AITAH for cutting my whole family off for their childish behaviour?
A Reddit user shares their experience of cutting their family off after they repeatedly disrespected their boundaries and judged a close friend. Despite the user’s clear reasoning for going no-contact.
Their family is upset and insists they should “drop” their boundaries for the sake of the holidays. The user feels more at peace now, but wonders if they’re in the wrong for prioritizing their own well-being over family expectations. Read on to see the full story.
‘ AITAH for cutting my whole family off for their childish behaviour? ‘
I ( 26 f) cut my family off back in January due to their childish behaviour and disrespect. Long story short I was excited to tell them that my friend (25) was pregnant with her first child, ( I had the permission to tell my family and this friend and I have been friends for 15+ years)
Their first reaction was pure judgement on my friend about her capability to raise a child. Asking if she even knows the father ( they have known about this friend and her boyfriend for the last 8 years they just don’t care enough to listen when I tell them anything)
and when I told them they needed to stop judging my friend on this it’s not like we’re 13 we’re adults and she has more than enough people around her to help her raise the baby ( for those wondering she had the baby and he’s a healthy beautiful boy)
I had enough and so did my fiancé so we decided to just say our goodbyes and go home. When walking in the driveway to our car my grandma and mother were talking about how I’m a “ b**ch” and must not be taking my medication anymore ( which is just an anxiety med but they think their for something more )
I had enough and told them I don’t want them at my wedding if their going to judge my friend who is going to be in my bridal party.
My grandma ( 65) started stomping her feet and screaming at me that what I’m doing is childish to grow up, ( WHILE STOMPING HER FEET ) and to have a nice life. I said fine works for me as I’m done with this.
Fast forward to now December almost a year later and I get wind that they’re offended I cut them off. I cut them off for the sake that they can’t ever acknowledge what they do wrong, when they overstep my boundaries and just the overall control.
( EX: when they found out I was getting married I wasn’t allowed to pick the venue neither was mu fiancé they forced us into having it at her house where she can plan everything and how it will look.)
ANYWAYS so much for long story short 💀 their upset that I can’t “ drop “ my choices of going no contact for my own sanity and growth for the holidays. When I have repeatedly told them my feelings why I don’t want contact anymore. AITAH for not wanting to to do what they want me to do and break my no contact for the sake of their feelings?
Also since going no contact we have found out perfect venue 😊 and it feels like I can breath for the first time in my life and not feeling like if I do something for the sake of me I won’t have someone screaming at me bc it doesn’t line up with what they want…
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
theFCCgavemeHPV − NTA protect your peace
Catnipnowayman − NTA I’m glad you got away and are living in a better, more peaceful environment. You don’t need that in your life
Gold-Requirement-948 − NTA you are old enough to make your own decisions and do whatever you think is right, they seem like the type of people who only listen to their own opinions. Red flags there.
Sassy-Peanut − OP your last paragraph explains perfectly why you need to put some distance between yourself and your controling family. This need not be permanent but until they respect you as an adult and accept your boundaries, it will give you some breathing space.
Kiefy-McReefer − Blood doesn’t give you the right to control, abuse, and dismiss someone. Clearly NTA. They s**k and will likely never acknowledge why you aren’t in their lives. Move on, and wipe the idea from your mind.
CalligrapherFair9146 − Nope, you’re NTA. Your family showed major toxic behavior: • Judging your friend’s parenting abilities without cause. • Talking trash behind your back. • Your grandma throwing a literal tantrum • Trying to control your wedding plans. • Dismissing your mental health. • Refusing to respect boundaries
The fact you’re feeling like you can breathe now after going NC speaks volumes. Your mental health and peace matter more than their hurt feelings about facing consequences for their actions.
Stick to your boundaries. Their reaction to being cut off just proves you made the right call. Keep planning your wedding your way. Congrats on finding your perfect venue!
kaedemi011 − Be sure to hire security in case they got wind of the event and decide to ruin it.
BothReading1229 − NTA, OP read that last paragraph again. You Can Breathe, Perfect Venue, Do Something For Yourself without being screamed at? Continue the no contact, in fact block them all and move on. Your life is CLEARLY better and less stressful without your very problematic family.
yakkerswasneverhere − Sounds like the start of a wonderful new chapter in your life. Out with the old and negative, in with the new and beautiful. Good luck with the wedding! 🙂
DevelopmentBetter260 − Stay nc
Do you think the Redditor is in the right for cutting off family members who have repeatedly overstepped boundaries, or should they have made an effort to reconcile for the holidays? How do you handle situations where family doesn’t respect your boundaries? Let us know in the comments!