AITA for refusing to let my mom use my makeup products?

OP (19) did her mom’s (56) makeup and used a special color corrector bought in Korea. OP explained how it worked and told her mom not to use it without her supervision. Despite this, her mom used it the next morning, over-applied it, and mixed the two separate colors in the product, ruining it.

When OP confronted her, her mom dismissed her concerns, saying she was overreacting. OP feels frustrated and hurt, especially since the product was expensive, and her mom ignored her boundaries. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to let my mom use my makeup products?’

I (19) did my mom’s (56) makeup yesterday for fun. She ended up really liking how I was able to cover up her dark spots and asked me what I used. I told her it was a color corrector that I bought in Korea. She then asked me to explain it to her, because she “wanted to use it from now on too”.

I went through and explained how each color is meant to “correct” another (basically just told her I used the peachy color to correct her dark spots). She then says “I’m going to use it tomorrow before I leave for church in the morning.” I tell her “PLEASE wake me up and have ME put it on you.”

I was extremely nervous about this because she has a history of using my makeup without asking me and 99% of the time she uses products incorrectly and damages them. So, I told her I’d rather she not use mine at all but if she insisted, to have me there to make sure she doesn’t f**k up my products that I paid for.

As I’m going to bed, I consider hiding my color corrector before sleeping so that no matter what she won’t use it without my supervision. However, I decide to trust her and go to bed. The morning rolls around and I wake up to see her already rummaging through my products in my room.

I say “??? Did you already use my color corrector?? “ and she says “yeah!” I bolt up and look at it and am horrified to find that she’s done everything I was scared she’d do. She didn’t know how much of the product to use, so she overshot and now there are two humongous craters in the product.

She also MIXED the two colors that are in the product. The green is supposed to counteract redness and the peach is supposed to counteract dark spots—she mixed both together so now the entire product is just this u**y, muddy mess.

I asked her why she used it when I explicitly told her 100 times to make sure I was awake and supervising her, and she told me that she tried to wake me up and I didn’t respond, so she just went ahead and used it. I said, “if I didn’t respond, then you should have PUT IT DOWN????

How am I supposed to use this now??????” And she told me I was overreacting and to hurry up and give her more of my products before she left. I told her to get out of my room and kicked her out. She yelled at me, saying that I was overreacting over nothing and slammed my door on her way out.

I spent the morning crying in frustration. It’s not like she was asleep while I did her makeup with the color corrector, SHE SAW ME USE IT AND LITERALLY HAD ME EXPLAIN IT. Never once did I even touch the green colored corrector, so why did she go and mix them???

Not to mention, can’t she see the product clearly has the color separated into their own sections? You can SEE from the fact there is no mixing that I’ve used this product intentionally not mixing the colors…SO WHY WOULD SHE THINK THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MIX THEM????. AITA and reacting over nothing?

Check out how the community responded:

ScatterbrainedGenius −  NTA. She needs to pay you back the cost of everything she ruined (because it sounds like she wouldn’t know what to buy to replace it) and unfortunately you’re going to have to keep all of your makeup in a bag that stays in your room or somewhere she can’t find it.

It might help to go to the beauty store together and have an employee there explain and demo color correctors for her, and she can buy one for herself with her own money if she likes it.

Maybe hearing the proper way to use a product like that from another adult that isn’t her daughter would stick a bit better?
Either way, she isn’t entitled to your belongings that you bought and paid for, and she needs to learn that.

dragonetta123 −  I cringe on your behalf about the mixing colours in the palette and incorrect use. I, too, would be pissed if anyone handled my very expensive makeup that way (I’m fussy over brands).

Is it a case of you only need to scrape off the top mixed bit of the colour, or is it a creamier colour corrector that she went overkill on and is not salvageable?
Your mum crossed a boundary that you are allowed to have. So for not letting your mum use your makeup NTA.

You probably need to clear the air chat as acting out of anger wasn’t great either. When doing that, remind your mum it isn’t recommended to share makeup for hygiene reasons.

oliviamrow −  NTA, your mother deliberately broke her word to you and used your stuff, which she had no right to. She basically stole from you, and on top of that she ruined the product and is now responsible for making you whole, i.e. replacing your cosmetics.

These are basic lessons that *young children* are able to understand. If you live with her: buy a lock box and keep your products in there so she doesn’t bust into them in the future; there are even makeup-specific boxes with key locks. (And also try to move out as soon as you can.).

If you’re just visiting, keep a luggage lock and keep your stuff locked up. Either way, when she inevitably gets mad because you locked her out of your stuff, remind her that this is the consequence of *her* actions. You can’t treat her like a trusted adult if she insists on acting like a greedy child.

busyshrew −  As a mom, I would never consider using my daughter’s stuff. I have mine, she has hers. It’s one of the first rules of makeup hygiene – you do NOT SHARE PRODUCTS. I’ve drilled that into my own daughter’s head. That way lies possible cross-infections! I’m sorry this happened to you OP.

It’s especially hard because as the daughter you have far less power than your mother. So it is super difficult. My advice is, if the products are ruined, just give them to your mother, and tell her “they are yours now, I can’t use them”. Ignore any yelling from her, or attempts to diminish your feelings in this regard.

Just stay as calm as you can. Ask her politely to help cover the cost of replacement. Maybe not 100%, but at least 50%. She’s basically bought them. She might yell some. Ignore and stay calm and ask again.

If she doesn’t help, well, there honestly is likely not much you can do, except from this point forward, get a lockbox and don’t share with your mom. Consider it a very hard and bitter lesson learned. Sorry you had to go through this OP.

BeeFree66 −  You need to hide your cosmetics from your mother of all people. She clearly doesn’t respect your stated boundaries. Treat her like a child cuz she’s acting like a child.. Hide/lock up your stuff.

Liu1845 −  Two things. Never believe your mother again and always lock up your make up.. NTA Tell her she ruined them and make her reimburse you the full cost.

creepygirl420 −  WTF 😭 I’m sorry but is your mother an i**ot?? I’m trying to understand her thought process here and it makes absolutely no sense… has she never owned makeup in her life? Why on earth would you go and destroy it like that? I have so many questions… NTA

Vivid_Ad_895 −  NTA Yikes, your mom doesn’t respect other people’s things at all; you offered to do it for her too. Yea nta she needs to learn to respect your stuff and how you want to share it.

Lonely_Midnight781 −  As a mom who is clueless about makeup and has an adult daughter who helps me do makeup sometimes, you’re NTA.. Your mom is a huge one, however. Over the years, my daughter has helped me out and used her product on me.

Never in a million years would I go into her room and take/use her product. She’d also not have to even think of reminding me not to steal/use her stuff, so your mom has already previously been the ah.

And even though I’m pretty clueless, yes, it is obvious not to mix colors like that (and not to gouge them either). She’s either really dumb or deliberately messing with your makeup to have made that much of a mess (We know for sure she’s very self-involved as well).

SnowBoarda −  I’m a male and don’t exactly use makeup but this reason right here (people not caring for yours like it’s their own, not respecting what you asked of them)

Is exactly why I try my hardest not to lend stuff out because it’s very seldom do you find someone who actually treats your stuff the way you treat it and then when you get mad about it they try to make you out to be the A-Hole.

Is OP overreacting, or is her frustration valid? Should her mom respect her boundaries, especially when it comes to personal items? Share your thoughts below!