AITAH for leaving my husband at the mall because he couldn’t stop playing his dumb mobile game?

A 30-year-old woman shared her frustration over a trip to the mall with her 32-year-old husband, who has recently become obsessed with a mobile game. During the outing to pick out a birthday gift for her mom, he couldn’t stop playing his game and ignored her for hours, despite her attempts to check in and keep the day moving.

Eventually, fed up with being ignored, she left him at the mall. When he later returned home, furious and accusing her of abandoning him, she began questioning if her reaction was too extreme. Was she wrong for leaving him there? Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for leaving my husband at the mall because he couldn’t stop playing his dumb mobile game?’

I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind over this, but here’s what happened. My husband (32M) and I (30F) went to the mall last weekend to pick out a birthday gift for my mom. I thought this would be a fun little outing together, but it turned into the most infuriating day of my life.

So, my husband has recently become OBSESSED with this mobile game. I don’t even know what it’s called—something with dragons or castles or whatever—but he’s glued to his phone constantly. He used to roll his eyes at people who played mobile games, and now he’s basically one of those people who can’t look up from their screen for five minutes.

As soon as we got to the mall, he said he needed “a second” to finish his game. I was like, fine, I’ll check out a few stores and come back. Twenty minutes later, I find him exactly where I left him—sitting on a bench, fully immersed in his game, oblivious to the world. I asked if he was ready, and he said, “Just one more match.” No eye contact. No acknowledgment that I was even standing there.

At this point, I was annoyed but trying to stay calm. I told him I’d keep shopping and come back. Another 45 minutes went by, and I texted him to see if he was ready to leave. His response? “Hold on, I’m almost done.” Almost done?! It’s been over an hour!

I walked back to him and—no joke—he was still sitting there, hunched over his phone like some kind of mall gremlin. I told him I was done and ready to leave. He waved me off without even looking up. So, I said, “Alright, I’m leaving,” and I just…left.

Here’s where it gets worse. When I got home, I started feeling bad—like maybe I overreacted. But THREE HOURS later, he storms into the house, furious. Apparently, he had to take two buses to get home because “I stranded him.” He called me “selfish,” “immature,” and said I “humiliated him in public.”

I snapped. I told him he humiliated me by ignoring me all day and acting like a freaking teenager who can’t put his phone down. He said I should’ve just “waited a little longer” and that I “overreacted for no reason.” Oh, and now he’s barely speaking to me, sulking around the house like I committed some kind of unforgivable sin. Was I supposed to just sit on a bench and watch him tap his phone for hours? Am I missing something here? AITAH?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Inevitable_Koala6543 −  You humiliated him in public? What did he do when he found out you were gone? Tell everyone my wife left me stranded because I couldn’t stop playing a game? Please!

Critical_Bar_7339 −  NTA. Maybe he needs therapy for his video game addiction but you’re certainly not obliged to deal with it. He’s learned the consequences of his own actions

Mother_Search3350 −  He FAFO.. Keep leaving him and just not entertaining the BS.  If you have plans and have agreed to leave at a particular time, if he is glued to his phone, get in your car and leave him behind.
If you want to go for a meal and he is glued to his phone, leave him behind and go and enjoy the meal.

If he doesn’t pull his finger out and realize that you won’t be putting up with his dumb addiction, then he will have to live with being left at the mall, not going to family gatherings, outings with friends, school recitals if you have kids. . NTAH.

Dientooltaida1 −  I don’t think you overreacted at all. He ignored you for hours, and you made a choice to leave when he wasn’t being considerate. He should’ve respected your time too.

Orphen_1989 −  NTA. Let me guess, he didn’t call you because his battery ran out? Honestly, he’s a grown man. He can get home from the mall by himself. Not sure how that is humiliating for him? I mean if you started shouting at him to put his phone down like he’s some teenager, now that would be humiliating. And I think that was your only other option. So I think you picked the right option for both of you.

boogiemines −  This really tracks for me as I was the one who became heavily involved in a castles-and-dragons mobile game in a problematic way to the irritation of my partner.

OP, first of all, you are NTA. Your partner is letting his ~interest~ o**ession with the game affect your relationship. Leaving him at the mall should absolutely have been a wake-up call, but that doesn’t seem to have landed for him.
It’s time for a more serious intervention, but this needs to be communication; a serious talk where you explain how his game-playing is affecting you.

This is standard addict-intervention stuff, and you can find better resources than I could write in a quick comment. But I would say take the time to think through what you are going to say, avoid words like “addiction” or “o**ession”, just keep it on how you have been affected by his behaviour. From my own experience, be prepared for:

•  He has spent money on this game. I spent a few thousand dollars over the course of maybe 16 months playing the game. It seems stupid to me now, but this kind of behaviour is totally rationalized in whatever community is attached to this game.
  
•  He may have made genuine friendships with other players, and feels like he can’t let them down by not being there for teammates (depending on how the game works). If this is the case, it may seem silly to you, but it’s helpful if you try to genuinely understand his experience. It doesn’t excuse his actions, but you’ll get a lot more traction if you can deploy some seductive empathy here.

Secure-Cranberry1913 −  Bad bot!

7sensesuk −  NTA, the more you show him you don’t tolerate this the better. Don’t let him win arguments like these. It’s best to tell him that when you are together, he is not to play on his phone, otherwise he can forget quality time with you PERIOD.

Initial-Shop-8863 −  NTA. He didn’t want to be interrupted while he played his game. You didn’t interrupt him. He found his own way home. And score! He could keep playing on the bus. You honored his priority. What’s the problem?

Fabulous-Shallot1413 −  Ok 1- Had he put his game down long enough to get an uber there would have been no bus. Had he put it down long enough to call you and ask where you are, there would have been no problem.

I would ask him- How many times did i ask if you were ready? How many times did I came back to ask you to go? How long is an acceptable time to sit and wait for someone that wont talk to you keep saying one more game? Tell him- Next time I will just grab your phone out of your hand like a child so you dont have to take a bus Had he been a grown up and not a 15 year old little boy he wouldn’t have been left.. This isnt on you.