AITHAH for saying my daughter doesn’t owe me grandchildren?

A Reddit user shares how they stood firm in supporting their college-aged daughter’s autonomy, telling their mother that their daughter doesn’t owe anyone grandchildren. The user reflects on their own challenges as a young parent, emphasizing that any future decisions their daughter makes regarding parenthood should be based on what’s best for her, not familial expectations. Their mom accused them of being selfish and discouraging their daughter from having children, sparking family tensions.

‘ AITHAH for saying my daughter doesn’t owe me grandchildren?’

I don’t regret having my daughter although she wasn’t conceived in the best circumstances. Since I was struggling to find a job at twenty-three years old and still living at home. I wanted to put her up for adoption because I wanted her to have better options than I had, my mom cared more about having a grandchild, than what was best for her and for me. So I kept her.

Fast forward, my daughter has graduated and is in college now. My mom made the remark “I can’t wait to be a great-grandma.” A switch went off in my brain and I blurted out “She doesn’t owe me grandchildren and that if she was ever pregnant, I would want her to make the best decision for her and the child.” I was accused of being selfish and hating children.

I was also accused of encouraging my daughter not to have children. Which wasn’t my intention at all. My daughter has never had a boyfriend and always stayed focused on school. If she ever does get pregnant, I would support her in whatever decision she makes and told her that she doesn’t owe me grandchildren. AITAH for not pushing my daughter to do this?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

TyrannasaurusRecked −  NTA. You sound like a good mother and role model.

TaserHawk −  NTA. Your mother is tedious. Our children are not there to breed for us.

123nixon −  Unconditional love is selfless.

MySaltySatisfaction −  You are a more supportive mom to your daughter than your mom was to you. Thank you.

CrabbiestAsp −  NTA. Normally, as people age, they mature more, learn to be less selfish etc. But I can see that’s not true with your mum. She is the same selfish person she was all those years ago.

Choice_Woodpecker977 −  NTA. You are right your child does not owe you grand babies. Your mom needs therapy.

CharmingWino865 −  If you are AH, make room for me!!  Your mom calling you selfish for NOT imposing your desire for grandkids on your daughter (if you have a desire to have grandkids)?? I was just having this discussion with my sister the other day. Saying I don’t think I’ll ever become a grandmother as I don’t think my two children want kids of their own. I can’t imagine hounding either of my kids to have kids  just to make me a grandma. To do so would be selfish in the extreme,like your selfish mother. 

No_Worldliness_6976 −  NTA. If your mother wants children she could always adopt… not pushing your child into having kids means you love your children just as they are.

ThisGuuuy2 −  You’re a good mom. NTA. You were treated like a broodmare by your own mother, and now she’s got her beady little eyes locked on your child. If she doesn’t stay in her own lane, then put her in her place. Bluntly speaking, no one gives a s**t about an old lady wanting a great grandchild. Their opinion matters extremely little in this endeavour.

Low_Echidna3042 −  NTA. This is the only acceptable response.