AITAH for refusing to be with & talk to a guy that was the reason I was bullied in middle school for
A Redditor shared a challenging situation involving their younger brother and his girlfriend. While the brother contributes to household expenses, the girlfriend, who doesn’t work, expects him to cover all her needs.
Now, she wants to move into the Redditor’s home, sparking a heated debate about responsibilities and boundaries. Read the story below to see how it unfolded.
‘ AITAH for refusing to be with & talk to a guy that was the reason I was bullied in middle school for ‘
I’m (2OF) and currently a junior in college. This story starts all the way back in middle school and is honestly childish but please bear with me. When I was in 7th grade (age 12) I was asked out by a guy (Zach) on valentine’s day. Many people had a crush on Zach and I also did. We were in a “relationship” for a month.
He randomly ended up breaking up with me a month later. What affected me wasn’t the break up but rather the relentless b**lying I had to deal. I was called all sorts of names. Made fun of for my curly hair and for the baggy clothes I wore. Told I should just die and that I was worthless. Made fun of on social media as well.
Zach’s friends would share my social media posts and comment about how u**y I was. Zach’s friends would also slap my ass or grab my boobs saying it was for “slap ass friday”. Mind you this all happened because of this “relationship”. Basically how couldn’t I keep someone like him. Prior to this “relationship” | was never bullied.
There were times I refused to go to school because I was SO sick of the b**lying. I also believe it’s the reason why I now have generalized anxiety disorder. While this b**lying happening Zach NEVER defended me. In fact he laughed and found it funny. This continued all the way until High School (9th grade)
In high school I end up applying to a magnet program at a school further away for the sole reason of avoiding him and all his friends. Funny enough I get in and find out that he applied to the same school. Luckily his friends did not. He always tried to interact with me in High School and I would avoid him.
I pretended like he didn’t exist but that didn’t prevent him from messaging me on social media, calling/texting and being friends with my close friends. There was even a point junior year where he told people I was his girl. Senior year he asked me to be one of his three dates to prom and obviously I refused.
I finally end up graduating and decided to go to college in state since the cost didn’t of going out of state didn’t seem worth it to me. I’m rarely on campus though so l have never ran into him. But he’s still friends with my friends and they always tell me he asks about me.
He also told one of my closest friends that I play hard to get and that he we were meant to be high school sweethearts but I was being too difficult. My friends are pushing me to talk to him and they tell me I need to forgive and forget.
I can’t seem to forget the b**lying I had to deal with in middle school even though it was years ago and how he was a large part of it. I’ve told my friends in detail about all this and they say that l’m being dramatic and now I’m left wondering if I’m the one in the wrong.
See what others had to share with OP:
I_wanna_be_anemone − NTA lady you have a stalker. He’s chased you all these years and is still after you. He’s expressing disturbing levels of controlling and delusional behaviour.
He’s trying to isolate you from your own friends. Look up coercive controlling behaviour. He’s doing all this and you’re not even together. Time to look into your options for keeping yourself safe, this has gone on far too long.Â
PiczyLexie − NTA. Protecting your peace isn’t ‘being dramatic’, it’s necessary. You don’t owe anyone your forgiveness, especially not someone who contributed to such a toxic time in your life. Stick to your boundaries!
ProfileElectronic − NTA. You are literally the one that got away. He was supposed to be a catch and he was happy so long as you were miserable after the breakup. He can’t digest the fact that you are academically, professionally and socially successful without him.
He’s going to pursue you either personally or through your friends till the time he breaks the walls you’ve built. Then he’s going to destroy you at all levels. That’s how toxic masculinity works and understand that he’s been raised to think that he’s a big catch – both by his family and his friend circle.
Even your so-called friends are falling for his outward charisma. Just block anyone who advocates for him.. Make a successful life for yourself and get a good partner. There’s nothing that would hurt him more.
Holiday-Sock-4317 − NTA. Just because he likes you doesn’t mean you’re obligated to like him back or even interact with him. He chose to ignore the b**lying that happened when the two of you broke up – even when it was as much about him as much as it was you.
There’s really no need to force some type of relationship (friendship, acquaintance) now. We cross paths with hundreds of strangers on a daily basis, he would not be any different.
Otherwise_Degree_729 − NTA. Dude is creepy af. Why is he following you around and inserting himself in your life. It’s been almost a decade of you saying NO. I think his behaviour could be categorised as stalking.
RafflesiaArnoldii − NTA not even one bit. He is STILL b**lying you by spreading lies about you being together etc. Also, stop being friends with ppl who side with your b**ly, they’re trash.
After the experience of being bullied you might feel like you have to take what you can get/ cant find proper friends that actually behave like friends, but thats not true.
Drop them & go meet some new people. If they harass you on behalf of some c**ep/b**ly, they arent your friends. They are his friends using you for a laughingstock. You deserve better. There are other people on earth.
If he doesnt cut it out and you cant get away from him, you might want to threaten to report him for harassment. Or even go through with it if he persists further. (Though it will probably be better/ less drama heavy if you can just avoud him & his lackeys)
TypicalManagement680 − NTA Those people are not your friends and his incessant need to bother you is concerning.
AegisSpirit − NTA From what you have said he hasn’t seemed to intervene when you were getting……well that is s**ual harrasment with his friends touching you like that. His approaches to you are innapropriate given how he allowed you to be treated, absolutely disgusting behaviour.
Any man who would have a shred of decency and respect would have intervened and protected you. It is unacceptable that you were treated like that. Some young guys especially in groups lack respect for anything outside of their self interest till they learn the hard way, he needs to learn the hard way.
If it helps this is coming from a guy.. I am sorry that happened to you. I think the only communication that should ever be expected from him is a huge apology and even then it goes without saying you should maintain the distance.
I do wonder why your friends are pushing you like that, be careful on who you pick to trust but it is important that your friends understand the impact this has had on you.
I see some have recommended seeking therapy to help, I would agree as it could help you heal to a degree. Obivously decide for yourself, there is wild advice out there in the interwebs and not every solution is perfect.
Dresden_Mouse − Zack is an AH who won’t “peak” beyond middle school, leave that crap behind you
eating_almonds − NTA, and also I would ditch your “friends” trying to ask you to “let go” of relentless b**lying and s**ual harassment. Him and his friends are damn lucky you don’t metoo their asses along with the school that allowed this to happen.
Do you think the Redditor’s stance was reasonable, or should they have been more accommodating to their brother’s girlfriend? How would you handle a similar situation where financial responsibility and personal boundaries collide? Share your thoughts below!