My cousin has stolen my entire dream wedding idea, AITAH for refusing to help her?

A Reddit user (presumably 20s-30s) is upset after her cousin stole her entire wedding idea. As an aspiring wedding planner, the user had spent years curating ideas and even shared them with her cousin when she got engaged.

However, when her cousin announced her wedding plans, it was nearly identical to the user’s vision, down to the venue and theme. When confronted, the cousin brushed it off, claiming the user should be flattered.

Now, the cousin is asking for help executing the wedding, but the user is refusing, feeling hurt and taken advantage of. The family is divided, with some supporting the user and others calling her petty. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolds.

‘ my cousin has stolen my entire dream wedding idea, AITAH for refusing to help her?’

I have always been super into event planning. It’s been my dream since I was a kid to run my own business as a wedding planner. Over the past few years, I’ve been building a portfolio of ideas, mood boards, and mock-up plans. I even planned a couple of small events for family and friends, and everyone said I was talented.

My cousin got engaged earlier this year, and I was thrilled for her. She asked me for advice about her wedding, and I was over the moon. I spent hours helping her brainstorm, even sharing some of my most unique and creative ideas, things I’d been saving for my future career.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and she announces her wedding plans to the family. I was excited to hear what she’d decided, but as she described it, my heart sank. It was my plan… Like, exactly. From the enchanted forest theme, to the color palette, to the quirky little personal touches I’d spent years curating it was all there.

She even used one of the venue ideas I’d suggested and claimed it was her “dream location.” I confronted her privately and asked why she hadn’t at least credited me for the concept. She brushed me off, saying, “It’s just a wedding. You should be flattered I loved your ideas so much!”

To make matters worse, she’s now asking me to help her execute the wedding. She wants me to “be her assistant” on the big day since I’m so “good at it.” I told her no. I said I felt taken advantage of and hurt that she didn’t even acknowledge my work.

She called me dramatic and ungrateful, saying this washer big day and I should be happy to support her. Now the family is weighing in. Some people think she was wrong for stealing my ideas, but others say weddings aren’t about originality and I should let it go. My cousin insists I’m being petty and ruining her special time.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

teresajs −  You gave her the ideas and she used them..   What did you expect? That said, don’t give her any more unpaid labor.  She can hire a Wedding Planner if she needs support.

anon200006 −  INFO : “She asked me for advice about her wedding, and I was over the moon. I spent hours helping her brainstorm, even sharing some of my most unique and creative ideas, things I’d been saving for my future career.” what did you expect her to do when she asked you for help and you gave her the ideas ??

Downtown-Session-567 −  I’m confused… you want to be a wedding planner… but only have one idea in mind? Just planning the same wedding over and over again? Or you’re mad she’s using ideas you gave her?

_iron_butterfly_ −  You contradict yourself repeatedly… you want to be an event planner, you sat down and brainstormed ideas with her, and now you’re upset she liked the ideas you shared?

There is nothing original about an enchanted forest theme wedding… Are you even engaged and planning your own wedding? YTA – Stop causing needless drama and do not volunteer to help if you’re going to be spiteful.

Unabashed_American −  You gave her suggestions and told her about some awesome ideas after she asked for your help, what did you expect her to do, not listen to you?

dystopiadattopia −  Wait, you told her your ideas in a brainstorming session for HER wedding, and now you’re upset that she used the ideas you freely gave her?

I always hate when people say “It’s just a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, get over it,” so your cousin’s being a bit of a b**t on that point. But you gave her the ideas in a context that was unquestionably about your cousin’s wedding.. ESH at best, though leaning YTA.

Hairy-Capital-3374 −  YTA for saying she “stole” your ideas. You willingly told her them!!

Mobile_Prune_3207 −  I mean. If you spoke about it and suggested a venue even then why are you upset? 

Poison-girl- −  NTA and your feelings are completely valid. Your cousin didn’t just borrow a few ideas—she essentially lifted your entire vision, something you’ve poured years of passion and creativity into.

For her to not only dismiss your feelings but also expect you to help her execute it after blatantly taking your work is incredibly disrespectful and entitled.

theworldisonfire8377 −  I don’t understand this at all. Your first paragraph is all about why you love event planning so much and you’re so happy your friends and family think you’re talented.. then your cousin uses your suggestions and now you’re all “those were my ideas”… why would you tell her if you didn’t want her to use them?

Why give her ideas you wanted for yourself? I just don’t get it, this is so stupid. YTA I guess because you completely contradict yourself. It’s like a chef getting upset that their food got eaten. “Oh, you were only supposed to tell me how awesome I am, not actually take my ideas.” Wtf!

Do you think the user’s feelings are justified for not helping her cousin after having her ideas stolen, or is it just a case of wedding planning being less about originality? How would you handle this situation in a family dynamic? Share your thoughts below!