GF (24F) and I (23M) live in condo owned by my parents and I am going to break up with her. How do I let her down without creating bad blood?

A Redditor shared their dilemma of ending a relationship with their girlfriend, with whom they share a condo owned by his parents. With feelings still involved and a shared living space, he’s seeking advice on breaking up without creating unnecessary tension or bad blood. Read the full story below to see his plan for navigating this tough situation.

‘ GF (24F) and I (23M) live in condo owned by my parents and I am going to break up with her. How do I let her down without creating bad blood?’

We’ve been together for just over a year, and moved in with each other around the 8 month mark. She was getting evicted out of her apartment at the time and I never moved out (did college from my parents house) so I thought it was a good opportunity to move out and learn a thing or two about being an adult.

My parents happened to have an apartment and were looking for tenants, so we decided to move into a condo my parents owned. My parents are giving us a great price and all in all the condo location is great.

Once me and my girlfriend moved into, since there was no where to hide, we discovered that we are just too different and incompatible. I won’t really get into the details but, our communication styles are different, and we have less interest in common than we thought, and our energy levels are super different.

Even our sleep schedules are different, so I just know she isn’t the one for me. I do however still love her and it breaks my heart but I have decided I will break up with her to stop wasting my time and her time. I want to do it in the best way possible though, so I don’t hurt her anymore than I have to and that there is no bad blood.

I’ve thought about telling her that we are done, but living together in the condo until she’s found another place, while I look for another roommate too. I plan to stay living there indefinitely. Any advice and thoughts on the situation is appreciated.

TLDR: GF and I live in a condo owned by my parents and I’ve decided to break up with her but want to know how to do it in the best way possible.

See what others had to share with OP:

imtchogirl −  This is a situation where you’re putting her in a tough spot and you can help her move with a minimum of stress. 1. Tell your parents first and ask them to let her out of the lease and be a good reference for her so she can get a new lease.

2. If you can, visit back home for a little bit to give her space (like for a weekend, give her a few days to cry without you there) and if you do have to be together in the space, give her a time limit. Like 30-60 days.

3. If it’s in your means, give her money that she can use to get a new lease. Like pay her the deposit (because you expect to get it back later when you move out) and one month’s rent if you can. You’re trying to be nice and give her the literal financial means to be able to leave.

You’re also giving her “I’m sorry I’m kicking you out” money. Because you want it to be worth her while to go, and not try to stick around for the rest of the lease, which she has every right to do.

4. Be very, very clear and kind in your messaging, like: it’s not working out and we need to end the relationship and you will have to move out of our place. That may take some time, but we’re not dating anymore.

5. Don’t owe her money and don’t sleep with her or with other girls in front of her. Be nice roommates and keep it clean and not j**k her around. Clean break.

fun_guy02142 −  Even if she doesn’t have a lease, she is a tenant with rights so tread carefully.

wordsmythy −  Why did she get evicted? Is she employed? Can she afford a place on her own at market price? Do you have a lease and is she on it?. This could be tough.

She hast to know that she’s as unhappy as you are, right? So sit down and have that talk. your offer to give her time to find another place is a good one. If she is not the type of person to take advantage.

BubbaChanel −  No matter what, this won’t be pain free. She wasn’t able to cover rent on her own 4 months ago, so it might take a seal team level extrication to get her out.

CreamyLinguineGenie −  I mean, she’s losing a relationship and her home in the same conversation so she’s not gonna be happy no matter how you sugar-coat it. Also, you can’t just tell her to leave. She has rights and if she got evicted, she’s not going to be able to find a new place to live easily.

SuluSpeaks −  Be nice, be generous, help her with just about anything reasonable that she asks for. Don’t sleep in the same bed either her, don’t have s** with her. Don’t parade women around in front of her. You moved in together a bit too early, but I get that the circumstances were a big reason why.

I have a friend who was kicked out on her 18th birthday. She was homeless for a while, and got into a series of relationships that were unhealthy and a**sive, just to have someplace to live. Be on the lookout for that kind of scenario, and try your hardest to avoid it.

Traditional-Total114 −  Just communicate! Explain to her what you are feeling and that you think it’s best to break up. There is no way to not hurt someone.

ActionIllustrious994 −  I don’t understand, 4 days ago you were asking for advice on how to initiate intimacy w her? What made you change ur mind so quick?

Goat_Jazzlike −  She has legal rights to live there, so it may get rough. Also, it is hard to not have someone be angry with a breakup. The cruelest thing anyone can hear from their SO is, “I don’t want you anymore,.”

Trepenwitz −  Give her a few weeks to find her own place, but make it definite. It sounds mean, but it’s for the best for both of you.

Do you think offering to live together until she finds a new place is the best solution, or could it make the situation more complicated? How would you approach a breakup while sharing a home? Share your insights and advice below!