AITA for Asking My Parents to Stop Playing Favorites With My Siblings?

A 27-year-old user shares their frustration about feeling like the “responsible” child in a family where their siblings receive more leniency and support from their parents. Despite being the oldest, the user has had to manage financial independence and responsibilities while their younger siblings, even as adults, get more help.

After confronting their parents, they were dismissed and told they were just jealous. The user is now questioning whether it’s wrong to want equal treatment and support from their parents.

‘ AITA for Asking My Parents to Stop Playing Favorites With My Siblings?’

I (27F) am the oldest of three kids. Growing up, I always felt like I was held to a different standard than my younger siblings. My parents were super strict with me—curfews, academic expectations, chores—while my brother (24M) and sister (21F) got away with almost everything.

Even now, as adults, it feels like they’re still playing favorites. For example, when I got my first job out of college, they expected me to contribute financially to the household. But when my brother moved back home after college, they didn’t ask for a penny.

My sister dropped out of school last year, and they’ve been fully supporting her while I’ve had to figure everything out on my own. Recently, I confronted them about it. I told them it feels unfair and exhausting to always be the “responsible one” while my siblings get all the support.

My parents said I should be proud of being independent and that I’m only complaining because I’m jealous. I don’t want to ruin our relationship, but I feel like I’ve been treated more like a third parent than a child. AITA for wanting them to treat us equally?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Particular-Town2229 −  You’re NTA. It’s not jealousy to ask for fairness. Being “independent” doesn’t mean you should be overlooked. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to expect some balance in how your family treats you.

facinationstreet −  Time to go LC. Stop giving them money (if you still are) and get out from under their expectations. Time to make your own life and path.

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA This, sadly, happens in a lot of families. The first child is raised with strict rules and high expectations, and then the parents get more passive with each subsequent kid.

It’s NOT fair, and you’re right to call it out. If you had to pay rent when you got a job, your siblings should, too. If your parents don’t want to charge them because, they should pay you back whatever they charged you back in the day.

Cybermagetx −  Nta. Just distance yourself from them. They are toxic. And will expect you to help them in their old age as you’re the responsible one.

Ok_Handle2153 −  This is a classic “firstborn gets all the responsibility” situation. It’s not fair, and it’s okay to tell your parents that their actions hurt you. They need to see you as their child, not as a second parent.

Radio_Mime −  I remember being the independent, responsible sibling…because I had no other choice. It sounds like that’s the case for you too. As for their accusations of jealousy/envy…well no s**t!

You are envious because of an obvious lack of fairness! I am glad you confronted them, but don’t expect it to change anything. I truly don’t understand what gets into some parents’ heads.

PsychoSwede557 −  I’m only complaining because I’m jealous. As if that’s not a natural reaction to obvious favouritism..

stonrbby −  You’re definitely not wrong here. It sounds like your parents have set double standards without realizing the emotional toll it’s taking on you. You’re not ruining the relationship—they are by ignoring your valid concerns.

fizzinator9000 −  NTA. Sometimes when I chat with my parents, I feel like I’m the family ATM because they didn’t save much for retirement and my sibling isn’t as well off as me.

Do you think the user is justified in asking for equal treatment from their parents, or is their frustration rooted in jealousy? How would you handle this situation if you were in their shoes? Share your thoughts and join the conversation below!