AITAH For telling my aunts husband she was cheating?

A Reddit user shared a tough situation where they revealed to their aunt’s husband that she had been cheating on him for years. While the husband thanked the user for the honesty, the fallout from the revelation led to strained relationships with family members, including cousins and the aunt.

The user is now questioning whether they made the right decision, especially as the fallout has left them feeling alienated from the family. Read the full story below to understand the complexities of the situation and the user’s dilemma.

‘ AITAH For telling my aunts husband she was cheating?’

I told my aunts husband she was cheating on him, she had been to my knowledge for at least 5 years. All he told me was thank you and that he appreciated it and wanted to make sure I wasn’t lying out of anger towards my aunt. I told him I wasn’t, told him how she told me about it herself and we left it at that.

Then she tried telling him I was lying and that she was going to sue me, until 2 other people confirmed it to him too. Then my aunt tried going around saying he used to physically and emotionally be a**sive towards her and said that me telling him was basically a good thing,

But that she had no proof of him ever doing anything to her so she felt like everyone would think she was lying. I haven’t heard any of this myself, all of this is being relayed back to me by my father because I haven’t talked to my mother since September and my aunt since July.

I have zero desire to do the back and forth with them so I pretty much told my dad whatever happens happens and that all I wanted to do was what I thought was the right thing and tell her husband about the cheating. Now this is where I’m starting to regret it a little.

I’ve never felt like I could trust or be very close to my mother and aunt for a lot of reasons but my cousins I’ve always loved being around and having around my kids especially. But since telling my aunts husband about the cheating I’ve heard little to nothing from them.

Thanksgiving passed, nothing, had invited them over before hand and said they would come some said they couldn’t, no problem. No one showed. My birthday came and not one person told me happy birthday or anything.

I’m currently pregnant and supposed to be having a gender reveal, one of my cousins I made the God mother to my two oldest and now I’m thinking they won’t even come for that. She was supposed to come over to see my new house and to see my kids and never did either.

I reached out to her and she basically said she was staying out of it and that she was tired of the he said she said, I told her I understood but that I haven’t been talking to anyone and didn’t involve the cousins in the slightest and because no one’s been talking to me I haven’t the slightest clue what’s been going on over there.

To add to it my aunt was the caretaker to my grandmother before she passed, all of us where supposed to get urns with her ashes and my kids necklaces, she’s now refusing to give me those.

I really just feel like I shouldn’t have said anything at all, part of me feels better because I know it was wrong to not tell her husband but I just miss my family and feel like I’ve been shunned out because everyone else was okay with keeping it a secret except me..

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Illustrious-Unit-636 −  NTA you did the right thing, unfortunately other people are not doing the right thing, so you are being treated unfairly. I think you are learning something about the real nature of these relatives. Don’t sweat it, focus on being happy.

scarletxquinn −  NTA. You did the right thing, staying silent about the infidelity would likely have been a heavier burden long-term. Their reaction isn’t your fault, and you can’t control their actions.

Set boundaries with your aunt and don’t get pulled into any arguments. If you want to mend things. It’s tough that your family is reacting this way, but it’s not your fault. Focus on your kids and yourself, especially now.

GodwinLakenden −  NTA. That was not your fault at all. Youre being treated like an outcast just because you did the right thing. It’s infuriating that your family is siding with someone who did the wrong thing, and leaving the one who exposed it behind.

EmploymentLeast705 −  Well, what did you think was going to happen? Did you think it would be business as usual? Actions have consequences. You decided to share your information. One assumes you would have thought it through, and we’re willing to accept whatever happened.. All you can do now is move on.

Randa08 −  Nta but you can’t really have thought your relationship with you cousins would not be affected by you involving yourself In their parents marriage?

cgrobin1 −  If these people support your aunt screwing around behind your uncles back, and lying about it for years, they might not be the right influence over your children. Do you have a strong friend network. What about your husband’s side of the family?

MaeSilver909 −  Not sure you should be upset with your cousins. Are your cousins the kids of this aunt and uncle? If so, you blew up their lives/family. This is something they need to work through now.

-whiteroom- −  Unfortunately, in real life, things don’t work out like in the Liz/sugah stories here. People will take the sides of people in the wrong, and sweep it under the table.

The one who speaks out, even in the right, will get ostracized to protect the status quo. This is something to take into account when doing the right thing,  not that you shouldn’t. 

CarterPFly −  The messenger always gets shot. You should have done it anonymously and said nothing to anyone.. Lesson learned I suppose.

_–Marko–_ −  Yes, you shouldn’t. Sometimes it good to mind ur own business

Do you think the user did the right thing by telling the aunt’s husband, or do you feel the consequences of their actions are too much to bear? How would you handle a situation like this, where revealing the truth could come at the cost of family relationships? Share your thoughts below!