My mother doesn’t like me

A Reddit user, a 19-year-old woman, shared the heartbreaking story of how her family, especially her mother and sister, have constantly criticized her for being overweight. Despite her struggles with hypothyroidism and a history of body-shaming comments.

She tried to be content with herself until an incident with her mother left her feeling deeply rejected. The user now faces the painful realization that her mother may never accept her for who she is. Read the full story below to see how she’s handling this emotional challenge.

‘ My mother doesn’t like me ‘

I’m 19 F, and for as long as I can remember, my family has criticized me for being overweight. I’m not denying the truth—I am overweight—but not nearly as obese as they make me out to be. The harshest voices come from my mother and my older sister.

My sister, who has a difficult personality, often gets away with her behavior because of her looks. As for my mother, she’s always worried that boys would never like me. She would say things like, “It’s such a shame. You have a pretty face, but you could be so much prettier if you were thin.”

Hearing this kind of criticism since I was about 8 years old has affected me deeply. I’ve grown up believing that I’m unattractive and that no guy could ever genuinely like me. Even when someone calls me pretty, I can’t believe them. I tell myself, “I’m decent, maybe, but not pretty.”

My mother has always described me as a smart and dutiful daughter—but never the pretty one. To her, my weight overshadows everything else. Recently, I went to the doctor for a routine checkup, only to discover I have hypothyroidism.

Suddenly, everything made sense—my depression, my constant fatigue, and my difficulty losing weight. But this didn’t matter to my family. One day, I was eating a simple spinach lasagna when my sister started screaming at me, saying, “You can’t eat that! You’re not allowed to.”

I was furious. My whole life, they’ve treated me as if I’ve committed some unforgivable sin simply by existing in this body. I snapped back, “Why not? You ate even more than me.” She rolled her eyes and responded, “I’m not fat like you. I’m just trying to care about you.”

That was my breaking point. I told her, “I’m happy with who I am. Why can’t you just accept and love me the way I am?” She looked at me like I had said something utterly outrageous. Later, she told my mom about the incident.

Not long after, my mom saw me eating two eggs for breakfast and called me an “ungrateful b**t” because I didn’t appreciate the salads she sent me, the diets she insisted on, or her supposed efforts to make me “beautiful.” I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said, “Why is it that every time I eat something, you start this conversation and make me feel so sick that I want to throw up?” Her reply cut me to my core: “Because I’m disgusted to look at you.” There it was—the confirmation of everything I had feared. My own mother, the woman who gave birth to me, was disgusted by me.

I nodded silently, stopped eating, and went to my room, where I cried. The irony is that, despite all their criticisms, I’ve often liked myself. I’ve felt comfortable in my own body, even if it didn’t meet their standards. But that day, something changed.

My sister sent me a strict diet plan afterward, and I started following it—not because I wanted to, but because their words had left me feeling h**low. For the past three weeks, I’ve eaten nothing but boiled chicken, vegetables, and eggs. I’ve cut out bread, sweets, and even foods I never indulged in much, like fast food.

I can barely look at food without feeling a knot in my stomach. And yet, losing weight remains a struggle. Still, it isn’t just about the weight. It’s about the realization that my own mother doesn’t love me as much as my siblings—because I’m fat. That’s the thought that haunts me every day.

I work hard—I go to college and hold down a job, contributing all my earnings to the family budget. None of my siblings have done that. I’m carrying more weight, both literally and figuratively, than anyone gives me credit for. But none of it matters. To my mother, I’m not enough, and I’ll never be enough. Because I’m fat.

Check out how the community responded:

Spoedi-Probes −  NTA. Its hard to say but unfortunately your mother doesn’t love you because you are fat, she just doesn’t love you.
She would have some other reason to express her lack of love. Sit your mother down and say that as both her and your sister hate you being fat.

You intend to get thin but in order to do so you need to go to the gym and that is expensive. Therefore your contribution to the family budget will be zero going forward.

Your sister can make up the sshortfall in the budget and as you need special foods to help you get thin, she can pay for those as well. Love youself as you mother and sister doesn’t. Also there are lots of men who love ladies with some meat on their bones.

No_Cod3515 −  NTA – Your mom and sister are straight up toxic and a**sive about your weight. Your body, your rules. Having hypothyroidism makes it extra tough, and they’re being jerks about it. You’re crushing it with college and work. Their behavior shows their issues, not yours. Don’t let them wreck your self-worth. You’re perfect as you are.

Fickle_Toe1724 −  NTA. Your mother and sister are cruel. You need to get away from them. Keep your paycheck for yourself. Save all you can. Mom and sis want you on this diet? They can pay for the food. Save all you can, so you can move out sooner. You should not give your family any of your income. You do not pay people to be cruel to you.

Talk to your doctor about an appropriate diet. Get it in writing. Follow the doctor’s advice. Get away from your mom and sister as soon as you can. This grandma is proud of you. Good luck.

Striking-Package3190 −  This was so tough to read, as someone who has been in the same position, constantly being harassed just for being overweight, I feel your pain and want to let you know you are NEVER the AH.

The problem lies with your mother and sister. It is completly unacceptable to criticize you into losing weight and it sucks that they are getting to you with their b**lying.

I would play it back to them and say they need therapy, because ‘ you’re disgusted by the way they are treating you’ I would definitly stop paying into the family budget, as they don’t deserve your help if they can’t respect you and your boundaries. Shut that sh\*t down immediatly when they start again.

Respect for you for feeling happy with yourself, even if you’re not perfect (in their eyes). It’s very empowering to be OK with who you are and please don’t let anybodies idea of how you’re supposed to live dictate your life! Stay strong and start saving up to move out!

Mccampb −  Please stop the diet – I was you 15 years ago and wish I had someone to tell me this: Extreme diets can cause internal stress leading to chronic pain and/or psychological distress every time you eat.

Don’t put your future self in harms way for these terrible people. Your mom and sisters opinions are crap and you should disregard them as they disregard you.

Temporary_Alfalfa686 −  Nta you are being abused, you need to get out.

cinekat −  NTA. I developed disordered eating due to my mum’s fixation on me having to be stick thin to get a man to love me. Luckily over the years I developed strong friendships, had some therapy and learned through experience that partners don’t kick you out of bed because they can’t use your ribs for xylophones.

You’re fine. Healthy comes in different shapes and sizes. Look out for yourself and take care of yourself, and try to ignore them when they project their own insecurities onto you.

Orsombre −  Move out as soon as you can, and cut ties with them. They are abusing you, and you have enough on your plate between your lack of self-esteem (no thanks to them) and your health issue. You need to try treatments, and find a good therapist to learn to stand for yourself.

Some mothers do not deserve to be mothers, unfortunately yours belong to this group. She is hateful and you do not deserve her abuse and your sister’s cruelty. You being fat is just the pretext they found to justify their a**sive behavior. They are sh1tty people. Please stop helping them, go NC.

NoBigEEE −  Stop eating the diet your sister sent you. Eat a healthy, balanced diet – maybe something you and your doctor agree on. Your mom and sister have warped views of body image and dysfunctional ideas of what makes a good and attractive woman.

You need to spend as little time as possible with them and spend time with people who like you for how you are. Don’t let them warp your view of yourself. Unfortunately, our family can be the ones that hurt us the most.

lovescarats −  Move out and take your income with you. Be well, and find joy.

Do you think the user’s struggle with her family’s harsh expectations is justified, or should she try to see her family’s intentions as caring? How would you approach a similar situation where you feel judged and unsupported by family? Share your thoughts below!