AITA for refusing to take a ticket away from my boyfriend’s niece, to give it to mine?
A Reddit user shares a family conflict over ticket distribution for their ballet performance. When the user decided to let their boyfriend’s niece, a fellow young ballerina, keep her ticket.
Their mother demanded it be given instead to the user’s two-year-old niece. The refusal sparked accusations of favoritism and strained family dynamics. Read the full story below for the full context and details.
‘ AITA for refusing to take a ticket away from my boyfriend’s niece, to give it to mine? ‘
I (18F) am a ballerina, in a show that finishes up this weekend. My family and my boyfriend’s family will be attending my show on Sunday night. My boyfriend’s niece (let’s call her Evie) is 5 years old, and takes ballet classes. She will be dancing in the other two shows that weekend, but NOT on Sunday.
However, she will be attending with the purpose of watching me perform on that Sunday, alongside the rest of the family. I’ve decided that *my* niece (let’s call her Jane) will stay home from the Sunday night performance. Tickets are gone, so she is 100% not getting one.
She just turned two in September, and I think she’s just too young for this experience – she’ll get overtired and throw a tantrum, I just know it. My mom wants me to take away Evie’s ticket and give it to Jane.
She says “Evie will have seen the show multiple times, it doesn’t matter to her” and that Jane should have the opportunity to attend. I have refused to do this, and she lectured me about the importance of one’s “real family” and “Jane will grow up and see how you favoured Evie, and it will hurt”.
Now she’s telling the rest of the family how I “don’t care for my own niece” and “love their family more”. AITA for refusing to take a ticket from my boyfriend’s niece to give it to mine?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
gastropod43 − NTA. Your niece will only feel left out if everyone tells her she should be upset. Having to sit still for 2 hours and be ignored by everyone and not be allowed to talk is not fun for 2 years olds.. You are saving her.
Competitive_Cod_3843 − NTA. Jane is too young, and Evie will directly benefit because she is taking ballet and understands more about what she’s seeing. Plus you have already made a decision and a commitment to Evie. It would be unfair to resend the offer.
I don’t meet many people who remember things from when they were two, or at least not very many memories. Most people remember quite a bit from when they were five.
Your point about the behavior of a two-year-old is a valid concern. She’s unlikely to behave well for the entire performance, and would diminish other people’s experience of the show.
missdeb99912 − NTA. Your reasoning is sound and logical. Not to mention, you can’t just “take back” a ticket without it being terribly rude and hurtful to the little girl. Your family is trying to b**ly you or manipulate you. Ask if they have a babysitter lined up – I wonder if they don’t and that’s the reason they’re making a huge fuss
mlc885 − NTA. She is two. Kids are smart, but there is zero chance she gets more out of it than Evie might. And unless Jane grows up with no common sense she will not regret missing this or feel that it was because you favored the other kid, that is absurd.
Ignoring all of that, the ticket was already promised so it is gone. There is no longer a free ticket. If you *wanted* to take it back to give to a baby then that would be mean, this just wasn’t a thing you could do. Everybody you love and care for is your “real family” unless we are talking about organ donation.
LowJeansHighHopes − NTA. Also, and this is gonna sound harsh… Even if it was a 12 and a 15-year-old, I still would say keep letting Evie have the ticket. Evie takes ballet, she’s in the show, and she’s your boyfriend’s niece… She benefits directly from being able to see the show.
bogo0814 − NTA. Your niece is TWO. She’s not going to appreciate the show. She’s not going to care. I think your sister just doesn’t want to get a babysitter.
CoffeeSippingCat − NTA. And Jane will only “grow up and see how you favoured Evie” if that’s the narrative your family chooses to peddle. Up to them if they want to deliberately damage your relationship with Jane.
Ornery_Gate_6847 − Man if someone told me being excluded from a ballerina show when I was an infant should shape my relationship with someone, I’d think they were insane. NTA babies don’t mind missing events
Drapple1382 − NTA. Leave that kid home. I attended The Nutcracker earlier this month and the entire first act was disturbed by the toddler in front of me talking the entire time. She stood up, she sat down, she walked in front of her family, she put her feet up over the seats in front of her.
After intermission, mom was in an empty seat with her at the back of our section. I heard her chatter a bit. When we left, she was sound asleep on moms lap. I’d be really surprised if you mom or other family member is willing to take her away if she is acting up. Don’t let her ruin the experience for others. She can stay home.
EmceeSuzy − INFO: How did you acquire the ticket you’re allocating to your boyfriend’s niece? And when you say she will sit with the family do you mean YOUR family? And will the boyfriend be sitting with the group?
Do you think the Redditor was right to prioritize her boyfriend’s niece, who shares her passion for ballet, or should she have found a way to include her younger niece, even at the expense of Evie’s experience?
How would you handle balancing family expectations and personal decisions in a similar scenario? Share your thoughts and perspectives below!