Aitah for after the decision I made after my brother’s hurtful jokes about my pregnancy?

A Redditor is questioning whether she overreacted by canceling Christmas dinner after her younger brother made hurtful jokes about her pregnancy. While she was thrilled to share the news with her family, her brother mocked her pregnancy and made cruel jokes, even creating a group to further spread his humor.

After confronting him and receiving little remorse, the Redditor decided to cancel the dinner, which has caused a rift in the family. Was this an overreaction, or was she justified in prioritizing her peace during a special time in her life? Read the full story below and decide.

‘ Aitah for after the decision I made after my brother’s hurtful jokes about my pregnancy?’

Aitah for canceling Christmas dinner after what my brother did?
For years, I have hosted Christmas dinner at my house. I absolutely love doing it, decorating, cooking, and bringing the whole family together for a special night. My younger brother, Marco has always been the family jokester, but this year, his “joke” went way too far.

A few weeks ago, I decided to surprise the family by announcing that, after years of trying, my husband and I are finally expecting a baby. I shared the news during an intimate family lunch, and everyone was thrilled… except Marco. He laughed and said, “Are you sure? With how much you eat, I just thought it was a holiday belly.”

His comment hurt, but I tried to ignore it to avoid ruining the moment. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there. Marco, thinking he was *so funny*, created a WhatsApp group with our cousins and some relatives called “The Mystery of the Baby or the Turkey,” where he shared memes and jokes about whether I was really pregnant or just gaining weight.

I found out about the group because one of my cousins showed it to me, feeling uncomfortable with the jokes. I was completely humiliated. I confronted Marco directly, but he brushed it off, saying it was just “humor” and that everyone was laughing. “Don’t take it so seriously,” he added.

After days of thinking it over, I made the difficult decision to cancel Christmas dinner at my house this year. I told my family I needed a break and that someone else could host instead. Of course, everyone started asking why, and when I explained what Marco had done, opinions were split.

My mom thinks I’m overreacting and should “let it go because it’s Christmas.” Some of my aunts and cousins support me, saying Marco crossed the line, but others think canceling dinner is punishing everyone else.
Now I feel guilty, but I also believe I have a right to protect my peace, especially during such an important time in my life. Am I the bad guy for not wanting to host this year after what my brother did?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Lindensorry −  NTA. You need peace and tranquility for your pregnancy. Your brother and his attitude can go f**k off sideways. He’s just pissy he’s not going to be the center of attention anymore. If the holiday gathering is so important, someone else can step up and host for a few years. It should have been rotated anyway.

Temporary-Tie-233 −  If it was just a joke, why weren’t you included? He created a whole group chat to make fun of you behind your back, and only one cousin was uncomfortable enough to speak up. NTA.

Equivalent-Gap5844 −  NTA. Your brother is a complete a**hole. I’m so sick of people using ‘jokes’ to be mean and humiliating. Jokes are funny and create a good mood. You are not cancelling Christmas, just not having it at your house. In the future don’t feel obligated to invite your brother to any events you host or to even speak to the little c**ep. Congrats on your pregnancy, just imagine how special next Christmas will be when your child is here to celebrate with you.

andhakaran −  Sounds like a s**tty family to me. Maybe keep this Christmas night a personal one since its the last one where you two are alone? Trust me, you’ll miss this time despite having so much fun with the kid.

BeautifulParamedic55 −  You havent cancelled xmas, you have just turned down hosting. Which is extremely stressful, especially when you feel like your family doesnt support you. Attention seeking little brother is the AH, and mum and anyone else who says you should still so it “cause its xmas” are at best lazy, tone deaf and rude. Congrats on the baby, you go focus on you. Figure out what you want going forward.

WalkForPole −  No, NTA. I think I would’ve still hosted, but uninvited the brother, but you do what feels good for you.

ViancaGemz −  NTA. It’s wild that people think cancelling one dinner is worse than months of mean jokes about something as special as a pregnancy. Stand your ground, and maybe Marco will finally learn that his “humor” isn’t as funny as he thinks.

mcmurrml −  Simply say you were hurt when you found out what he was saying about you and more hurt that those in the chat did not immediately tell him to knock it off and squash it right then.

2ndBestAtEverything −  NTA Don’t break bread with (and certainly don’t make it for) people that mock and humiliate you and find that humorous. And if they don’t find it humorous they certainly seem to think you should s**k it up and make them some dinner, already. Don’t reward them with your labour, time and love. Congrats on the baby. What a perfect opportunity to start some brand new traditions for your new family. Have a happy “first” Christmas.

No_Cockroach4248 −  What your brother said was not a joke, it was mean and hurtful. He then doubled down and created a group with your cousins and some relatives. Everyone appeared to think it was funny and only 1 cousin felt bad about it and told you.

Hosting Christmas is exhausting and you have every right to cancel. You are pregnant, you need your rest and peace of mind. You should not be slaving in the kitchen to feed cousins and relatives who think it is perfectly fine to body shame you behind your back.

Your brother is behaving no different from a high school b**ly. He can host his WhatsApp group for Christmas or your mom and anyone who thinks you overreacted can offer to host. Surprise me I cannot hear any offers to host.
NTA, you can host your husband, the 1 cousin and friends at home and start a new tradition. And you need to have a conversation with your mom, that you are disappointed she is not supporting you.