AITA for accepting cake at my friend’s birthday party?

A man (41M) attended a friend’s birthday party where a guest, Amy, baked a cake. Amy offered him a slice even though she knew he disliked coconut. He took it, ate a couple of bites, and threw it away later. The next day, Amy’s partner Steven sent angry messages,

saying Amy cried because OP took her slice of cake (she only cut 8 pieces) and wasted it. OP is now questioning if he’s the AH since most of his friends are not responding to his texts. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for accepting cake at my friend’s birthday party?’

So this is a bit of a weird one. I (41M) was at a friend’s birthday party on the weekend just past. There were 9 of us at the party including the birthday boy (which is surprisingly relevant). All fake names from here on out. Amy (30ish F), one of the guests, baked a cake for the birthday boy.

After the relevant party traditions of singing the birthday song, and the hip-hip-hooraying that happens after the birthday song here in Australia, I went back to talking to one of my friends when Amy came up to me and the other friend with 2 plates of cake and offered them to my friend and I.

We both said yes, thanked her, and then she made a really odd face and walked away. My friend and I both said it was weird, and went back to chatting. I ate some of the cake and it had desiccated coconut inside it, which I don’t particularly like, so after a couple of bites,I ignored it and then chucked it out when the party ended about an hour or so later.

About 45 minutes ago, Steven (30ish M), Amy’s partner, sent me a series of angry texts (8am on a Monday morning is really not the best time to receive angry texts) saying how Amy spent last night crying about how she didn’t get to eat any of her cake and that I took a slice of it only to throw it away and deprive her of her own cake,

and that she only cut 8 slices since she knows I don’t like coconut, but I took her slice and threw it away to spite her. I replied, “Why did she even offer me any cake if she knew there was coconut inside?” Steven said that she did it to be polite and not leave me out,

and that I was an a**hole for taking her slice and throwing it away. I forwarded the message to my other friends that were there, and most of them have left me on read so far, except one who responded with a thumbs down emoji, and another who hasn’t seen it yet (as of this writing). The fact that no one’s responding to me is making me worry that I might have been the a**hole here.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

CrinklyPacket −  NTA. What a bizarre situation. You cut enough cake for everyone there (including yourself), and don’t hand cake to people if you’re relying on them turning it down so you can eat it yourself. You did the right thing by accepting it, it would have been more rude to decline. She seems weird as she’s making this a much bigger issue than it is.

aLittleTooEverything −  Wait wait wait…. so Steven… her **partner**…. ATE CAKE and didn’t give her any? And then he messaged you about not liking the cake that was offered to you? Amy and Steven are perfect for each other hahahahahaha. NTA PS. Coconut is delicious, you’re wrong there.

Apart-Ad-6518 −  Totally 100% NTA. Amy spent last night *crying* about how she didn’t get to eat any of her cake. She’s *30 ish*?? Seriously? “Why did she even *offer* me any cake if she knew there was coconut inside?” Good question. I read your post twice because I thought I must be missing something.

To reiterate, imho you **are not** the A H here. Who behaves like that/ sends a ton of aggressive messages over a slice of *cake*, smh. You deserve way better friends though.

AdmirableCost5692 −  if Amy at her age is crying ALL night for a piece of cake, she needs to see a psychiatrist… urgently

wytchwomyn74 −  “Amy” made a cake for “Steven’s 30ish” birthday and then spent the night crying because she doesn’t know how to cut a damn cake. Or idk ask people who wanted a slice or nit. That’s some f**k dramatic making someone else’s birthday exhausting s**t.. Nta but “Amy” is definitely ta

TheGoodJeans −  NTA… what an overreaction. Their response really…takes the cake…

BonsaiZombie −  Info: Did you know that it had coconut in it when she offered it to you?

UteLawyer −  NTA. Amy should have told you everything before she cut the cake. Instead, she offered it to you and expected you to know 1) that she only had cut 8 pieces 2) she wanted you decline because you don’t like coconut which 3) she didn’t tell you the cake had.

oliviamrow −  NTA, it sounds like she thinks you should have known, psychically perhaps, that it was the last of the cake and that it had coconut in it. I suppose it’s possible that these things were said/announced to the group but you didn’t hear it, but…

Why didn’t she just cut *nine* slices? There’s no law that says you have to use the usual split cuts in a round cake, even if it’s a little unwieldy. And if it was square or rectangle, nine is actually quite a practical number of slices, 3×3.

Or why didn’t Steven give up *his* slice for his partner, who he loves and who he knows went to effort to make the cake? Or why didn’t Amy and Steven *share* a piece?

I don’t know what’s going on with Amy and Steven or why you have become their target exactly, but it kinda feels like you are getting the brunt of some kind of anger/control issue/whatever that actually has nothing to do with you.

freckledirewolf −  I have made birthday cakes for friends/ family before. You know what I do before I cut the cake? I say ‘hey who would like some cake? It’s lemon/ chocolate/ desiccated coconut/ whatever flavour’ and then I serve accordingly, and don’t police who in my company ate what. And I cut myself a slice too, because I’m not a martyr. NTA

It seems like there were crossed wires in communication here. Amy’s intention to be polite backfired, and while OP didn’t act maliciously, taking food you don’t enjoy can unintentionally waste it. However, this could’ve been avoided with clearer communication. What do you think? Should OP have declined the cake more firmly or is this an overreaction? Share your thoughts below!