up to that guy. It is your BF comment that stood out to me though.  I’ve had guys say that to me too after me telling stories where I stood up for myself.  It really irks me because they are basically saying you should stay meek and allow disrespect because “you might get hurt.” Like you are not a grown adult who can read a situation on your own and decide for yourself what the risks are and if you are willing to chance it.