AITAH for telling my partner I would cut contact with my MIL due to her extreme favouritism ?

A woman in a blended family faces a challenging situation with her mother-in-law (MIL), who shows blatant favoritism towards her stepdaughter (G) while neglecting and making harmful assumptions about her biological son (R) and shared children.

After enduring years of unequal treatment and shocking accusations, she decides to cut contact between her MIL and her sons, sparking a disagreement with her partner.

‘ AITAH for telling my partner I would cut contact with my MIL due to her extreme favouritism ?’

So context, we are a blended family. I have my step daughter (who we will call G), my son of the same age (let’s call him R), we have 1 child together (A) and I’m currently pregnant. We’ve been together for 5 years and in that time, my MIL has never once turned up on Rs birthday.

She’s also never bothered to even so much as text to say happy birthday. I’ve always assumed that it was because he is not biologically related to her, and his birthday is close to Christmas and though I wasn’t happy about it but I’ve tried to put it to the back of my mind.

For G, she has always turned up for her birthday and made a huge fuss of her. This year was As first birthday and again, she missed Rs birthday all together which I’ve come to expect however, I was shocked that she didn’t bother for As first birthday.

We heard nothing from her until I texted her a reminder that it was As first birthday. After that I got a text message wishing him a happy birthday and that was it. For As first Christmas, she even went as far as to say she wasn’t coming because G would be at her mums for Christmas.

She would only come if G was present. Then it came to Gs birthday, she turned up with a birthday cake and presents. Made a huge fuss of her. Later in the evening, she then took it upon herself to insist that I start putting extra precautionary measures in place to protect G.

Of course, I and everyone else present were confused at this until she stated that it was only a matter of time before R did something inappropriate to G, that my MIL knows how boys think at his age (he had just turned 7) and continued to try and claim that R would a**ault G in the night if we didn’t put safety measures in place to ensure that he couldn’t.

R has shown absolutely no interest in girls and thinks they’re gross and considering my MIL has barely seen him in the 5 years we’ve been together, I have no idea where she would have gotten this idea from. The day ended with me kicking her out of the house.

Everyone else who was present was as shocked as I was at her allegations and no one could understand where she had gotten them from. The entire thing has really affected my mental health as well as I’ve found out I’m having another boy and I’m frightened that he too will be treated with the same opinions and lack of interest as the other two boys have been.

I’ve not stopped crying since I found out due to the absolute fear of it. I said to my partner that I didn’t want her having any further contact with the boys, I wouldn’t stop contact with G as there is a very strong bond there but for the boys,

she is a total stranger anyway and I don’t want them around someone who would brand them in such a way simply for being boys and show no interest in them. My partner unfortunately wasn’t present during her accusations but doesn’t seem to believe me that she would say such things.

Though he does know that she blew up at me over my birthday because I wanted to spend my birthday with my family and not walking her dogs for her and he has seen the messages that she sent me, accusing me of abusing and controlling him because of it.

Rs dad who I’m still very good friends with, thinks he’s in denial about his mum and doesn’t want to believe that she would say such things and has chosen not to see how differently she treats them.

He thinks it’s easier for my partner to think I’m overreacting due to hormones than it is to admit how his mum treats me and the boys. He also thinks her accusations may have stemmed from her own past experiences leading her to varnish all boys with the same brush but at the same time,

he knows my history and thinks she should try to take some notes out of my book rather than constantly accusing me of various things as well (there have been a huge amount of accusations thrown at me in the past,

not just those I’ve mentioned here. She doesn’t like the fact that Rs dad and I are still very close and treat each other as family even though we’ve separated). AITAH for not wanting my kids to have contact with my MIL?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

RJack151 −  NTA. Ice her out.

PsychologicalRoll705 −  Nta. You have two problems, one is MIL and the other a partner who refuses to take your side, even when your child’s mental wellbeing is at risk, he didn’t believe you. Unless your partner gets on board and sees the toxicity and believes you, you won’t get NC.

You have proof via the others present and yet he still denies it being a possibility. Your son should never have his home space risked for someone who would accuse him of doing such things or mistreating him. Her history may be negative but it’s never a reason to take it out on children. Your home should be a mother in law free zone from now on.

VegetableBusiness897 −  Sit the family down with her and tell them this is an intervention for grannies addiction to step bro/sis porn

OwlUnique8712 −  I would be more worried that she is going to be feeding her thoughts about this stuff to your daughter and it will start to influence her and it will make her start treating her brothers differently. Be careful of that bond you say they have. Your MIL will use it to convince your daughter of stuff especially if she spends time alone with her.

balconyherbs −  NTA. And get your spouse to start putting distance between G and you MIL. Because she will poison G against R and her half siblings with her paranoia.

annebonnell −  NTA I’m not sure I’d let her be around my daughter either. God only knows what she’ll tell her or teacher.

bcosiwanna_ −  NTA. She shouldn’t be trusted with G either as her behaviour is deeply inappropriate and creepy.

ChanceKnowledge1222 −  This makes no sense. You say she’s already missed R’s birthday this year. But R’s birthday is around Christmas time, so how has she missed it if it hasn’t happened?

9smalltowngirl −  NTA I would invite some of the other people who heard her over and then he can hear it from them too. I’d tell them why you want them to share with him. The favoritism of the only girl is a major problem.

I’d tell hubby from now on his mom is not allowed in the house. He can take his daughter there. She has some mental health issues that need addressed. I’m surprised she had anything to do with her son.

TheEvilSatanist −  Give her enough rope… Play nice, do what you do, and next time she says some off the wall s**t when you’re around, record her f**king ass and play it back for your partner later on.. Also, NTA