AITAH for telling my wife I did not “hide” from her that my sister was in fact my step sister?

A Reddit user shared a situation where his wife was shocked to learn that his sister is actually his stepsister, not a biological sibling. The user explained that, due to his mom’s passing and his close bond with his stepsister, he never thought to mention this detail.

However, his wife reacted negatively, claiming their sibling relationship was inappropriate for step-siblings. The user responded harshly, but now wonders if he was wrong to react that way. Read the full story below…

‘ AITAH for telling my wife I did not “hide” from her that my sister was in fact my step sister?’

My wife and I have been married for 3 years and together for 7. For context, my bio mom sadly passed during childbirth, and a couple years later, my dad married my step mom, who had a daughter aged 1. My step mom’s husband had also sadly passed away when her daughter was only a couple of months old.

Now all that say, for all intents and purposes, my step mom is my mom and my step sister is my sister, as they have been with me my whole life. While I was happy that my dad and step mom loved each other a lot and bonded over shared grief, it also led to them abandoning both me and my sister.

Ever since kindergarten, my sister and I kind of had to rely on ourselves, and so we have a bond, which is strong to this day. My wife is friends with my sister and she always thought our bother sister bond was sweet. However, last week, she “found out” that my sister was actually my step sister, and she freaked out.

She asked me why had I hidden this from her so long, and I told her there was nothing to hide, it just didn’t strike my mind to bring this up. My wife also told me a lot of the stuff my step sister and I do is normal if we’re blood brother and sister, but very weird if we’re actually step siblings.

She said my step sister is too c**ngy to me, and it’s weird for a step sibling. I told my wife to get her head checked, which was admittedly a bit harsh, but I just thought what my wife was saying was absolutely ridiculous.. AITAH?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Sudden-Pomegranate95 −  Does your wife often watch videos on the P hub? Cause unless she’s getting stuck in the washing machine often and ringing you over for help I’m not quite sure what you could be doing that’s so strange.

Spirited_Cry9171 −  NTA. While I do think it is a bit odd that this never came up even once in *seven years*, this is nothing to get mad over. And, it sounds like your wife puts way to much stock in “blood relation” with this whole “they way you two act is ok only if you were related by blood” thing.

Your wife is way too hung up on semantics here. I could maybe understand her being a bit confused as to why this never came up, but certainly not mad. Edit: Since some people are replying to me and seem to be hung up on this:

I never claimed that OP’s mom and sister are not family or are not really his mom and sister because they are technically steps. I’m simply saying that it seems odd to ME that the story of how his family came to be wouldn’t come up with his partner even ONE TIME in seven years.

I guess I just come from a family where not sharing this kind of stuff would be really weird. Even with my friends…at SOME point during our long friendship it would have absolutely come up about how my family came to be. But, I guess I’m just they type of person who makes conversation with people…

LogicalDifference529 −  I mean, your wife is acting weird about the “step sibling” part but honestly, how the hell are you with someone for 7 years and not tell them your family history like this?

I mean, from your biological mother passing, your father and step mother abandoning you, etc. if I found out something this huge about my husbands life 7 years into the relationship, I’d think it was super weird and honestly wonder what else you’re not sharing.

waxedgooch −  It speaks volumes of your relationship, that your wife didn’t know your birth mom died and your dad remarried. Like, that’s fundamental stuff.

My wife and I know our whole histories, there’s like literally nothing left to say. I find it insane that you two seemingly never speak about your lives but you do you… then again that’s why you have insane situations like this happening 

Significant-Bobcat48 −  NTA. The comment was a bit harsh, but she sounds like she’s feeling some insecurities. I’d have a calm convo with her and reiterate that you understand how she might think it’s obvious to mention something like that,

but that because you grew up so close and have the relationship you have, it’s not even something you ever think about. I think she’s just fighting some internal feelings rn

Odd_Craft3946 −  You’ve been with your wife for 7 years and she didn’t know your birth mom died, other stuff aside, that’s kinda crazy to me.

Diasies_inMyHair −  The “Step” part of stepsister is merely a technicality. She’s your sister in every way that matters. The fact that your wife wants to diminish your relationship by insisting on the “step” says more about her than it does about you and your sister. NTA

OCessPool −  ESH. It’s inconceivable to me that in 7 years, you never mentioned that your bio mom is dead. And your wife has some bizarre hangups.

Born-Work2089 −  NTA, She was caught off guard and she overreacted. Perhaps you did too. Tell her that you have always seen your step-sister as a sister.

Time-Improvement6653 −  If you were adopted and didn’t go announcing it to everyone, would she think you were “hiding” something by calling your parents your parents? 🙄 NTA

Do you think the user was justified in his reaction, or should he have handled the situation more delicately? What would you have done if you were in his wife’s position? Share your thoughts below and join the conversation!