AITA for refusing to invite my MIL to XMAS?

A Reddit user shared their struggle over whether to invite their difficult mother-in-law to a Christmas celebration they’re hosting for the first time. After receiving a rude response to their initial invitation, they reconsidered their decision, sparking tension with their husband. Read on to explore the situation and share your thoughts below!

‘ AITA for refusing to invite my MIL to XMAS?’

My husband (27M) and I (25F) decided to host a big XMAS this year. We’ve never really done this and our family would just go separate ways after visiting us, so I was really excited. However, I’ve never had a good relationship with my MIL. My husband wants us to get along but it’s just not possible – she’s ignorant and doesn’t have any boundaries.

Of course, all these past few years we invited her to our house alongside our family, but as I said we never hosted an actual Christmas dinner/party at our home. Anyway, I wanted to invite her this year, I really did (I wanted to make things work so we could all have a great time) and my husband found it super sweet and I was very happy.

So, I called to invite her and she said “Oh! Finally, you make a GREAT decision! I think it’ll be your last one though!” and then proceeded to have a good laugh. I was very surprised and not in a good way. I told my husband what happened and he just laughed it off, saying stuff like ‘she’s just like that’.

I said I didn’t want to invite her into our home anymore and he freaked. When he was sleeping, I sent her a very polite message saying we want a closer group to come to our XMAS dinner and that it’s not a good idea for her to come. She didn’t see it yet, and here I am writing this.

I don’t think that it’s okay for her to talk to me like that and then expect to still be invited. What do you think?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

snarkness_monster −  “She’s just like that.” Translation: RUDE, but we all just deal with it, and so should you. This is the classic way to describe difficult personalities that aren’t going to change. Also, she’s wrong. Your GREAT idea was uninviting her. I’m betting the holiday spirit won’t move you to invite her in the future. NTA

ColdstreamCapple −  YTA Mainly because rather than talk to your husband and get a game in plan of how to handle the MIL now you’ve further antagonised her and given her more reason to play the victim

RammsteinFunstein −  YTA You know you are or you wouldn’t be sending messages behind his back when he’s sleeping.

missdeb99912 −  YTA. You invited her knowing how she is. She also said something super vague and weird and like nothing directly rude toward you. Then you’re telling her you want a “closer group?” She’s literally your mother in law. You opened up a can of worms.

spawn3887 −  This reeks of us not getting the whole story. YTA for sending the message in a shady way.

Repulsive-Plane9429 −  YTA  Weird comment sure but you already invited her… Also you don’t get to disinvite her behind your husbands back 

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 −  YTA. This is your husband’s party, too, and you already invited her. Rescinding the invitation because she made a dumb joke is tacky. Know what I think? I think that this won’t be an issue next year because you’re going to drive your husband away with shenanigans like these, and he’ll be celebrating Christmas in a different house.

pottersquash −  YTA. Admit you like the tet a tet. Cause no WAY you send that message with purely noble intentions. You want the blow up.

slackerchic −  “I sent her a very polite message saying we want a closer group to come to our XMAS dinner and that it’s not a good idea for her to come.”
YTA and I wouldn’t get too high on that horse. Karma has a way of really humbling people.

Bubbly_Ad3385 −  YTA- you invited her, then uninvited her with the worst line you could have come up with: “we want a closer group”. It doesn’t get much closer than you and your husband’s parents. You keep responding to comments trying to justify your actions, but you asked us objectively so don’t fight if- YTA