Gf gets over jealous easy?

A Redditor shares their struggle in a year-long relationship with a girlfriend who battles intense jealousy despite their best efforts to reassure her. From Instagram reels to everyday conversations, they find her mistrust unsettling and harmful to their bond.

They’ve tried to address the issue respectfully but feel unheard. Now, they’re searching for advice on how to navigate this recurring issue. Read the story below for details and insights.

‘ Gf gets over jealous easy?’

I (M24) have been with my GF (F22) for almost little more than a year. In this time we found a deep connection (or so I think) and for the most part see eye to eye on most things.

I’m a very committed man, raised Christian and have been through many break ups and I went through therapy due to these break ups and wouldn’t wish the mental torture I went through even on my worst enemy.. Except her jealousy.

Now my GF is a bit ditsy, she often doesn’t understand obvious jokes or sarcasm and often takes everything said by anyone seriously, assuming she was ever checked into the conversation in the first place.

At first it started with my instagram reel recommendations as I follow a lot of Fitness pages a lot of those OF fitness reels tend to pop up on there, she will say, “What are you looking at?” And I respond, “Someone who has a little to much self confidence.” And mind you I skip all these reels as I find them annoying and gross.

She retorts, “Uh huh sure.” Like I already skipped it, I give a back handed and mildly rude comment about it and I’m some how still I’m “looking” I brushed it off cause sure they are literally selling their bodies. Fast forward to a time we were at the gym and she was watching the anime “Demon slayer.”

And one of the characters has 3 wives and she shows my like “all three of them are his wives.” Where sarcastically I respond, “damn kinda jealous.” Then she gets upset at me for genuinely thinking I would stop her for 3 animated drawings of women.

Which at this point I was already having a bad day and go to the gym as my safe space and she wanted to tag with me I thought it would make it better (wrong). We talked about it when we got home and albeit I was a little assertive because she was jealous of drawings, she promised me she would work on it and for the most part she has.

Other than continuing to make comments about instagram reels. About a year goes by and we end up at a restaurant where my roommate worked because I like to mess with them. The bartender working that night looked very very familiar to me and it bugged me that I couldn’t remember if I actually did.

This didn’t take away from me talking to my GF who was there but I couldn’t help that feeling of dejavu whenever the bartender walked by often muttering how much it bugs me. But to my GF I was staring at her and because the bartender is much bigger than my GF she said something like it’s because she has boobs from what I can remember.

I tried to remain calm and tell her it’s nothing just that she looks familiar and anyone in my spot would do the exact same as me. But because she isn’t like that I’m wrong and there is something wrong with what I’m doing.

At this point I already told her jealousy is gross and unattractive as it makes me feel like she has no faith in our relationship or me as she constantly thinks I’ll leave her for another woman. Often when we argue she defaults to self deprecation saying how she’s not enough, and I’m just gonna leave and etc etc.

when I have always said that no matter what I chose her and I constantly show that to her as even in public I’m touchy and try to be the best boyfriend I can be. Nothing happens for about a couple months. At this point we have moved in as I believed we hashed out at least the biggest issues we had.

But the last couple days we went to Starbucks and I am kind to people who work food service as I’ve been there and I like to make other peoples day a bit better even if it’s a simple “how are you doing today?” But to my GF it sounds like I’m “Flirting” with whomever is on the intercom.

And especially yesturday the woman who made my coffee messed up and gave me a free size up and I expressed how appreciative I was that she didn’t charge me but again my GF accused me of Flirting with her despite the woman being around the age of my mom or older and not that attractive to me.

Told her again what her jealousy does to me and asked her if I ever gave her a reason not to trust me and all she could think to say is, “I trust you I don’t trust them.” And I ask her “then what’s the problem? If you trust me to come back to you there should be no issue.”
“What if she gave you her number.”. “I’ll throw it away?”

“You’d take it in front of me?” “I doubt anyone would try that, especially if they’re working.” “Well I kinda look like a dude right now, sooo.”
“If they thought that chances are they’d put in the receipt or my cup so I’d just throw it away later. When I’m done.”. “Whatever…”

I told her after that she needs to stop this jealousy BS. I told her I’m not just gonna stop being nice, so if people think I’m flirting it’s not my problem and I’m not gonna entertain anything if they flirt with me. I feel really grossed out whenever she does this and it feels like she’s trying to control who I talk to and how I talk to them.

She often sends me instagram reels that are captioned “how my GF expect me to do XYZ to other women.” And it’s often a clip of some dude being rude. mI hate jealousy as I used to be this way but I never once told my SO she shouldn’t talk to other guys but I did make aware it makes me uncomfortable as I’ve been cheated on a couple times.

But my current SO is not them and I often meditate my way through these thoughts but when I am dealing with her jealousy it grosses me out, upsets me, and makes me feel like I’m choking.

Idk how to proceed with her, I wanna slam the hammer down and tell her how unacceptable and disappointed I feel when she gets jealous but she just mentally checks out whenever we have a serious talk.

See what others had to share with OP:

Jucylucywithfries −  You’re both way too immature for any sort of relationship.

blumoon138 −  I think it’s time to break up with her. This level of jealousy is not cute. However, for the next woman, it’s also not cute for you to call her ditsy and talk about your girlfriend with this level of disrespect.

Breakfastcrisis −  So I don’t think it’s fair to tear you apart over how you’ve talked about your GF here. It’s not the most respectful description I’ve heard, but I also understand you’re venting here.

Look, she sounds like she has some problems. You do have to put your foot down and keep it down on these issues. If she wants to get mad at you based on hypothetical infidelity, she will. There are innumerable opportunities to cheat or have attraction to other people. This won’t go away unless it’s pushed away forever.

If you really want to stay with her, just frankly ask her. Ask her: “What will it take you to actually give me the respect of trusting me? Because this isn’t cool. It’s a**sive. If it happens even one more time, we’re over.”

The ball is in her court then. If she does it again, call it quits. Disclaimer: I personally take a zero tolerance to jealousy, so I might not be the best person to give advice.

tgbst88 −  Dude stop taking woman that are a project..

Sylliest −  I feel like a lot of the comments here are just telling you to break up with your girlfriend, and hey, that’s totally fair and valid. Just wanted to chime in with another perspective. I’ve been cheated on in the past and struggle with a lot of the same jealousy issues your girlfriend has.

I’m lucky to have a really incredible partner who’s very patient with me about it. Something that’s helped both of us is to approach the situation with vulnerability. When I’m feeling jealous, I try not to make accusations at him. Instead, I say something like “hey I know this isn’t really rational, but I’ve been feeling insecure about _____.”

In return, my partner never tells me that I just need to stop being jealous, or that it’s unattractive, or anything that might make me feel worse. He usually says something like “thanks for letting me know” and then reassures me that I don’t have to be worried.

Could be worth talking to your girlfriend and seeing if you two can work out a mindset shift like this so you can talk about her feelings in a way that’s more respectful to both of you. Good luck 🙂

Jealousy can be a challenging issue in relationships, especially when it feels unwarranted or controlling. Do you think the user’s approach to addressing it has been fair? How would you handle a partner’s jealousy while maintaining healthy boundaries? Share your thoughts or advice below!