AITA for accepting inheritance from my deadbeat father?

A 19-year-old man was offered an apartment inheritance from his estranged, deadbeat father after his grandmother passed away. Despite the father acknowledging his past mistakes and asking for nothing in return, the young man’s family—especially his mother and stepfather—are upset and feel he shouldn’t accept it, citing the father’s terrible history.

OP consulted a lawyer, who clarified that accepting the inheritance has no legal strings attached. Still, the family believes OP should honor his mother’s wishes and refuse it, but OP feels accepting it would help him start his life more easily. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for accepting inheritance from my deadbeat father ?’

I 19m barely remember my real father, the last memory I had was that he was yelling at my mother and I was maybe 6 and hiding under the kitchen table.
He was a terrible man with an alcohol problem.

One day he fled the country and was never seen again, my mother met my stepfather who is a great man, and raised me as his own kid. Just a few months ago I received a formal notice from my real father, telling me that my grandmother (his mother) had died, and he didn’t expect me to go to the funeral,

as I did not even know the lady, but decided to pass her apartment to me, as he was never part of my life, it is least he can do, he doesn’t expect me to contact him or anything, he wrote that he knows how terrible he was and nothing can excuse that.

I was excited about the fact that I could start my life way easier and told my family about it and they got really mad at me, telling me how terrible person he was and all, and that is all true!

My mother said that he is probably using that to contact me or even worse, use it to claim that he took care of me so I have to take care of him when he is old! So I talked with a pro bono lawyer about it and she told me that accepting an inheritance can’t be considered paying child support (which he never did),

so if I decide to accept the apartment, it does not oblige me to anything. My parents are still mad at me, my stepfather says I should honour my mother’s wish and not accept it, while I believe that it would be stupid to say no and deny a chance to start my life a bit easier than others my age.. AITA for accepting that apartment?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Aware_Welcome_8866 −  Honey, if anyone needs to accept an inheritance, it’s the child of a deadbeat dad. Be cautious; I can understand your parents’ concerns.

I also wonder if they’re worried you might feel some care for your father because he let you know of the inheritance and it will lead you to seek a relationship with him. Remind them they are the best parents in the world and you have no desire to replace them.. Happy life my dear ❤️

marheena −  NTA – make sure you cover all your legal bases and make sure bio Dad doesn’t have any kind of legal loopholes to have access to the apartment once you take ownership. Make sure you can afford any taxes and insurance on the place.

Then take it. Never give up organic opportunities just out of spite. Life is hard enough. Sounds like yours was worse than most. No reason to let pride or misguided righteousness hold you back further.

endor-pancakes −  NTA. I understand your mum’s concerns, and it’s important that you reassure her that you won’t let that guy worm his way into your life, but at the end of the day it’s not reasonable to expect you to refuse a free apartment with no perceptible strings attached.

dheffe01 −  NTA. Talk to your mother that, that you love and respect her and that this inheritence is in no way diminishing all the love and support she has given you.

That you consider it an inheritence from your grand mother, that you didn’t even get to know because your father was such a worthless waste of space. and that you have no intention of ever contacting your father except to remind him of his outstanding child support to your mother.

therealsatansweasel −  My dad had a similar situation when the man who was his biological father died. Dad didn’t want anything to do with him even after d**th because of how s**tty he was to him, abandoning him as a child.

Lost out on 1.5 million in assets. So this share went to other heirs. He really showed him, huh. Don’t let a false sense of “getting even” cost you an opportunity.

IntelligentPea5184 −  NTA. info: do you think they’re bothered that this came to you without anything going to them?

BeyondAbleCrip −  Absolutely NTA – my Son’s diagnosed s**iopath “father” died & they had not talked in over 11 years. The deadbeat owed my Son over $26,000 & cried poverty. Died without a will & estate was far from poverty. My Son thought it should go to me, said absolutely not – all should go to him.

I think it’s horrible that anyone is saying anything except you deserve every penny & should not feel obligated at all to even speak to him. You were smart to contact a lawyer. Keep that excitement and take the inheritance. Don’t listen to anyone that says anything but congratulations, you deserve this.

I’m very happy for you & I don’t even know you. Not sure why your Mom & Stepfather are being the way they are but it’s their issues, not yours. It’s wonderful that you’re going to have it a little bit easier. You didn’t deserve to have a deadbeat Dad & I truly hope you don’t let anyone make you feel badly about this. Good for you!

Dependent_Lobster_18 −  NTA. Yes he hurt you and your mother and this apartment will not change that however it can give you a huge advantage as you grow into your adult years.

Random thought but this story is giving me vibes of the movie Coco. A father abandoned the family and they all decided to hold a grudge over it to the detriment of the child because the grudge was more important.

toxic_renaissance69 −  Has your mom checked the f**king housing market?

CartoonistPrize8186 −  NTA. Take the inheritance and carry on with your life as you are. It doesn’t have to change a thing if you don’t want it to.

Is OP wrong for taking the inheritance despite his family’s feelings, or is he justified in prioritizing his future? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!