Am I the AH for kicking my husband out of our bedroom for not taking care of me?

A Redditor (29F) is frustrated with her husband (32M) for his lack of support during her illness. After caring for him when he had the flu, she contracted it herself and spent another week ill. Now, after getting food poisoning, her husband complained about her symptoms and dismissed her need for care. Feeling unsupported and upset, she kicked him out of their bedroom. To find out more about the situation, read the full story below…

‘ Am I the AH for kicking my husband out of our bedroom for not taking care of me?’

For context, two weeks ago my husband (32M) contracted influenza. I (29F) spent a week caring and tending for him, until eventually I contracted it too. Spent all last week in the trenches, and all he did was complain that I wasn’t doing enough around the house and additionally not letting him sleep with my cough. This week I started feeling better, and tonight we went over to some friends house for dinner.

Everything was going wonderful, until I started feeling nausea and bowel discomfort. We leave and as soon as we can, and the second I get home I cannot stop vomiting and diarrhea. Obviously I got food poisoning.

My husband sees me throwing up and having a hard time, and again he starts complaining that “there’s always something wrong with me” because I’ve been down for a bit over a week, and that maybe I should sleep to see if I feel better.

I got angry and told him that he was being an AH and that instead of complaining and making me feel like s**t, he should be looking for ways to help me feel better. His response: if you’re feeling like s**t then that’s your problem. Am I the AH for telling him to sleep in the other room?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  I definitely expected something else by the title, lol. NTA – I hate him and I don’t even know him. You cared for him throughout his illness, caught the damn illness from him, then he turned on you demanding more housework and shamed you for being ill???!!! F**k him, the couch is too good – he should sleep in the garage.

Turbulent_Ebb5669 −  He’s lucky you said the other room and not out of the house.

Elegant_Freedom5405 −  Thanks guys was feeling a little bit crazy cause he made me feel I was being so. I agree, he’s being completely ungrateful and apathetic. And additionally g**lighting me into thinking in the villain.

mamalette78 −  Ohhhh no not the AH!!!! Girl next time he’s sick, throw him a pack of Tylenol and say “you’re on your own fucker”!!!

Academic-Ladder2686 −  Therapist here; dare I say another entitled n**cissist man-child? He should sleep on the floor. That’s too good for him. Imagine if you got really sick with a terminal illness? It’s something to think about and this is from someone who worked in hospital. It’s not a pretty sight when a woman gets sick and the husband becomes angry at her and why?

Because his needs are being neglected and that’s all it’s about. They actually complain if the wife has cancer going for chemo and cannot have intercourse, they at least want a blowjob I’ve seen and heard a lot and it’s not anything you want to hitch your wagon to. Your husband is showing you who he really is and it’s something to really think about.

adamcmorrison −  NTA. Unless there’s some info being left out, your husband is a grade-A d**k. You’ve been there for him, taking care of him when he was sick, and he couldn’t even do the bare minimum when you needed him. Instead of supporting you when you’re obviously struggling, he complained about you being sick and made you feel guilty.

That’s not how a partner should behave. He should have been offering comfort, helping out, and showing empathy, not adding to your stress. Kicking him out of the bedroom was completely justified, he needs to understand that relationships are about mutual care and respect, not just one-sided complaints.

HauntingReaction6124 −  he is telling you who he is and he is not your ride or die. He is willing to take what you provide but not be your other half in this marriage. Like he said “if youre feeling like s**t then thats your problem”. There is nothing wrong with being a lone wolf especially if you are going to carry the load for two with no help or consideration.

introverted_smallfry −  Why do I keep seeing posts like this??? Do men even love women anymore?

gumballbubbles −  You should have told him to sleep in the car.

Round-Ticket-39 −  ….. so you went to your friends moment you felt slightly better…. Food poisoningbor just continuation of your sickness? Also divorce. If he is unable to at least shut t f up during your sickness imagine you actualy need more help. He will let you rot.. Nta.