AITA for canceling everyone’s christmas because my mom called the cops on my husband?
A Redditor shares a difficult decision to cancel Christmas after their mother called the cops on their husband during a heated family conflict. The situation arose when the husband stepped in to help the Redditor’s younger sister escape a volatile argument, only for the mother’s actions to escalate.
Tired of years of toxic behavior and unwilling to let things be swept under the rug, the Redditor chose to set boundaries for the sake of their family. Read the original story below to find out more.
‘ AITA for canceling everyone’s christmas because my mom called the cops on my husband?’
Usually my husband(30) and I(27F) host christmas eve at our house. It’s nothing big, just my (divorced) parents and my three teenage siblings. This year, we have a newborn and sat thanksgiving out but I felt comfortable doing christmas.
UNTIL, my mom called the cops on my husband a few weeks back. One of my sisters(19) called me, crying, asking me to go pick up our younger sister (17) because she had just got in a fight with my mom & my mom slapped her.
Our newborn baby was sleeping and we wanted to get the 17yr old ASAP, so I stayed behind while my husband went to get both my sisters. My mom and my 17yr old sister were at the laundry mat (altercation happened at home) when my husband walked up to their car and told my sister “let’s go”
My mom freaks out, causing a scene, starts yanking on the car door, telling him to let my sister out or she’s calling the cops. At this point, my husband had locked the door and kept telling my mom he’s not letting her out, she needs space and he’s bringing her back to our place. My mom walks away, and I tell him to drive off, she can send the cops to my house if she wants. (I was on the phone w/ him)
She calls the cops and it backfires. The cops side with us and agree 17yr old should have been removed from the situation and should stay with me for a few days. This enraged my mom. For some odd reason she hates that my sisters and I are close.
She has been telling them for years to keep secrets from me, to not tell me what happens in her house (they still do) She has called family meetings with my siblings just to say they need to stop running to me to vent. She says whatever happens in her house is none of my business.
She treats me like I am some random outsider and not her literal daughter and I’m tired of it. She tends to sweep EVERYTHING under the rug. She will never talk about an issue and will just continue life like she didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. She also has a tendency to pull the “well sorry I’m such a bad mom” card. Or she deflects and gaslights… a lot.
After she called the cops on my husband, with the intention to get him in some sort of trouble, I am not letting her just sweep this under the rug and show up for christmas like we are one big happy family. If she cannot come to us like an adult and apologize + have a mature conversation, she is not welcomed in my home. So…Christmas eve is canceled.
I’m also not going to raise my daughter around people that make her parents feel like s**t. I’m not allowing her to see the people that are supposed to love you can treat you however they want just because they are family.. Now, backstory on my mother — I have never considered us to be close.
She put me through a lot as a child and my teen years living with her sucked. She has serious narcissistic behaviors and seriously needs therapy but I don’t even trust her to be honest with a therapist. She’s the type to make everyone else the bad guy and make herself look good.
There’s years and years of incidents with her but this year I’ve really had it. However, I put up with her because of my siblings. So anyways, AITA for canceling everyone’s christmas?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
StandingGoat − NTA – your husbands actions seem justified and the police seemed to agree. Can you not have the dinner sans the mother?
urGFkitttty − Honestly, I get why you’re upset. Your mom crossed a line, and it’s not just about Christmas—it’s about respect. You gotta stand up for your family, especially your husband. If she’s not gonna apologize and act right, then it makes sense to cancel. You’re protecting your peace and your baby’s peace. Keep doing what’s best for you.
Electronic_Ladder398 − NTA for uninviting your mom. But I think you should still host Christmas for the rest of the family, cause it seems like your sisters and your dad didn’t do anything wrong. Plus, hosting the Christmas for everyone while uninviting mom would send a much stronger message to her. Or maybe I’m just a petty AH for suggesting this. lol
snowpat − NTA. I don’t think your husband was in the wrong and even the cops agreed on that!
RedneckDebutante − Your sisters are 17 and 19, plenty old enough to choose to come have Christmas with you and your husband. You’re NTA for uninviting mom, but she will torment your sisters if they have to stay home with her. Invite them and have a nice holiday together with your child.
I was the first to escape my parents’ home. I picked my sister up as often as possible to give her breaks from the crazy until she was old enough to get out, too. It makes a big difference, and keeps them from getting consumed by the abuse.
zoehoneybabe − **NTA**. Your mom called the cops on your husband—of course Christmas is canceled. That’s a serious line crossed, and you’re right not to let her just sweep it under the rug.
You’re protecting your family and setting a solid boundary. No one, *family included*, gets to treat you or your loved ones like crap without consequences. If she can’t apologize or act like an adult, she doesn’t get to show up. Simple as that.
Your siblings will likely understand, and you’re setting a great example for your daughter about what healthy boundaries look like. Don’t feel bad for putting your family’s peace first.
Burn420Account69 − Yikes. NTA. I don’t know if I would have cancelled everything or just told mom to stay home. Either way she wasn’t coming and I’m sorry your sibling is going through this.
DubiousPeoplePleaser − Your mom sounds toxic and a**sive. Where is your dad in all of this be why isn’t he protecting your sisters?
Awkward-Tourist979 − You need to escalate this to social services. Would you be open to a kinship foster arrangement to get your sister away from your a**sive mother?
CautiousPrize8605 − I definitely agree with continuing to host Christmas dinner just don’t invite your mom at all. Christmas is a time to have good memories with your family, don’t let your mom ruin what could be a good time for you and the rest of your family. NTA
Do you think the Redditor was right to cancel Christmas to protect their family, or should they have handled the situation differently? How would you balance family boundaries and obligations in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!