AITAH Because did I get angry at my family for making fun of my boyfriend’s hobby?

A Reddit user shared a story about standing up for their boyfriend after their family mocked his crocheting hobby, labeling it as “too feminine.” Despite their boyfriend remaining calm, the user felt deeply upset and struggled with their family’s dismissive attitude. Read on for the full story and share your thoughts below!

‘ AITAH Because did I get angry at my family for making fun of my boyfriend’s hobby?’

I’m upset about what happened today, my (F22) boyfriend (M23) was at my house today hanging out with me, I still live with my parents and my brother (M19) too. My boyfriend really likes crocheting and he’s really good at it, he has an online store, it’s not his livelihood but it gives him a little extra income,

he does it because he likes it and that’s it and it’s something I love about him, he really has a lot of talent, I myself am a mess with my hands and I admire how skilled and talented he is, but it seems like my family has some problem with that.

We were both in the living room watching Netflix while he was knitting (He has a lot of Christmas errands that he needs to finish) and my mom came up to him and asked him point blank “Seriously, you don’t have a guy hobby?”

My boyfriend was literally stunned and so was I because this came completely out of nowhere, I told my mom that it’s art and art has no gender, she looked at me like I was dumb and said “but knitting is a girl thing” my dad was there and said something like “Well, everyone can try new things these days, right?”

it pissed me off because she clearly said it in a sarcastic way and my brother just laughed. My boyfriend left shortly after, although he remained calm he was clearly upset, I called them out on what they said, they’d never had any problems when they’d seen him doing their errands before,

then my dad told me that he thinks my boyfriend is too effeminate (he has long hair and also paints his nails) and my brother said that he does look kind of gay, now I’m fuming in my room, I texted him apologizing profusely and he said not to worry and that it’s okay.

I feel so bad and embarrassed, I’m so angry right now. I just skipped dinner and my mom says to stop being dramatic because that they’re just looking out for me, but belittling and embarrassing my boyfriend to his face isn’t looking out for me. I’m too angry to think clearly, am I overreacting or am I right to feel this anger?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Temporary-Active9158 −  NTA. My dad is a old school Italian, in his 60s, born and raised in Brooklyn, rides a harley, drinks scotch, and LOVES to make people quilts. Your family is infused with ideologies that revolve around gender specifics. Be happy this is not you. WORK HARD on your inner world. Everyone is going to have opinions and comments.

That_Vicious_Vixen −  NTA. Your family were being mean for no reason. Nothing wrong with a guy who likes to crochet.

wh1telotus_ −  NTA. Your family is just being a d**k about your boyfriend for no apparent reason. He should be able to do whatever he wants without your family harassing him about it, especially in this day and age.

Your mom saying she’s “looking out for you” is so incorrect – she’s not bringing up any legitimate concerns about your boyfriend, just harassing him for having a hobby.

lmmontes −  Looking out for you how? NTA. They were hella rude.

AggressiveNetwork861 −  NTA I also crochet, it’s tough on the hands but really relaxing to do while watching tv. Your dad and brother sound like d**k measurers. Dude is making money with his hobby, I’m jealous. All my crochet things turn out trapazoidal lmfao

believe_in_claude −  NTA, I’d not bring him around them, they don’t deserve his company and he deserves better than to be subjected to that!

Prior_Ad_4274 −  NTA, I probably would’ve gotten myself kicked out for saying something sarcastic like “but imagine how good I am with my fingers”, we can all be smart asses c:

emptysthemepark −  NTA. “They’re just looking out for me” means they have biased, outdated expectations of what a man should do and look like. And those biases are inappropriate and hurt your boyfriend. Inform them as calmly as you can that their actions were hurtful to him, and you because they hurt your partner and that hurts you.

That “looking out for you” doesn’t mean causing pain to people you care for and they need to allow you to choose your own happiness. Their preferences and expectations are not welcome.

And then you can tell them that plenty of traditionally attractive men like Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe knit, so maybe they’ve missed the memo on knitting being cool for everyone. Because it is.

Glittering_Bridge309 −  NTA. You have every right to be upset that your small-minded family is b**lying your boyfriend. So sorry you’re both dealing with that.

Draculamb −  “Looking out for you” ***never*** involves attacking or demeaning your significant other without just cause.. NTA.