AITA for calling out my Dad for never really being a Dad?

A Reddit user opens up about a difficult confrontation with their father, who has been physically present but emotionally and financially absent throughout their life. After years of trying to show respect, the user finally spoke up during a family argument, telling their dad he hadn’t earned respect as a father.

Since then, tensions have been high, and the user is now questioning if they were wrong for expressing their feelings and distancing themselves from him. Read the full story below for more context and details.

‘ AITA for calling out my Dad for never really being a Dad?’

Growing up, my dad was physically present, but emotionally and financially, he was checked out. He spent most of his time gambling and leaving my mom to handle everything from raising me to keeping the household running. Despite all this, I’ve always tried to show him respect, even when he didn’t act like a father.

Recently, things boiled over during a family disagreement. My mom and dad had an argument about money again and my dad tried to pull me into it. He accused my mom of being the reason for the family’s financial struggles and even had the nerve to say, “You should be thankful for everything I’ve done for you.”

That hit a nerve. I finally told him, “You’ve never actually been there for me as a dad. Respect is earned, and you’ve done nothing to deserve it.” The room went silent, and my dad just walked away. Since then, things have been tense.

I still live with my parents, and I’m polite when I see him, but I’ve stopped going out of my way to interact with him. Some family members think I crossed a line by calling him out and that I should “just let it go because he’s your dad.”

But honestly, I’m tired of pretending everything is fine when he’s never been the kind of father I needed. AITA for saying what I said and keeping my distance now?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. It sounds like you’ve been holding this in for a long time, and it finally came out because you reached your limit. Your dad pulling you into that argument and making a comment about being thankful for everything he’s done—

when it sounds like he’s done the bare minimum—was unfair and honestly kind of insulting. You were just standing up for yourself and speaking your truth.

WhoIsJolyonWest −  Hell no you’re NTA. Parents forget their kids will grow up and remember how they acted when you were growing up. It sounds like your dad needed a reality check. It sounds like you just made your point and didn’t add any inflammatory statements. Good for you!

Mathalamus2 −  i would have gone one further and tell him that its his gambling habit that caused all the financial struggles.. NTA.

Trishstex −  NTA. You’re not obligated to ignore your feelings just because “he’s your dad.” Being a father involves much more than just being present. It sounds like you’ve been patient and respectful for a long time despite his lack of support.

It’s natural to reach a breaking point, and expressing your feelings honestly is part of having a healthy relationship. If speaking up helps you set boundaries and protect your emotional well-being, then it’s the right move. Just because someone’s family doesn’t give them a free pass on accountability.

Ferdster02 −  *… and that I should “just let it go, because he’s your dad”* He isn’t though, he never cared for you and never even made an effort, so you shouldn’t have to treat him as a dad if he doesn’t treat you like his child.. NTA

Bricknuts −  You a GOAT OP

_Openyourheart_ −  NTA. You clearly reached your breaking point. He’s old enough to understand what he is doing is wrong. I don’t understand why your mom didn’t divorce him yet.

If he doesn’t contribute at all financially and also doesn’t even show affection towards you what’s the point in being together? Kids always suffer because of parents decisions. Maybe try talking to him heart to heart and tell him you don’t like the person he became,

tell him how you feel and that if he won’t stop behaving like this he will lose both you and your mother. If nothing change you should talk your mom out of that marriage. None of you have to suffer because of him.

RevolutionaryBug6517 −  NTA. My father is the same. I like my mother a million times more than him and that’s on him, not on me.

AutoModerator −  ^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.

Growing up, my dad was physically present, but emotionally and financially, he was checked out. He spent most of his time gambling and leaving my mom to handle everything from raising me to keeping the household running. Despite all this, I’ve always tried to show him respect, even when he didn’t act like a father.

Recently, things boiled over during a family disagreement. My mom and dad had an argument about money again and my dad tried to pull me into it. He accused my mom of being the reason for the family’s financial struggles and even had the nerve to say, “You should be thankful for everything I’ve done for you.”

That hit a nerve. I finally told him, “You’ve never actually been there for me as a dad. Respect is earned, and you’ve done nothing to deserve it.” The room went silent, and my dad just walked away. Since then, things have been tense. I still live with my parents, and I’m polite when I see him, but I’ve stopped going out of my way to interact with him.

Some family members think I crossed a line by calling him out and that I should “just let it go because he’s your dad.” But honestly, I’m tired of pretending everything is fine when he’s never been the kind of father I needed. AITA for saying what I said and keeping my distance now?

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SaltFace9839 −  NTA. Kudos for standing up for yourself and your mom OP!!!

Do you think the Redditor was justified in confronting their dad about his lack of support, or did they cross a line by expressing their feelings so directly? How would you handle a similar situation with a parent who hasn’t been emotionally present? Share your thoughts and experiences below!