Update: Wbita if I don’t tell my wife that her best friend tried to kiss me?

I decided to tell my wife everything, I thought about it alot and decided that I should tell her everything instead of hiding it. First, please read my original post: https://aita.pics/HJbVA

‘ Update: Wbita if I don’t tell my wife that her best friend tried to kiss me?’

Tldr: my wife’s best friend showed up at my place, she was very drunk, I helped her but she was so drunk she kissed me but she couldn’t even walk properly so I dropped her off, I told my wife everything except that her friend kissed me.

So after alot of thinking and finding a way to get past all this I decided to tell my wife when I told my wife everything, she was pissed, angry like never before, she asked me why did I hide it from her why I didn’t tell her. I said I was scared, I hoped that I could hide it all and I didn’t want you to lose your lifelong friend over a mistake but then I realised that if I continue to hide the truth from you I might end up losing you and I don’t want to lose you.

My wife asked me if I ever cheated on her, I said I never cheated and never will, she started crying and said how can I betray her when she trusted me so much, I hugged her and said I never betrayed her and will never betray her, I am coming clean cause I don’t want to lose you, I was as shocked as you are right now when she kissed me.

My wife after she stopped crying said that I am not allowed to talk to any of her friends and I am to stay away from other women except our family members, my wife also asked me to block L, when I asked her what she will do, she said it’s between her and L and I don’t have to worry about it.

She demanded open phone policy and complete transparency from me, I agreed, she said if I ever try to hide anything from her no matter what it is she will leave me, I agreed cause I don’t ever want to hide anything from her.

I don’t know what happened and what both of them talked about and my wife wouldn’t tell me either, all she says is ‘none of my business’, she’s still super pissed at me and I try my best to make her happy and ended up doing embarassing private stuff for her which I never was and still uncomfortable to do so but atleast my wife is happy.

I do not know what else I could have done but I tried my best and gave it all, I came clean, told her everything, did everything she asked from me and tried my best to please her, she’s still angry but atleast she is with me and isn’t leaving me unless I make another stupid ass mistake.

See what others had to share with OP:

RetireBeforeDeath −  It seems to me that if she’s demanding an open phone policy from you because of this friend’s actions, then the conversation very much is your business.

WinterFront1431 −  She’s treating you like you cheated? I would ask her what was said and tell her she is to NO longer have contact with L. If she wants to throw around orders and act like you done her dirty, then she is to no longer have L in her life.

Equivalent-Bee6501 −  Open phone policy: fine. Its shows you are willing to be transparent after you hid this for days. Prohibiting you to talk to her friends because her friend kissed you: she is punishing you for something her friend did. Don’t let het gaslight you into accepting the blame about something you never did.

thirdtryisthecharm −  Why is she pissed at YOU? You literally didn’t do anything from what you’ve written here. I think it’s time for couple’s counseling to address why she’s blaming you for her friend’s betrayal.

WatchOutForSneks −  Um, I think your wife is going way overboard. Should you have told her what happened sooner? Definitely. But that doesn’t mean she should treat you as though you cheated. You were assaulted by her best friend, right? So why is she saying that you can’t interact with women other than relatives for the rest of your life? That’s not healthy. You two need counseling, like right away, or else this relationship is doomed.

TallSimple2929 −  I hate to say this, but your wife is most likely cheating on you. Every part of her reaction is indicative of cheating. I mean, it reads like a psych textbook. If I were you, I would bring up the open phone policy (an insane overreaction to someone else kissing you). Tell her that in the interest of both of you being honest and open with each other, you should both be subject to it. If she says anything other than “Yes, that’s fair,” then she is 100% messing with someone else.

InsertedPineapple −  I don’t know what happened and what both of them talked about and my wife wouldn’t tell me either, all she says is ‘none of my business’, she’s still super pissed at me and I try my best to make her happy and ended up doing embarassing private stuff for her which I never was and still uncomfortable to do so but atleast my wife is happy. This is abuse and you need to grow a spine.

You wife is the a**hole, and a controlling one at that. You had a reasonable response to a difficult situation and within a short period of time you came to the correct conclusion. I wouldn’t be surprised if she put her friend up to it so she could con you into doing something you didn’t want to do.

Glittering_Wafer7623 −  You’re scared to tell her things. She tells you what you’re allowed to do. “Embarassing private stuff”, whatever that means. You haven’t done anything wrong except failing to set the appropriate tone for your relationship.

Charwyn −  Your wife is f**king ridiculous. You got basically s**ually assaulted by her drunk friend (who DROVE DRUNK), and she blames YOU. And you don’t even have to know what’s would be the resolution of her with said friend. Honestly, I’d f**king divorce at that point. She ain’t got your back, and punishing you for being scared (and, turns out, you were right being scared, your wife can’t handle you being honest).. What a clusterfuck.

hotgingi −  What does “Kiss” mean in this context. A Quick peck on your cheeks or a long Kiss on the lips with more involved? Crucial info regarding Why she is mad at you.