AITA for refusing to share my Xmas gift from work?

A Reddit user (42m) was given a €200 gift card from work, which his wife (43f) assumed she could use for household items. However, the user stated that he wanted to use the gift card for something personal, and not for the house. His wife is now upset, calling him selfish. The user believes he’s justified, as his wife has used her discounts only for herself. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to share my Xmas gift from work?’

For context: both my wife (43f) and I (42m) started new jobs this year. My job has better conditions in general, but I also pay for almost our expenses: rent, food, bills, etc, as she’s working part time. One of the benefits she gets is discounts for many brand products from different shops, so she’s been able to get herself some nice things. When I asked if I could get sth I was looking for with her discount she said she didn’t feel comfortable doing that, alright fine.

Well, last week my company gave me a gift card with 200€, and when she found out she started planning on how to spend the money without even asking me. I simply told her I didn’t know what I was going to use the money for as I have until the end of June 2025 to use it, but that I didn’t want to spend it on stuff for the house as I want it to go towards something I want. Now she’s mad at me saying I’m being selfish, but I honestly don’t think I am.

For context, when she used her discounts to get stuff, it was all for her, not for us, so I don’t see why me doing the same would make me the bad guy here.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

QtK_Dash −  I try not to judge other people’s relationships but what the hell is this? Who doesn’t allow their spouse to use their discount? Is it limited? Given the “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours” attitude, I’d say NTA.

selling_petrol_ −  NTA it’s your money and there is some double standards here. I think referring to when she used her discounts they weren’t for you, and this was something you got from work that you want to decide how to spend. If she doesn’t take the boundary well I would have a bigger conversation about what is shared vs personal.

RaineMist −  NTA. She can’t be mad about that when she was uncomfortable with you using her discount but not uncomfortable with using your gift card.

Consistent-Ad3191 −  It sounds like what’s hers is hers and what’s yours is hers? She has no right. She sounds a little bit greedy and selfish.

OlieCalpero −  NTA, but your wife is along with her double standard…

BrokenViolet −  This is definitely a NTA. As another comment said, she set the standard about the work benefits. She gets a discount on stuff she buys for herself, and now, thanks to this gift card, you will as well for what you buy for yourself.. What’s good for the goose….

FloorShowoff −  NTA. It’s unsettling and ironic that she began planning how to use *your* gift card without consulting you, and then had the nerve to call you selfish.

Deb_elf −  NTA. Wife is perhaps a little selfish. But she’s probably not done with your gift card. So either use it this weekend or bring it back to work and lock it in your desk/locker or somewhere else safe.

UnusualPotato1515 −  NTA. Tell her you dont feel comfortable for her to use your gift card much like she has been uncomfortable for you to use her store discounts. How are you selfish for saying no when she’s been saying no to you all this time?

Puzzleheaded_Bet3455 −  Nta funny how it works. Her benefits are only for her. Your benefits are for her.