WIBTA if I don’t give boots back I bought?

A Reddit user shares a tricky situation after agreeing to buy culturally significant boots from someone on Facebook. The seller initially allowed the user to take the boots early, trusting payment would come on the agreed date.

However, a few days later, the seller changed their mind, asking for the boots back because her daughter wanted to keep them in the family. The complication?

The boots have already been disassembled for use as a pattern. Now the user wonders if they’d be the jerk for refusing to return them. Read the full story below for all the details and context.

‘ WIBTA if I don’t give boots back I bought?’

So for context these are cultural boots(My culture) that I’ve been looking for a long time so I could use the for a pattern to make my own.
I randomly saw a woman(Jill) posted some on Facebook for sale, and I messaged her asking if could buy them on the 1st, and that I was very interested in buying them.

Jill said if I could come try them on, and they fit she would save them till I could pay for them. I go and try them on, they fit and I say I’m very excited to buy them on the 1st, in response Jill says I can just take them now and that she trusts me to send the payment when we agreed on, I asked multiple times if she was sure.

I went home with them, took some pics/videos, took them apart and started using them as a pattern now 3 days after Jill messages me that she’s sorry but she wants them back because she talked to her daughter and her daughter wants them to stay in the family (the daughter’s MIL made them for the Jill).

I have no complete boot to give back but since I technically haven’t paid yet so I might be the AITA if I don’t give them back.

Check out how the community responded:

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  A mild AH. I am bothered by the fact that you hurried to take them apart to use them as a pattern, when you hadn’t even paid for them yet! Until you had paid for them, you shouldn’t have touched them. I’m amazed she let you take them, prior to paying in full.

If her daughter did not give permission to sell her boots, and you have no legal written contract for them, you could be on the hook. That is why you should have left them intact until the deal was complete.

Be honest with them and let them know what you did with them. Possibly offer to put them back in one piece, then bring them back, once you have copies the pattern pieces?

OkeyDokey654 −  NTA. Tell her you’re very sorry but you’ve already taken them apart to use as a pattern. And pay her as soon as you can. You might offer to sell them back once you’ve made your pattern, if that’s possible.

Content-Plenty-268 −  NAH, just be honest and explain why you can’t give them back, and pay for them. There are no bad guys in this equation. I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, but expressing regret for being unable to accommodate would probably be appropriate.

quarkfan4552 −  Meh – you shouldn’t have taken then apart before paying but… talk to the lady and come to a compromise, can you put them together and give them back?

fortunatelyso −  NTA the seller made an offer (take now, pay me on the 1st) and the OP/buyer accepted and took the boots now. There is no breach unless OP doesn’t pay on the 1st. The daughter is not a party to this buy now pay later contact. The owner of the boots is the mother.

She entered into a contract with OP. It’s regrettable the daughter is upset, but it’s irrelevant to if OP is an assnole if she keeps the boots. She isnt. OP you are not obligated to pay early or to explain your sewing plans so far, but if you want to help the seller, explain your situation,

that the boots are already in use as a pattern and thus taken apart, and the skins are rotted and deteriorated and cannot be simply sewn back together and returned. You will pay her on or before the 1st as you promised.

If they want the skins in the current condition, make sure this return is recorded in some way. Do not offer to resew them or make new boots. The deal is the deal and these boots are yours.

mlc885 −  NTA. You told her when you would pay and she told you to take them in advance, you can just explain to her that you cannot return them and then give her the money you owe her on the 1st. You had no way of knowing she might expect to suddenly need them back since you were told they were yours.

ApprehensiveBook4214 −  NTA.  “No thanks.  I’m happy with the agreement we made and will have the $300 to you on 01/01/2025 as agreed.”. Make it sound like a request because she’s asking for you to agree to undo your agreement.

If she hadn’t insisted on you taking them with you this would be a whole different story.  Now she gets to live with her decision.  Don’t respond to any other messages.  Just send her the payment as agreed and then block her.

Practical_Machine270 −  NTA, but neither is she. Explain that you’ve taken them apart to create a pattern, but perhaps you could offer a copy of the pattern to her daughter? (Unrelated but seems like you would use the boots more than the daughter though and she only really wants them now that they’re gone). As long as you pay her on the first NTA 🙂

Traditional-Load8228 −  NAH. You agreed to take them now and pay later. If she didn’t consider them yours she shouldn’t have told you to take them. Just explain that you’ve taken them apart for a project of your own. And pay her as fast as you possibly can. Do you have someone you could borrow the money from and pay them on the first?

LetsGetsThisPartyOn −  NTA. She sold them to you!. They are yours. She doesn’t get to change the agreement.. You pay her on the first still!

Do you think the Redditor should return the boots, given the seller’s change of heart, or is it fair for them to keep the boots since they acted in good faith and already started working on them? How would you handle this delicate cultural and ethical dilemma? Share your thoughts and perspectives below!