[Update] Am I in the wrong for telling my ex-husband that our kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father?

A Redditor shares an update on a complex family situation involving their ex-husband and a 15-year-old boy who was allegedly assaulted. The ex-husband was cleared of violence charges, but the boy’s account differs, and the story took a troubling turn with a police altercation.

Now, the Reddit user is grappling with suspicions around the handling of the case, especially considering their children’s feelings about their father. The user reveals that their kids’ visits to their father are suspended and expresses doubts about the fairness of the situation. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolded.

‘ [Update] Am I in the wrong for telling my ex-husband that our kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father?’

I thought long and hard before posting this update because I feel like my initial post and this one don’t serve the purpose, as they don’t directly involve my children. Here’s what happened: it was determined that the 15 year old boy was indeed assaulted.

I don’t have all the details about what was said during his interview since, being a minor, that information is protected. From what I understand, my ex mother in law hired a lawyer, and with the mother’s statement, my ex was cleared of the violence charges. However, the boy insists on a different version of what happened.

In the middle of all this, my ex had an altercation with a police officer when they were separating him from the boy’s father, which led to his arrest for a week. In the end, there were no charges for violence or child abuse.

On the other hand, the boy’s mother is still on maternity leave, and from what I’ve heard, she was referred to parenting and anger management courses. The boy’s father can’t take care of him full time, and the boy said he would go back to his mother if my ex left the house.

Apparently, that didn’t happen, so the boy is currently staying with his paternal grandmother.. That’s all I know for now. My eldest son knows what happened, but it wasn’t through me I want to clarify that because people tend to assume a lot here.

I don’t think I’ll update again unless this directly involves my kids, and honestly, I hope it doesn’t come to that. For now, my kids’ visits to my ex are suspended. While I respect the court’s decision,

I still have my doubts about how the situation was handled, and I’m shocked at how justice worked in this case. I don’t want to speculate, but there are rumors that my ex mother in law paid a lot of money. I can’t confirm that, though.. Wishing you all happy holidays.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

miyuki_m −  Your ex needs to sort himself out, and until he does, your kids don’t need to witness the chaos. I hope things get better.

Magellan-88 −  Every time you post, the sound of clown shoes squeaking along gets louder & louder. I feel bad for the kids involved.

Samarkand457 −  I think justice was served by your ex getting his s**t rocked by that kid. And since that kid saw the system do nothing, he will have no incentive to hold back.

Dalton402 −  What a soap opera. You could put this saga on Netflix. Personally, I would be looking for ways for your kids to stay away from their dad and his wife. It isn’t good for them. I can’t believe his wife put your ex before her child! Your ex’s and his wife’s lives are imploding. I hope you’re stocking up on popcorn 🍿

Hinevis1a −  Wow, this situation is a whole soap opera, but not the fun kind. You’re absolutely doing the right thing by keeping your kids away until things are clear.

Honestly, your ex’s household sounds like chaos central, and your priority is keeping your kids safe, not playing detective. Justice system aside, trust your instincts you’ve got this, and your kids are lucky to have you steering the ship. Stay strong, and happy holidays to you too.

ObsidianConspiracyXx −  Whatever faint praise I may have had for grandma previously is completely gone now. Although, her precious little boy is not doing himself any favors inheritance wise.

Ok_Routine9099 −  NTA. Thanks for the journaling and may you have peaceful holidays. I would share that what’s going on with your ex’s stepson directly impacts the stability for your children (and the willingness for them to see their dad… )

Regardless of your ex’s version versus the 15 year old’s version, there’s chaos in that house and it’s not the environment that fosters good things. It’s amazing that your ex has created another child while being unable to pay for his existing children.

And feels like he is entitled to tell you what you need and deserve for the children’s welfare. That alone says he is not in control of himself. May your children not see any more of the chaos than what is absolutely necessary. Best wishes for the new year!

EllaVibes −  Wow, that’s quite a rollercoaster. It’s great that you’re keeping a level head through all the drama. Keeping your kids out of the mess as much as possible is key, and it sounds like you’re doing just that.

It’s wild how these situations unfold, huh? Here’s to hoping things stabilize soon and your holidays can be more about hot cocoa and less about courtrooms. Stay strong!

Aegon2050 −  Updateme!

GrandTransportation −  Thanks for the update! I am just glad you and your kids are fine. Happy holidays!

Do you think the user’s doubts about the fairness of the situation are justified, or do you think the legal process handled everything appropriately? How would you manage the emotional strain of such a complicated family scenario? Share your thoughts and opinions below!