AITAH for texting a guy, that we have the same girlfriend and that she is cheating and lying to each of us?

A Reddit user discovered their girlfriend was maintaining a parallel relationship with another man while traveling for work. Feeling betrayed and angry, they planned to inform the other man about the situation through a text message on Christmas Eve, intending to expose her deception before cutting her out of their life. Read the full story below for all the details.

‘ AITAH for texting a guy, that we have the same girlfriend and that she is cheating and lying to each of us?’

I have a girlfriend since 2021. I found out that she has a parallel relationship with a guy (lets call him Peter) in another country where she frequently travels for work. They are dating, like full on relationship. I found out yesterday and tried to keep my cool not to do anything too quickly.

The suspicion was here for the past couple months, and now it all makes perfect sense. Her strange behaviour, her late night texting, her recent increased need to be alone. I feel betrayed and angry. She has broken my trust and made me seek revenge.

I want Peter to know, that he is involved with a girl, who has another relationship. So my plan is this – I will send Peter a text message (I will get Peter’s number by then)

explaining the situation around the girl we both consider to be loyal, cute and kind-hearted girlfriend and the fact, that she is playing it on both sides. I intend to send the message on Christmas Eve and then block her out of my life. Reddit please. I need some sanity check – AITAH?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Zscalerrguy −  Umm, just do it now. No need to “wait a’ till Christmas. semi NTA – if you do it ASAP not the AH – if you do it as a Christmas present, then yes YTA.

Canadian__Ninja −  It seems appropriate to ruin her Christmas, but by not telling dude as well till the 24th you’re ruining his too. Be a bro, tell him now.

Glinda-The-Witch −  NTA Well, I honestly think Peter has right to know and you probably need to get checked for STDs. If she’s cheating with one guy, they’re probably have been others over the last three years. I would include a few photos of the two of you together. But once you’ve sent out the message, I would just let it go and move on.

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. “She is playing it on both sides.” When she is traveling between the two of you, does her plane have a layover anywhere? If so, there may be a third one out there. To quote Sophia from The Golden Girls: “Girl’s a s**t.”

Ifonliesandjusts −  NTA for texting him but why you trying to ruin Peters Christmas as well? There’s a good chance he has no idea …

Briiiiiiyonce −  NTA but don’t ruin Peter’s holiday by spill in the beans on Christmas. That’s a good way to ruin his entire Christmas and could be a reminder for Christmases to come. Do it now.

Grn_Fey −  I agree with informing Peter. I don’t think the timing you are considering is a healthy response- it is vindictive and I don’t think it will help you find additional peace. I would end your suffering by outing her ASAP

hypervigilante666 −  NTA if you tell Peter, he deserves to know. But don’t wait until Christmas Eve. You might be doing that to ruin your gf’s Christmas, but you will ruin Peter’s too, and he doesn’t deserve that. Imagine making another man feel the way you do now on a day that he thought would be a happy one. Then you would be the a**hole.

enabaahaha −  Yeah maybe team up with Peter and both disappear in the same instant. NTA, good luck!

Reasonable_Tenacity −  NTA. Just be prepared that Peter may already know about you and is ok with the arrangement.

Do you think the Redditor’s decision to inform the other man is a fair way to handle the situation, or does it risk escalating unnecessary drama? How would you approach discovering such betrayal? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!