AITAH for refusing to change the date of my wedding for my sister?

A Reddit user, a 28-year-old woman, is facing pressure from her family to change her wedding date after her older sister, 35, announced her own engagement. The user and her fiancé had already planned their wedding around a significant date—the anniversary of their first date—months in advance.

However, her sister wants to marry on the same weekend, citing convenience for her fiancé’s family and the symbolic significance of sharing the wedding date. The user refuses to change the date, but now her family is pushing her to accommodate her sister’s wishes. Read the full story below to understand the user’s perspective and the family drama that’s unfolded.

‘ AITAH for refusing to change the date of my wedding for my sister?’

My fiancé (32M) and I (28F) have been planning our wedding for over a year. We chose a date that’s significant to us it’s the anniversary of our first date. Everything is booked: the venue, the caterer, and even our honeymoon. We sent out save-the-dates months ago, and most of our family and friends have RSVP’d.

A month ago, my older sister (35F) announced that she and her long-time boyfriend got engaged. I was thrilled for her and told her I couldn’t wait to help with wedding planning. However, she dropped a bombshell last week: she wants to get married on the same weekend as my wedding and asked me to move mine.

Her reasoning? The date I chose falls on her boyfriend’s parents’ wedding anniversary; she thinks it would be “beautiful” to share the date. She also argued that since her boyfriend’s family is flying in from another country, it would be more convenient for them to attend a wedding that weekend rather than planning a separate trip.

I told her I couldn’t change the date because everything was already set, and it would be a logistical nightmare—not to mention costly to reschedule. She got upset and said I was being selfish and not accommodating her “once-in-a-lifetime moment.”

My parents are now pressuring me to change my wedding date to “keep the peace.” They say my sister’s relationship is “new and exciting” and needs the extra support, while my fiancé and I have been together for years and “don’t need the spotlight.”

My fiancé is furious and says we shouldn’t cave to the pressure. My best friend thinks my sister is being unreasonable, but my mom keeps calling me and saying that I’m creating unnecessary drama by refusing. So, AITAH for not changing my wedding date?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

FirmAd9087 −  No. Because if you changed it then someone else wouldn’t have been able to make it. Your sister should quit being so selfish.

soupdumpIing −  NTA please for the love of god if you know what’s good for you do NOT change that wedding date.

Ragadast335 −  NTA, and it seems that your sister is the golden daughter.  From my point of view, your sister could have offered you some kind of compensation, or could have adapted her wishes to yours, or could marry next year giving all the credits to her parents in law wedding anniversary…

Traditional-Day1140 −  This is your once in a life time moment too! Is your sister their favorite? Absolutely do not change your wedding date. NTA.

ApocolypseJoe −  NTA Don’t change the date, and I would make sure to have passwords with all of the vendors because she may try to s**ew your wedding up.

TheTruthIs2022 −  Your sister can go kick rocks. If the date is that important to her let her do it on that date—next year! Your parents are absolutely delusional to think after all the time, money, and energy you’ve put into planning this that you can just cancel/postpone/change date is so freaking gross.

I’d make it VERY clear that what they are asking is completely unreasonable and if they aren’t willing to let it go then it’s all a moot point-they’re uninvited and can start planning her wedding for the same weekend anyway.

But I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it has nothing to with wanting to share the date with her future in laws, she finally got the ring and now wants to be the center of attention and the best way to do that is to make herself a shadow over your planning. She’s jealous that you are younger than her yet are hitting a milestone before her and she can’t stand it. Would you agree that between the two of you, your parents have always treated her as the golden child?

Actual-Dog-405 −  If the sister’s relationship is ‘new and exciting’, isn’t it too soon for marriage?

LuluDivine_ −  Call her bluff, let the trash take itself out. Tell sis she’s welcome to schedule her wedding anytime she wishes. You won’t be able to attend as you have a prior arrangement- aka your own wedding. Let her send out her invites, see how her attendees- especially those who already RSVPd- will react. If they go to hers- at least you know who can trust from now on.

TheVaneja −  NTA. Even if they were willing to pay for all the changes that this would result in I’d still say no. She chose your date after she knew. Unless she’s dying or something that’s completely unacceptable. I’d tell my mom to drop it or I’ll drop her. If the date is so important to her she can do it next year.

Gwekkemans −  If I read one more AI story where the sentence _my parents told me to just do it for my sister to “keep the peace”_ is present, imma lose it.